The Brawl: Tumek the Heartless

Max

Perhaps half of the fighters who entered the Brawl are out of it by mid-day. The goblin medics work steadily at hauling off the wounded, pausing only to scowl up at the twisted boom of the medevac crane.

Aside from a few misfits and wilders still going it alone, the remaining fighters have split into a few camps. Runners jog from group to group, bringing challenges and insults from one boss fighter to another. Late in the morning a group made up of klengon deserters launches a sudden raid on one of the other gangs, scattering the lesser fighters and routing their dwarfish chief. The klengon leader wears a coward's brand but looks plenty fierce as he holds up the fallen dwarf's braids.

Neither runners nor raiders approach your group. For now...

wulfgar

Creature motions one of the runners to come over.

"Tell...him...Momma...Fat..Ugly" Creature grunts to the runner as he points at the Klengon chieftain.

(A momentary flash of what is hopefully intelligence has struck Creature's brain, as he figures it makes sense to fight the klengons while they're still tired from beating up on the dwarf's group. That and Creatures is getting a bit bored standing around)

Coffee

"Yeah!" Zarko adds. "I coulda stood around at home. I came here to fight!"

(Fortunately, I made my Unpleasant Order roll -- needed 70, got 67. Klengons are kinda scary...)

Rondo

Buck wants to keep in there too. Might as well; beats standing around. "Hey, gang...wanna walk over and knock some dust off their hats?"...points at a group of motley knuckleheads that stand gawking at our group, disorganized as we are about what to do.

Max

Originally Posted by wulfgar
Creature motions one of the runners to come over.

"Tell...him...Momma...Fat..Ugly" Creature grunts to the runner as he points at the Klengon chieftain.

Bob the Fighter, as modest and cheerful a fellow as you'd ever want to know, is quick to volunteer. "Sure thing, boss, I'll tell him."

"Tell em ezz mom'z so steppid she blenked and get lost," suggests Shifty. "Yebs, so flabby she hoppled ib the pool and mabe a tibal wave," burbles the man-frog Leeplo.

Bob doesn't look like the sort to pull off yo mama jokes, but he jogs off dutifully to issue Creature's challenge.

Originally Posted by Rondo
Buck wants to keep in there too. Might as well; beats standing around. "Hey, gang...wanna walk over and knock some dust off their hats?"...points at a group of motley knuckleheads that stand gawking at our group, disorganized as we are about what to do.

[As noted most fighters have joined one of the various ad hoc groups. Does Buck want to go looking for trouble with one of the unattached fighters wandering the arena (bunch of whackjobs and nutcases from what you can tell)? Or will he stick around and back Creech against the klengons?]

Rondo

(Creech and the Klengons....hey, that's a good band name!)

Max

Bob the Fighter catches the klengons' attention with a jovial wave. They fan around him a tense half circle as he approaches the leader, hand outstretched. The klengon spits in his face, but unflappable Bob merely pulls a handkerchief from a vest pocket and wipes off the spittle.

Bob speaks a few words, turning to point out Creature. The klengon shoves him roughly aside, and one of the other klengons pins Bob's arms behind his back. The klengon leader stalks back and forth amid his men, shouting unintelligibly. While he paces he flexes his neck side to side and shakes his thin, puny arms. He shakes his arms so hard, in fact, that they detach from his shoulders.

Without hesitation one of his men kneels before him, arms outstretched. A klengon grabs hold of each arm, pulling mightily till they too are detached, then traded to the leader. Rearmed the leader flexes his brawny borrowed biceps, grabs a wicker shield and strides toward Creature's crew. His squad flanks him, nine AWOL klengons in all, and Bob the fighter frog-marched ahead of them.¹

"I am Tumek the Heartless," barks the leader, slapping a jagged scar on his chest, the mark of a failed heck'bad. "You dare slander the mothers of the House Rannuf? I will slay you where you stand!"

wulfgar

"Yo..Momma...so...dumb..make..me..look..smart"

Intiative:1
Attack:91% HIT
Damage:13
Save:21% SAVE

Max

The klengon squad and your gang form two lines about 20' apart. In the center Creature and Tumek circle each other warily. The two fighters lunge for each other in the same instant, each catching the other's blow on his shield. Tumek rocks back, bobbing and weaving, waiting for a chance to duck in under Creature's reach.

[take 2 hp damage]

[EDIT: take NO damage. Per EC p22: Saving Throws of less than half the needed value = no damage!]

wulfgar

"Yo.momma..so..fat..go..on..all..lard.diet.....lose..5..pounds"

Creature continues his momma jokes in an effort to distract the Klengon from the deadly task at hand. Getting in close with his shield he attempts to stomp on the foe's foot.

Attack: 36% HIT
Damage: 9
Save: 97% FAIL

Do you want me to reroll initiative each round or just play on?

Rondo

"Hey! Somethin' stinks around here...smells like a Klengon Porta Potty!" with that Buck jumps any additional Klengon from the gang using his makeshift club.

Initiative: 8 (not sure if we apply bonus...if so, please do so)
Attack: 9 (way successful..finally)
Damage: 1 + 2 = 3
Save: 43% (missed)

Max

wulfgar
Do you want me to reroll initiative each round or just play on?

[First round was a tie so we'll reroll this round. Once we've got an order we'll stick with it]

Rondo
"Hey! Somethin' stinks around here...smells like a Klengon "Porta Potty"!", with that Buck jumps any additional Klengon from the gang using his makeshift club.

[Right now the klengons and your crew are separated into two lines, with Creech and Tumek slugging it out in the middle. Buck would have to charge the Klengon line to attack one of them. That your plan?]

Rondo

(nah...I'll just stand like a bump on a log)

wulfgar

Initiative for Creature: -2

Max

Feinting a leg kick the klengon springs forward with a superman punch, but mistimes it. Creature bobs to the side and stomps down hard with his square boot....

...leaving only a size 13 footprint in the dust. Tumek evades the stomp with ease and backs away again, circling Creature. The klengon bares his teeth in a wicked grin.

[Initiative is now set, advantage Tumek]

wulfgar

"Yo..Momma..so..ugly...no..need..mask..for..hallow.een"

Creature feints another stomp, and then slams forward with a head but.

Attack: 56% HIT
Damage: 13
Save: 57% FAIL

Max

As Creature lunges forward Tumek springs up and catches him with a flying knee! Creature is rocked but wraps his free arm around the klengon and flings him to the ground. Tumek rolls to his feet and raises his guard.

[take 9 HP damage, ouch. Leaves you at 5, I believe. This is non-lethal damage, but you'll need to roll Survival + your STR score to fight on below 0 HP. -16 is fatal.]

wulfgar

"Yo..Momma..so..smelly..even..you.notice"

Attack: 4% HIT
Damage: 8
Save: 13% SAVE

Creature feints high to get the Klengon's shield up and then snaps off a kick to the knee.

Rondo

(Get him Creech! Shove his elbow up his butt!)

Max

The klengon throws a few short jabs but Creature backs out of his range. Creature feints an overhand right, but Tumek isn't fooled. The klengon blocks the kick with his shield and throws his weight forward, trying to upend the 'stein. Creature hops on his back leg once, twice, finds his footing, and thrusts back on the shield with his kicking leg, knocking Tumek to the ground. Once again the klengon rolls to his feet, but more slowly this time.

While Tumek and Creature battle, Buck notices that Rokem Sokem is acting a little odd. The boxing droid rolls in tight circles on its single tire, and its optical sensors blink rapidly. The LED readouts on Rokem's chest plate begin to glow red...

"I CAN NOT TAKE IT ANYMORE LET ME AT THEM I WILL KNOCK THEIR BLOCKS OFF I WILL MURDERIZE THEM"

Coffee

Zarko notices this, also, and moves in to intervene.

I have a Machine Friend of 40, so I'm gonna try that first: 72. Okay, maybe not.

In that case, I'm gonna try to 'aim' Rockemsockem at the most dangerous looking Klengon over there, so if he goes off, we might get lucky and take out a real dangerous one.

Max

Zarko fails to find a calming toggle or vari-mood dial on the 'droid, but is able to aim it for the meanest looking klengon. Rokem Sokem begins to spin side to side on it's vertical axle. A tin whistle pops out of a hatch on its shoulder, wailing like a far-off locomotive.

wulfgar

"Yo..momma..so..hairy..when..you.was.kid...lost..in..her..armpit....FOUR..days"

Creature plows into the Klengon with his shield and tries to knock him off his feet.

Attack: 96% HIT
Damage: 10
Save: 40 SAVE

Max

Stepping back out of reach the klengon crouches low. When Creature charges in with his shield Tumek leaps to the side, flinging sand in Creature's face. As the frankenstein lumbers past Tumek elbows him in the neck.

"Yield, man-thing! Kneel before me and I may spare you."

[2 HP damage.]

wulfgar

Annoyed at the sand, Creature thinks he may have hit on a Momma joke that will strike a nerve with the Klengon..

"Yo.momma..so..honorable......broken.down..doxy..teach..her.be..ladylike!"

Not that creature is going to snitch on the guy for cheating, but he wonders if the cameras/refs saw that fling sand in the eyes move. Isn't sand an illegal weapon?

Sucking it up and taking it like a man, or morelike the composite of several dead men, Creature feigns a bit greater exhaustion then he is really feeling and stumbles to one knee. When the hopefully enraged and reckless Klengon comes in to finish him off, Creature will punch him in the junk.

Attack: 27% HIT
Damage: 8
Saving Throw: 88% FAIL

Rondo

Buck folds his arms laughing at this entire spectacle gone awry. If Buck notices anyone starting to engage any of the party in combat, he'll act...otherwise, I suppose I'll sit tight and observe for a bit.

Max

wulfgar
Not that creature is going to snitch on the guy for cheating, but he wonders if the the cameras/refs saw that fling sand in the eyes move. Isn't sand an illegal weapon?

[Apparently not. And besides, since when do the refs ever see any dirty tricks the heel pulls?]

wulfgar
Annoyed at the sand, Creature thinks he may have hit on a Momma joke that will strike a nerve with the Klengon. "Yo.momma..so..honorable......brokendown..doxy..teach..her.be..ladylike!*"

"My mother was a stone-faced killer, you vile cadaver! Haaaiii!" rages Tumek. The klengon charges as Creature lowers his head, landing another knee full in the face. Blood pours from the frankenstein's nose even as he wallops the klengon in the crotch, crushing all hopes for the future of the House Rannuf like eggshells filled with jelly**.

Tumek gasps and passes out...but Creature wobbles too...

[take 9 HP, Creature, putting you at -6. To stay conscious you'll need to roll Survival + your STR score; this is optional.]

*[My, such big words. I'm tempted to charge you a hit point for the mental strain...]

**[Yeah, I sort of grossed myself out with this too.]

wulfgar

Creature struggles to his feet, snarls at his fallen foe, flashes Buck a big thumbs up, and then falls right over backwards....out cold.

Surival+Strenght= 57 Roll=69% FAIL

Coffee

Zarko looks over at Buck.

"Well," he says, "I'm broke. No sense getting killed, too. You coming?"

And with that, Zarko starts to sidle off toward the exit. He's keeping an eye on the Klengons, though.

Max

[quick clarification for Buck & Zarko: Creature is unconscious but not dead. Brawl damage is subdual unless you run up against a fighter with an illegal weapon]

Rondo

"Wow!"....Buck runs over to Creature slapping him lightly on the face, "C'mon kid...snap out of it," Buck turns to Zarko, "Hey, we need some water here...see any anyplace?"

Buck watches Zarko heading away..."Hmm...too far away"...Buck starts looking for some water around him...a bucket, a bottle, a soft drink...anything....he continues to slap Creech...."That was amazing kid! Wake up...! C'mon!"

Max

No one offers you any water. What's a Pioneer to do?

[Give me a Restore Courage roll though, and an Unpleasant Order from Wulfgar.]

wulfgar

Restore Courage: 37% FAIL
Unpleasant Order: 58% SUCCESS

Rondo

Ha! Touche....I'm an idiot....
Restore Courage: 3% (passed with flying colors)
(Water) Explore: 73% (failed)

Max

[I was looking for Provide, Rondo, but that roll doesn't cut it either way.]

Coffee

[Okay, so, knocked out isn't out? What about Darryl? Will he be coming back?

[Because I'm like totally confused now.]

Under this new understanding of the basic laws of reality, Zarko does his best to jack a canteen of water from one of the Klengons I was sidling past. What the hell; rock and roll.

Max

[Quoting Adam Savage of Mythbusters, "I reject your reality and substitute my own!" The thing is, Creech is a trained Warrior and was knocked out but only just. Darryl is a klutzy wimp with daddy issues who's watched Rocky LXII* one too many times, and was darn near choked to death to boot.

[I guess what I'm going for, simulation-wise (>>snerk, ha!<<) is the way a fighter gets his bell rung, or even gets knocked out for a bit, and can stagger back to his feet.] * Rocky LXII is notable for bringing back the cybernetic ghost of Sylvester Stallion for his final reprisal of the part.

Max

Is there hope yet to bring Creature back around? Will Buck find water? Will Zarko steal some? Is Rokem Sokem about to blow his stack? All will be revealed....

------------------------
¹ Boy that's a lot of awkwardly written business just to work in Tumek's detachable limbs mutation.