Monday, December 29, 2008

Grappling and Other Fancy Combat Maneuvers

(I think I've finally figured grappling out to my satisfaction. Aside from the part where I wonder if these rules are needed at all, that is. Your thoughts are welcome.)

When you make an Attack or Saving Throw it can be described any way you want, but the only mechanical effects are those told by the dice: You may well be a whirlwind of flashing steel slicing through enemy necks. You might escape death by inches, turning aside a killing spear thrust with the force of your chic chi parasol. And when it comes to the slingshot you may as well have ten thumbs and astigmatism for all your luck hitting the broad side of a battle cruiser. But in game terms that just means that your sword hit for 10 points of damage; you saved for half damage, and your sling bullet missed.

If you want more lasting mechanical effects, you can try combining your Attack or Save rolls with other abilities: A Psi-Knight might combine a Melee Attack with Command Matter in an attempt to disarm his opponent. A Doxy might Seduce a foe into Saving her by Throwing himself in front of a charging rhinoceratops -- if she makes her Seduce and Saving Throw her victim takes the damage.

One case of this is grappling, submission holds, wrestling throws and so forth. You start a grapple by stating your intention to restrain your opponent, then rolling a Melee Attack* combined with a Feat roll. If your Attack roll fails there is no grapple. If both Attack and Feat roll are successful you have grabbed hold of your foe! The foe gets to defend with an opposed Feat roll, which doubles as a Saving Throw for purposes of damage.

If both grapplers make Lesser Feat rolls they cancel each other out in the struggle for dominance, but the better success (lower roll) can make an unarmed Melee Attack on the other. The Feat roll still doubles as a Saving Throw.

If both grapplers fail Lesser Feat rolls neither can make an Attack roll but either can choose to step out of the grapple and flee, resume normal melee, etc.

If one attacker succeeds at a Lesser Feat and the other fails, he can immobilize his opponent or make an unarmed Melee Attack. If he was previously immobilized he can break his opponent's hold. In all cases, if grappling continues he gets to subtract his Strength score from next round's Feat roll.

If either combatant rolls a Great Feat they may automatically hit with a melee attack (no roll needed) or perform a more spectacular maneuver such as a body slam, suplex, throw, etc. This is based on the character's stated intention at the beginning of the round. If they haven't stated a special combat move they may only take the automatic melee attack. JM adjudicates the results, especially in cases where both fighters make a Great Feat roll.

Creative fighters may find other abilities such as Sneak Attack, Sneak, etc useful in grappling but that is up to the player to suggest and JM to adjudicate.

* OK, smart guy, or a Missile Attack for those of you armed with lassos, bola constrictors, rubberband lazers, etc.

Monday, December 22, 2008

777 Gods of Vanth

Conventional wisdom holds that God City is so called because the Vulkins who opened Vanth to Galactic commerce posed as angels and divine beings in their dealings with the benighted natives. "Technology came to Vanth when the Vulkin Star Empire established a starport there to begin trading, but they were careful to present themselves as supernatural visitors from the heavens, and the starport is known as God City," writes Henry Riley in the Vanthian history Encounter Critical.

However, as Riley goes on to note, "nobody really believes God City is the home of 'angels' anymore." Yet the name persists. One reason for this must surely be the influence of the Institute for Deist, Immortalistic, Omniscientific and Theological Studies -- the IDIOTS. Founded during the height of Galactic trade with Vanth, the Institute sent exploring scholars to gather sacred texts and relics from across the face of Vanth. In so doing the Institute itself became a place of pilgrimage for both the devious and the devout, who sought in equal numbers to con and to convert the scholars. In due time an entire temple district sprang up, centered on the IDIOTS, such that 777 gods are said to live in God City.

It's my hope to compile a list of all of these gods in their hundredfold glory, beginning with the few below. I welcome any contributions my readers might have in the field of Vanthian religious studies as well. Please post any information on gods, demigods, godlings, Great Old Ones, sentient AIs, genius loci, legendary heroes and household saints in the comments and I will compile them in a master list.

1. Arugulon, The Green Giant.
2. Bongo
3. The Century Toad, who dwells in the hollow core of Vanth, or so some say (cf. Great Writhing Wormhole).
4. Conical Lint Creature, the Sleeper in the Darkness Beneath the Bed.
5. Count Worbinu, god of vampires and vorvons.
6. Esquivel
7. The Great Writhing Wormhole, the howling space-time vortex said to dance mindlessly at the center of Vanth. Placated by its worshippers with horrifying rituals of jazz flute. Repudiated by the followers of the Century Toad (cf.)
8. Hodgmozandias, Who Invents All Facts and Despairs. Patron saint of encyclopedeists, trivialiers, and liars.
9. Huron the Oathsome, barbarian godling.
10. Jubilex the Squishy
11. Phlugg
12. Smelt, War God of the Deep, He Who Came From Beyond the Stars to Spawn in the Sea; rogue klengon fish god.
13. Sun Ra and his Myth-Science Arkestra.
14. Manos, The Hand or Hands of Fate (see footnote in Comments section below).
15. TX-47 Beta, prototype Artificial Omniscience.
16. Voola & Kinos, the ur-vulkins. Though revered, the First Mother and First Father are not worshipped by more than a handful of defiantly illogical vulkins. Most vulkins regard them as a foundational myth rather than historical figures. However, several cargo cults centered on the pair sprang up in the wake of the Vulkin Star Empire's first contact with savage Vanth.
17. Zabu the Immodest
18. ZZZy, the Penultimate God.
19. Kitt Hatare, goddess of cats and temptation [Peace be upon her]
20. The Dude, He Who...well, surely you know.
21. Xagyg the Trickster (about whom see comment below)
22. The Egg of Coot, "...a giant thickly hided egg, pure energy....that...carries out its activities through the use of surrogates which it controls or has programmed." Scholars vehemently deny that Xagyg and the Egg are one and the same, though it is acknowledged that their sects overlap.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Watch out all you rock an' rollers...

Some news and notes...You'll probably have noticed two new faces by now. We've had some changes to our roster, with two new players joining us! Tavis will be playing the warrior Thorax, and Jonathan will run Oolak, apish Psi-Knight. Welcome aboard fellas!

Sadly, Dr Rotwang has left the game, overburdened as he is with running PbEM games at work and workshopping new stand-up routines. I mock him out of love; Quazarn and his antics will be missed.

In general news, I've added blog post and comment feed links to the sidebar, which make for a handy way to keep up with the game. That said, at the moment we have a player with a busted internet connection and another moving, and the looming holidays as well. Understandable if posting is a bit light over the next week or two. Spare a post when you can, and Bog bless you, every one!

Oolak, Level 1

Player’s Name: Jonathan

Character: Oolak
Class: Galactic Knight Apprentice aka Psi Witch
Current Level: 1
Race: Planetary Ape – Mutated (2)
Mutations: Crinkly Skin; Magic Birthmark Companion

ADA: 7
DEX: 13
ESP: 17
INT: 7
LEA: 7
LUC: 10
MAG: 10
ROB: 11
STR: 9

Hit Points: 12

Missile Damage Bonus: +2

Lbs. of Psychic Force: 1


Alchemist: 19%
Appease: 38%
Argue: 34%
Blind Attack: 34%
Camping: 23%
Clue: 19%
Command: 59%
Command Energy: 53%
Command Matter: 52%
Conjure: 3%
Consume Alien: 3%
Crowd Manipulate: 35%
Enrich: 19%
Ensorcel: 74%
Experience Bonus: 2%
Great Feat: 13%
Guard: 53%
Happenstance: 21%
Invisibility: 49%
Labor: 70%
Lesser Feat: 61%
Logic: 49%
Machine Friend: 28%
Magical Attack: 23%
Meld: 50%
Melee Attack: 45%
Missile Attack: 64%
Mistaken Identity: 13%
Monster Friend: 24%
Psi Resist: 37%
Psychic Implant: 47%
Read Minds: 51%
Restore Courage: 40%
Saving Throw: 51%
Scholarship: 19%
Seduce: 20%
See the Future: 8%
Sneak: 45%
Sneak Attack: 48%
Steal: 23%
Survival: 40%
Unpleasant Order: 50%


Dagger Damage: 1-4 Range: ½” Scare: 17%
Mace, Greater Damage: 1-6 Range: 1-1/2” Scare: 31%


Small Bow Damage: 1-6 Short: 9” Long: 45” Minus: 6%


Gold Credits: 103

Wilderness Garb, Utility Belt with Pouches, Canteen, 60’ Rope, Lantern, Camping Gear, 1 Week Rations

Thorax, Level 1

Name: Thorax
Race: Human
Class: Warrior
Level: 1

Mutations: Cranial Feelers

ADA: 13
DEX: 12
ESP: 9
INT: 7
LEA: 8
LUC: 13
MAG: 4
ROB: 14
STR: 18

HP: 16
Melee Damage +8
Missile Damage: +2
XP: 50
Bare Hands Damage: 1-6
GCs: 0

Alchemist: 8%
Appease: 56%
Argue: 34%
Camping: 63%
Clue: 29%
Command: 41%
Command Energy: 18%
Command Matter: 14%
Conjure: -3%
Consume Alien: 10%
Crowd Manipulate: 16%
Enrich: 24%
Ensorcel: 15%
Experience Bonus: 1%
Great Feat: 41%
Guard: 69%
Happenstance: 28%
Invisibility: 78%
Labor: 92%
Lesser Feat: 100%
Logic: 35%
Machine Friend: 40%
Magical Attack: 6%
Melee Attack: 111%
Missile Attack: 59%
Mistaken Identity: 16%
Monster Friend: 10%
PSI Resist: 10%
Psychic Implant: 7%
Read Minds: 20%
Restore Courage: 21%
Saving Throw: 18% (28% save by shield)
Scholarship: -1%
Seduce: 0%
See the Future: 2%
Sneak: 20%
Sneak Attack: 42%
Steal: 19%
Survival: 42%
Unpleasant Order: 70%

EQUIPMENT: Dual-Bladed Psi-Knight Saber Hilt (broken, used as black hole metal club), wilderness gear (too small), modern grenade, iron-shod shield.

INOPERABLE EQUIPMENT: power lighter, witch indicator, self-adjusting trephanation kit, pan-species prophylactic.

Dual-Bladed Psi-Knight Saber Hilt stats: DAMAGE: 2-12; RANGE 1"; SCARE 28%
Modern Grenade stats: DAMAGE: 1-12; RANGE hurl; -10% per 1”


ESCAPED FROM THE RADIUM MINES OF THE NETHERWORLD! Inside, where no one can see, Thorax sheds a tear for his parents. Alas, Mandible and Ovipositor were too afraid of the Great Sky Light to join him in his desperate break for freedom. But they taught their son well: always tell the truth, obey the insectile overlords, call all men brothers despite whatever hideous mutations the glowing ore has blessed them with. Someday, Thorax will re-enter the cracks in the mountains near God City from which he crawled into the light, and he will set his people free.

TAUGHT BY THE GREATEST OF PSI-KNIGHTS! Thorax always knew he wanted more than the waxy but filling scrapings from an overlord's dermal gland. But he had no idea what more there was to want until Razbap, Mind-Master of the Dual Blades, crashed down from the surface world through the roof of a mine tailing chamber. The fall sorely injured the mighty knight, who ordered the amazed Thorax to keep his distance lest he be consumed by the psionic transference of pain. The young slave took every opportunity to return to the chamber and learn from the crippled master. He eagerly absorbed the lore of the surface world, the potent tricks of the psi-knights, and most eagerly of all the seven highly effective routes to stimulate female desire. He learned, too, to weave his cranial feelers into his dreadlocks and pass for normal. Eventually the day came when Razbap had nothing more to teach his student, and bid him climb towards the light. Thorax refused to go without the wounded psi-knight--only to discover that all this time, nothing truly remained of Razbap but a pile of his clothing and gear. Thorax had been instructed… from beyond the grave!

BROKE AND DESPERATE! Thorax has no gold credits to his name. Shortly after emerging, blinking, into the world under the sky he was accosted by a group of ruffians who insisted that he repay them a large sum of said credits. This case of mistaken identity, brought about by Thorax's having donned Razbap's characteristic gear, thoroughly confused the ruffians (especially as they noted that the clothes were obviously the wrong size for the hulking human). Thorax was similarly confused by the persistence of these aggressors in not yielding to his mental dominance. Eventually the situation degenerated into violence, to the great relief of all involved. Thrashing the thugs reassured Thorax a great deal, but the truth is that he hasn't eaten for days and is beginning to realize how thoroughly he is out of his element.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The Brawl: Thugs to the Left of Us, Bruisers to the Right...

...Here We are, Stuck in the Middle Again

Buck and Zarko don't have much time to gloat over the fallen giant, and Creature's thirst goes unquenched. Their crew of fighters is hemmed in on all sides by some of the meanest looking hombres left in the arena. Bob the Fighter, Leeplo the Man-Frog and Schleppy the Tote-Golem have fallen, along with most of the new recruits who joined you overnight.

Buck, Zarko, Creature and Hobson stand back to back in a shrinking ring of fighters. Suddenly there's a break in the gauntlet! Brawlers are flung aside as a new challenger barrels through the line. He's either a stretched dwarf or a squashed ogre, a ginger-bearded brute wearing a sateen jacket and and a cocky sneer. Gold chains and a silver trumpet hang from his neck.

"Ok you, bridesmaids, the rehearsal's over. Let's see how you do against a real man." Jabbing his thumb into his chest, he continues, "Me!

Aarn, Son of Aarn.

I don't mean to toot my own horn...but toot, toot." He raises the trumpet to his mouth and gives forth a piercing blast, then lets it fall to his bear-like chest. Grinning wickedly he drags his thumb slowly across his neck.

Aarn, Son of Aarn from a suggestion by the inestimable Jeff Rients

Sunday, December 14, 2008

The multiplex moons of Vanth crowd overhead...

Notes on a few of the moons, planetoids, space islands and shipwrecks orbiting Vanth.

Altostratus Aeries of the Hawk-Men: Battleflights of the Blessed. 'Nuff Said.

Sun Ra with the Organum CosmicThe Ark of the Sun: The Myth-Sonic Space Ark of the demigod Sun Ra, trapped in a null-sound field by his ancient enemy the Overseer. Audio technicians conjecture that the proper quadraphonic array might be used to free the Ark.

Omnibrow of the Vorvon!Citadel Carcosa: A floating citadel built from black and green stone mined in unknown quarries, inhabited by mad scientists, demonologists, cryo-lich warlocks and vorvons. Their society, such as it is, centers on the pursuit of obscure ingredients needed for their weird rites, eldritch wizardries and controversial child-rearing practices. Also, they are cannibals (with apologies to Geoffrey McKenna).

The Midas Fleet and the Second Golden Planet: A legendary planetoid made entirely of gold, orbited by the remains of the Midas Fleet who sought to exploit it. A vast, unguarded treasure floating in space, but sages warn that none may touch planet or ships without also turning to gold. (swiped from Ryan North's Dinosaur Comics, particularly the alt-text.)

Weed Man of Thool, wriggling its sticky budsUltiMax Thool:
One of the galaxy's most notorious prisons, carved from the sentient skull of a Greater Void Dragon, your basic hive of scum, villainy, weed-men, boar-tuskers and brain bankers. Towed into Vanth orbit by slime pirates, who have long since abandoned their Petri Saucers but are said still to rove the high atmosphere (vide Scott Driver's Thool & Wilderlands).

Days of the Week, Vanth


SARFFday is shortened from "it'S All Right For Fighting Day." Moonday is the start of the week and each new month. Debate rages in scholarly arenas over which moon is honored by Moonday, since at last count Vanth had 76 moons and planetoids in orbit, to say nothing of the asteroids, half-built destruct-orbs, cloud cities and floating citadels that crowd the night sky. Thus the isolation of Vanth since the failure of the galactic nav-beam: without assistance only the most agile of pilots dare try to navigate through the maze. Most who have risked it have wrecked, the drifting hulks of their ships becoming part of the orbital debris.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

What the How?

Seems a little slow ramping things up here at our new demesnes. Hopefully you've all got the blog in subscribed in your feeds? In addition, make sure to subscribe to the comments of the current play thread with the link next to comments box at the bottom of the page. My plan is to use the comments section for ongoing play, occasionally making a new blog post when it seems appropriate.

If you have any questions or suggestions, leave a comment. Otherwise I hope each of you can check in on the Against the Giant thread before the weekend. It'd be cool to get a little bit of gameplay in before the holidays.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Come all ye roving gamblers!

Hey dudes, welcome back to the game!

This is just a quick OOC post to mention some plans for the blog:
  • copying, pasting and editing previous gameplay and posting here
  • adding posts for character creation, houserules, and game procedures
  • posting the odd bit of setting detail that comes to mind
If there's anything you'd like to see let me know.

The Brawl: Against the Giant

PLAY-BY-PLAY ANNOUNCER: ...Everything's golden with Newton's Own Philosopher Stone!

COLOR COMMENTATOR: It sure in't golden for The Creature and his boys though Bob. They're gettin' clobbered out there!

PLAY-BY-PLAY ANNOUNCER: They certainly are, Clubber. He's had a strong showing for a first-time fighter, but it looks like the Frankenstein from the North is on his last legs. He may have met his match in Mini-Magog.

COLOR COMMENTATOR: I'll tell ya, with giants the short ones are the meanest.

PLAY-BY-PLAY ANNOUNCER: And Creature can't count on backup from his crew either. They are surrounded. It looks like the other top contenders are making a coordinated move while they're busy with the giant and the Elf Mauler Scholars. It's unusual to see such a large crew, isn't it Clubber?

COLOR COMMENTATOR: Yeah, but the thing is they ain't done much. That Creech and his main boys have done almost alla the fightin'! I don't care how tough you are, ya gotta de-luh-gate a little.

PLAY-BY-PLAY ANNOUNCER: Well the whole crew is in the thick of it now, Clubber--

COLOR COMMENTATOR: It's beat 'em down or be ground meat, Bob.

PLAY-BY-PLAY ANNOUNCER: --and they're getting beat down all right. Looks like Keyyalaypkleeplo--

COLOR COMMENTATOR: Say that three times in a hurry.

PLAY-BY-PLAY ANNOUNCER: --It's Leeplo for short, and he's down, along with the homonculus Schleppy the Tote-Golem and Croakwattle Dan the Lizard Man. Here's a fighter we we haven't seen before! Now where did he come from?



Suddenly and without preamble, a slick dude with a zoot suit and a suspiciously tall hat pops out of thin air! It's this guy!

"You fellows," he says in a familiar voice, "will not believe the day I've had." As his friends stare at him dumbstruck, he says...

"It's me! QUAZARN!"

"NEVER," he adds, "trust a doxy in a pants suit," and without a word more he charges Mini-Magog and bops him in his middle nose. The giant grunts softly, then smiles. Grabbing a hand full of collar and a pant leg the giant picks up his new attacker, spins twice, and tosses him over Creature's head. How high would a fly guy fly if a fly guy could fly high? The question's moot: zoot suit lands on his snoot.

The giant continues spinning into a whirling dervish punch, trying to take out The Creature as well but he loses his balance, sprawling in a heap in front of his Frankenstein foe...

['s your move Wulf.]

Meanwhile Buck faces down Professor Pain, the elf struggling to his feet after catching the sharp end of a elbow in the neck. Before the Prof can stand Buck taps him gently with his club and he crumples like a bad report card. Buck spins around. "Any other stupid elf dipshit in target range?" he thinks. The orangutan Philimon's just gut-punched one of the others, but the Head Masher's just knocked out Bob the Fighter!

Zarko, as is his wont, lurks near Creature. If the sudden appearance of Quazarn was startling, he's downright baffled when he notices Hobson Twofoot standing next to him. Zarko's head hurt like hell, and the laws of space and time seemed to have called in sick. Just another day in Vanth.

Monday, November 17, 2008

The Brawl: Mini-Magog and the Elven Mauler Scholars

After a quiet night trouble finds our fearless few once again. On one side is a runty tricephaloid giant, on the other side are three elf wrestlers working a PhD angle. Coffee break's over.


Buck, at first, starts grinning at the 3 headed micro-giant heading towards him, that should grow in perspective, but instead shrinks as he moves towards the party. Then he hears the elves in mortar boards, spins and takes in their proclamation of 'ass kicking being in session,' and bursts out laughing. Buck is gonna attempt to grab and lift one of the PhD. elves over his head in order to chuck him at the giant when the giant is on top of us.

(I rolled a 4 on my hit point restore a second ago)
Attack: 46%
Damage: not sure what to roll, if any
Save: 22% (missed by a point, I think)


[Sounds awe-some, dude. This is a grapple, so we'll count that 46% as a Feat roll. The elf gets to oppose with his own Feat roll.

[In order to pick him and throw him you'll need to succeed with a Great Feat. In order to pick him and throw him *at the giant* you'll need to succeed at, hmmm, two Great Feats. The giant and the elves are a ways away from each other, so you'll have to carry the elf for awhile to get within elf-chucking range.


Buck picks the Elf up like a ragdoll, I think...I rolled an 8% for the first Great Feat! As I walk to chuck him, I roll a 71 % for the second Great Feat, which I'm hoping means he gets chucked elbows over ass, but I think I missed the 'giant.'


Zarko takes a coffee and pops the lid off of the to-go cup. He sips it idly as he walks over and studies the elves.

He smirks, as if these guys won't be too tough to beat at all.

Then he throws the coffee in the face of one of them (I'm leaning toward the Head Masher here, but I don't know which one Buck grabbed), upon whom he then launches a Sneak Attack.

Initiative (+4): 14
Sneak Attack (62): 08 (!)
Damage (+0): 1
Saving Throw (37): 95 (I'm so screwed...)


Creature chugs a couple coffees and waits to see if the elves and the giant come to hurt us or help us.

Never mind, they seem hostile.

Attack: 34% Hit
damage: 10
Save: 21% make

Creature throat punches the giant.


Zarko's got a cunning plan, but Head Masher knows a thing or two about dirty tricks. He blocks the coffee cup with one hand, yelling as the scalding coffee burns his arm, and brushes aside the ape's sucker punch. The elf clinches with Zarko, and grinds his knuckles brutally against the ape's temple. He's able to squirm loose of the elf wrestler, but he can barely see straight.

[10 HP damage. When you get a noogie from The Head Masher, you feel it.

[As before, when you Sneak Attack a wary opponent they get a chance to Guard, and H.M. made his roll. But I gave you a Happenstance roll that the coffee was hot enough to be a missile weapon, so you still ended up hurting him.]

Buck isn't quite as quick as Zarko. Before he can grab his man the elves set up for some fancy maneuvers of their own. Doctor Dropkick drops to all fours, and Professor Pain vaults onto his back. Leaping off in a move known to students of Elf Championship Wrasslin' as the Deconstructor, he plunges toward Buck in a pre-emergent paradox of postmodern punching power. Lucky for Buck, the professor's calculations are off and he sails right overhead, belly-flopping in the dust.

Buck grabs the fallen elf and tries to hoist him over his back in a fireman's carry. At first the elf rolls free, but Buck gets hold of him again and heaves him onto his shoulders. The elf thrashes wildly as Buck staggers toward the giant, peppering Buck with rabbit punches. Buck struggles and hurls the elf -- he's well short of the giant, but he slams down the elf with a satisfying thud.

[Take 5 HP from punches -- you can make a Saving Throw as normal. Roll your attack damage for tossing the elf on his head d3 and, what the heck, add +2 for missile damage].


Creature throat punches the giant.

a Ral Partha classicEach of the giant's heads roars as it approaches:
"Fee Fi..."
"...Fo Fine..."
"...I smell...I smell..."
"It's 'the blood of a frankenstein,' you numskull."
"BLOOD!! I smell BLOOD!!"

'Stein and giant charge each other and the two heavyweights trade mighty blows. Flexing his Adam's apple in a fearsome display of manliness, Creature punches the giant in the stomach with his own throat. The giant grunts, his pot belly rippling with the blow, and counters with fists and feet. Creature catches a fist on his shield, and spins away from a kick. The giant swings down a second fist...

[Need an extra Saving Throw from you here, and then you can fill in what happens to Creature based on whether he takes full, half or no damage (saving against 2 hp damage, so it's not a crushing blow).

[Mini-Magog attacks 3/round, so go ahead and give me 3 Saves when you fight him.

[Did you ever roll for HP healed overnight, Wulf? You get back d4. And take 2 HP from the Giant's fist gonging off your shield, plus whatever his second punch deals.


Save: 11% (made it.)
Damage on the elf: 3

Am I within range of the giant since he's ontop of Creech? Just curious.


[Sure, but the elf wrestler you tossed is between you and Mini-Magog.

[I rolled initiative for Buck & Creech for that last round. Could you each roll when you take your actions for this next round? (Zarko's roll of 14 stays as it is)]


Healed 3 Hit points.

Missed my saving throw with a 63%.

Creature takes a blow to the head that sprains one of his cranial feelers and makes him bite his own tounge.



3 total on initiative on this end....


[I'll be able to update at lunch, so if you dudes get a chance let me know your next move, attack rolls, damage, etc.

[General Note: I've been letting you guys take center stage, with your posse mostly standing around, but in case it's not clear you can think of them as henchmen. Feel free to interact with 'em and give orders, etc.]


"Don't just stand there!" Zarko roars, backing away from the elf and pointing at him. "This is the audience participation part of the show, guys! Get him!"

(Zarko is badly hurt, but not out yet. I'm hoping my boys will take care of the creep. I'm going on full defensive this round, though.)

Save (37%): 48

Or, y'know, not.


Creature spews hot coffee in the face of the giant.

Attack: 32% HIT
Damage: ???? What does hot coffee in the face do? Hopefully scald his eyeballs!
Saving throws: 82,3,83 Made 1, missed the other 2.


[By spew d'you mean spitting coffee in his face? Cos if it's hot enough to scald his eyes it's hot enough to burn yo tongue...]


Yes, I mean summon the coffee within me that I just drank, up my esophogus and out my mouth. My thinking is that while it may be scalding to a giant's eyeballs, it might just be a nice warm drink to the digestive system of a Frankenstein.

Unpleasant Order: 34% Made
Feat: 79% Made lesser, missed Greater

Do those help?




[How can I argue with that?]

"I've killed five--" "No, it's seven, you jackass." "How many times do we have to tell you? It's seven men with a single blow." Mini-Magog seems surprised that Creature hasn't fallen before his giantly might. He throws three more distracted punches, and looks very peevish when not a one of them connects.

Peevish doesn't even begin to describe the look on his face when Creature barfs on him. He dodges away from the worst of it, but when the acidic brew spew begins sizzling away at the gold medallions on his chest all three heads scream in rage!

[Lessee, can't really give you a strength bonus here, so here ya go: roll d6 twice and take the higher for damage. Don't think you can make Bulimic Brawling a habit though, lest you suffer Deluxe Acid Reflux Deliquescence]


6 damage for the Java Vomit attack. (rolled a 2 and a 6)


(Take that you 3-stooges-headed-mofo!!)

I'll try to grab the nearest elf by the collar and nail him in the face as hard as I can.

Attack: 5% (ouch for him!)
Damage: 3 rolled
Save: 18% (made it again! I can't believe it)


When Buck reaches down to drag the elf to his feet, the crafty wrestler grabs his arms and boots Buck in the stomach. The elf tries to launch him with an airplane kick but Buck manages to pull his arms free. When Professor Pain scrambles to his feet Buck taps him with a jab.

[Buck takes 3 HP damage]

"Don't just stand there!" Zarko roars, backing away from the elf and pointing at him. "This is the audience participation part of the show, guys! Get him!"

Despite the burning pain of his head-mashing Zarko keeps his battle advantage. Stalwart Bob the Fighter moves to stand between Zarko and the Masher, and the ape retreats to safety.

The Head-Masher throws himself at Bob, eager to punish his insolence. They crash into each other, but neither fighter lands a telling blow. Meanwhile, Malone roars up to Doctor Dropkick like a freight train fueled by cuss words...and gets his potty mouth shut by a boot to the face. Malone goes out like a f*&#ing light.

The grizzled orangutan Philimon steps over the cyclopean, moving in warily. He bobs and weaves from side to side, darts in with a low kick, but misses.


I'm gonna try stompin' his face in...
Attack: 20% (made it)
Damage: 4
Save: 64% (missed)


Zarko is pretty much knocked around, so he'll be avoiding any specific fighting unless he absolutely has to get involved. So he'll hang around the fringes of the fights and make suggestions to those who are still hale and hearty.


Buck and the Professor slug it out toe-to-toe. The elf lands a stinging palm strike to Buck's chest, but the spacer steps back and delivers a solid head kick. The Professor's mortarboard goes flying off, but the elf shakes his head and raises his fists.

Meanwhile Bob and Philimon continue battling the other two-thirds of the School of Pain. Bob catches a backhand, but Doctor Dropkick misses a fancy double kick and ends up sprawling. Taking full advantage of a brachiator's reach, Philimon wallops him in the gut, knocking the wind out of him.

Zarko doesn't have much time for kibbitzing. Leeplo the Man-Frog bounces up to him, croaking in panic. "Hell's br-r-r-reaking loobse, Zar-r-r-ko!"

Sure enough, fighters are moving in on all sides. One of the knucklehead teens who joined your crew overnight is already down....


Buck goes for an elbow to the back of the neck...
Attack: 5% (smokin' made it)
Damage: 2 (not sure if i get a bonus for anything...probably not)
Save: 90% (failed)


Professor Pain tries to clothesline Buck, but he ducks. As the elf runs past Buck swings his elbow sharply and thwacks him in the back of the head! The elf grunts and tumbles forward, down...but not out. The elf surges back to his feet, teeth clenched. His breath is ragged and his eyes are wild as he lunges for Buck's throat...

[Let's have a new initiative roll here. He went down but Survived, so you might get a chance to better your init count]

Elsewhere, big dudes clash. Creature and Mini-Magog are locked in a clinch, each straining every muscle for an advantage. With a twist M-M throws Creature to one side, lashing out with punches and a brutal knee. One punch mashes the frankenstein's ear, but Creature's swings his iron shield around to block the knee strike. With a sound like the Lost Bell of Anahat Nada* the giant's knee bwongs off the shield, bending it nearly in half.

[3 HP damage from the punch. To keep things moving I used your saving throws from this post; all of the giants attacks that round missed you anyway. The good news is the shield prevented you from taking damage from a critical hit. The bad news is it now only gives a 14% Save bonus]

*Anahat Nada, a Sulduku Hierophant known chiefly for a 27 year vow of silence broken one groggy morning when he kicked his morning alarm bell so hard as to break three toes. In despair he cast the bell into the Sea of Great Peril, from whence it has never yet been recovered.


Zarko moves as close to Creature as he can; the big guy is still my meal ticket. Any fighting I do will be in self defense or to aid Creature (or Buck, but he seems to be doing okay).

I'll call on the rest of the gang to form a tight perimeter, so we can contain the attacks against us and only present out best faces to the attackers.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Hobson & Quazarn Disappear...(One of them literally)

Not getting anywhere with the ratling Ika Norvegova, Hobson and Quazarn vamoose.

Age of Fable

The Remulaki grunts through a morbid psychometric fog, "Where oh where will my little donkey go?" With a shudder he...stands, ready to follow Hobson.

We leave.

I'll change back into police officer clothes, and hold Quazarn's arm in an 'arresting you' style, in case the robot is still out the front.


[The camera-droid, you mean? She's back at the ramp leading into the arena]

Hobson marches Quazarn out of the beer garden. The nattering of the baobabbler fades into the noise of the crowd. The hobling doesn't spot any Brawl uniforms yet, and no sign of Chief Tallbard either.

[Where to? The scene is something like a carnival midway, with concessions and souvenir stands as well as betting and viewing tents. The vendors' tents abut a low, sprawling manse; behind the house rise up the walls of the arena. The front lawn of the manse is an impromptu parking lot.]

Age of Fable

Away! I look for an exit where we can leave without attracting attention.


Pausing at a statue of a Vulkin scholar of old, Hobson hops onto the pedestal and susses his options. There's a fair amount of foot traffic to and from the parking lot. Beyond the beer garden stretches an overgrown hedge marking the boundary of the estate, continuing on beyond the manse and forming a sort of alley with the palisade like wall of the arena. Other than a few stoners swinging a censer amongst themselves there are hardly any people that way.

The guards in the towers on the arena are mostly faced inwards, watching the Brawl.

Age of Fable

Are there any taxis or public transport?


[Nope, but how Green of you to ask ;).

[You were asleep during the trip here, so you're not certain exactly where you are, but if you had to guess you'd say it was the Elvesbeard Heights, a formerly well-heeled neighborhood mostly abandoned and run-down since the galactic nav-beam failed and Vanth got cut off from the spaceways. Northern suburb of God City.]

Age of Fable

"Quazarn, can you cast some kind of don't-look-at-us spell?"


[Since the good Doc has been doing an impressive invisibility act of his own , I'll field this. As a warlock Quaz can make himself invisible using his Invisibility percentile chances. Since he's not currently the center of attention he can do this at no ability cost. He would need to use a spell to make others invisible.

[Hobson can use Invisible to blend in with the crowd and be generally inconspicuous. Sneak might also be useful, depending on what you hope to do.]

Age of Fable

OK - I ask him to render himself invisible.

If it works, I'll just walk out of here, being as inconspicuous as possible.


The warlock disappears! Erm, completely. Not only is he invisible, but completely silent, odorless and possibly incorporeal as well: Hobson touches nothing when he reaches a hand into the space where Quazarn stood an instant ago.

With a shrug, the hobling sets off, trusting the moody warlock to keep up with him.

[I made the Invisibility roll myself rather than make you wait, Fable. You out there Doc?

[Now, where exactly are you headed?]

Age of Fable

I'll have a feel around to see if I can find Quazarn.

To allay suspicion from onlookers, I'll make it look like I'm doing interpretative dance.


You draw a few curious stares. It isn't every day one sees a cop suddenly start dancing. Still no sign of the warlock though.

Age of Fable

I guess I'll just change into civilian clothes (once no one's looking at me), and walk out.


[Out could mean many things from here. The main choices obvious to Hobson are out toward the road, through the hedge to the property next door. You could also try sneaking around back.]

Age of Fable

Out towards the road.


Hobson strolls through the parking lot with hasty nonchalance. He avoids a pack of trelves, nasty customers with lightning rod javelins and silvery dead eyes, astride bat-winged jet-bikes.

The street is a tree-lined boulevard grown unkempt. The statues and fountains in the median are broken, looted or overgrown with vines. There are other mansions along the boulevard, set well back from the street. Their lawns are unmowed, grass shoulder high and gone to seed.

Age of Fable

I'm going to try and find an abandoned mansion where I can hide in the grass until Quazarn finds me, or until the Rumble ends and I can find the others.


Hobson crosses the street and ducks into the dry ditch on the other side. Still no sign of Quazarn -- no crunch on the gravel shoulder of the road, no bent stalks of grass.

Confident he's unseen the hobling does a little recon. The neighborhood was pretty ritzy, not so long ago. The nearest mansion is a rather hideous pile of pseudo-timber and brick-o-foam, sprayed and quick-set to resemble a hybrid of geodesic dome and mushroom village. Its doors and windows are boarded up. Beyond that the street curves, and a driveway leads off the street in the outer bend. The drive disappears over a low hill, but close to the road there's a squat brick carriage house just beyond a rusty gate.
What happens next to Hobson & Quazarn is so far unrevealed...both reappeared amongst their brawling broethren the next morning, but so far their tales are untold. The sudden forcible return of Quazarn to his home planet makes it unlikely that we'll ever learn how he spent his incorporeal hours.

In the case of Hobson one can speculate: perhaps he whiled away the hours playing whist with a wooky hobo, or avoiding the attentions of a robo-butler gone haywire. Perhaps while scouting the carriage house mentioned above, Hobson was set upon by two killer mockingbirds and an atticus finch, and dove into a yellow patch of flowers to hide. Safe from the birds, the flowers caused an allergic reaction and Hobson began to feel feverish and drowsy. In short, he reacted to the rue badly.

But this only the idle speculation of a pun-addled brain (Don't blame me. Blame the table of Adventure Ideas from Puns to be found here.)

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The Brawl: Keg Stands & Coffee Breaks

The wookies defeated, the lads get a few hours of rest...


You and your fighters relax again after the wookies are defeated. Someone rolls in a keg, and Schleppy rummages up a stack of plastic cups from one of his pockets. The Tenmen play till midnight, ending with a 20 minute version of something called "Surfin Bird." Pinching his mouth disapprovingly, Philimon laments the damaging influence of Terran religious music on Vanthian popular culture. He seems poised to launch into a lengthy diatribe when Abdul Nomascus silences him with a raised eyebrow.

As the show wears on the crowd begin to get frisky. Moods darken and fights break out in the crush of bodies near the stage. No doubt the kegs of dwarf grog and ale contribute to the delinquency of the brawlers. Thanks to your watches no one bugs you.

However, a few of your crew find trouble on their own. Wiggy Plop and a few others sneak off to watch the Tenmen up close, and not all of them make it back. One of the klengon deserters loses a headbutting contest with a rock gnome. The motor-mouthed Sugar Ray Rocketblaster yaps to the wrong chap and ends up eating his words, with a fistful of knuckles for an appetizer.

Muruzabal and the hobling Harmon Brewster polish off the keg in an all-night drinking contest. The mad amazon passes out during an ill-advised keg stand and is rolled off in the tarp by fast-moving goblin medics.

Happily, you draw new fighters to your ranks, and by morning your crew is 16 strong, not counting Creature, Buck and Zarko.

[Anyone who took damage heals 1-4 HP]

[Sorry to blow off last night guys. Hella busy day at work yesterday; needed to chill last night. Probably won't post much till evening -- feel free to chat amongst yourselves, talk to your crew, etc.]


Buck and Zarko are keeping their eyes peeled for any action that might be heading their way. "Wonder if I should just start something," Buck says looking for another fight to get him towards the end of this thing. "How's Creature holding up?" he asks Zarko...he also surveys some of our new crowd, taking stock of what sort of gang is on hand in case things heat up soon.



(I haven't read every post, did we ever hear anything about Darryl? I should be back on track for checking in at least once a day on weekdays.)


(we've discovered literally NIL on the Daryl situation...I'm pretty concerned about that as well).


On the other hand, we really don't have any reason to believe Daryl is in any trouble.

He wanted to fight, he fought. Then he got knocked out. Then they hauled him away, like they do with everyone.

My guess is, he's sitting up there with Mama, watching us and cringing every time we do something he disagrees with.


You may be right, Coffee, at least by all logical 'game appearances.'


Around dawn the goons are back. Under the whips of a team of drovers, they haul out a cart filled with tarnished robo-perc units, and roll empty kegs down the ramp. Bleary, bruised and grumpy fighter line up for coffee. No rolls are served.

[Dudes, sorry. Totally fell asleep on the couch after watching Wild Zero on the dvd last night.]


About how many contestants are left in the brawl?


[Maybe a hundred? Most of them look to be tough hombres. Yours is probably the largest crew -- but judging by appearances not necessarily the baddest.]


Buck checks out the new recruits, and finds them mostly a sorry lot. There's a pair of human twin brothers barely old enough to shave, a planetary ape with the mange and a red-faced, overweight vulkin. Buck can't figure how any of 'em made it through yesterday.

A bit more promising is a sneering ratling and a strapping lizard man shaman, both of whom are a bit banged up but eager for action. Rounding out the new meat are a lanky wooky in a coonskin cap and dusky-skinned human with a sly grin.

[You can give these guys names if you want to. More later, as time allows.]

[Anyone who took damage heals 1-4 HP]

[No need to make a separate post for it, but let me know how many HP you've healed next time you post.]


I think I only took one point, so I'll say that I rolled a 1. (If my ability to scan back through messages is impaired, and I actually took more than one point, please let me know...)


Unbidden, Bob the Fighter and One Eye Malone make a coffee run for the crew. The 'run' part turns out to be literal, as the two of them jog back to camp as quickly as they can laden down with 10 coffees each.

"Trouble coming!" calls out Bob, motioning over his head with a jerk of his head. "Three-motherf*c%ing-headed $h#t-damned giant," adds Malone.

Well, technically a giant. At first you don't see him at all. Then you realize that this particular giant is only seven feet tall. It's three-headed for sure, though, and it definitely looks P-Oed. It stomps deliberately across the arena, sweeping aside anyone foolish enough not to clear aside.

At the same time there's an alarm from the rear! A trio of elves in graduation gowns and mortar boards struts up to your perimeter. "Doctor Dropkick! Professor Pain! The Head-Masher!" Each in turn strips down to a speedo and wrestling boots. "Ass-kicking class is now in session!"

Friday, November 7, 2008

Hobson & Quazarn in A Clockwork Sombrero

Quazarn & Hobson attempt to rendezvous with a ratling fixer...

[despite adding a link to a groovy Nadsat glossary to my forum signature I now suspect the ratling's Clockwork Orange derived slang got old quick. For convenience I've added mouse-over translations here.]


Age of Fable
Noticing that Quazarn seems to have had another attack, Hobson will try to follow the ratling, observing her while being unobserved if possible.

[rolled a 55]

Dr Rotwang!
Surreptitiously, Quazarn follows the ratling.

The ratling is nowhere to be seen. However, it seems Logical to Hobson that she probably intended to meet them in the beer garden, so the two of you make your way there as inconspicuously as you can.

As you sidle into the deep shade of the baobabbler tree it takes a moment for your eyes to adjust to the gloom, and for your ears to tune out the constant chattering of the tree.*

"Hisst," says a low voice, just two tables over. It's the ratling. "You are like sore thumbs, sticking out. Sit!"

[*This, naturally, is a domestic baobabbler, and thus merely annoying. The voice of the wild baobabbler is rumored to cause agonizing headaches, tympanal edema and contagious glossolalia.]

Dr Rotwang!

Quazarn sits.


The ratling regards Quazarn through rosy pink eyes. Her thick Slavic accent tells you her forebears must have migrated to Vanth via a Roosky colony ship.

"That thing you mentioned. Buying or selling?"

Dr Rotwang!


[Max -- you're kind of running two games now and it's all my fault. How do we get the band back together?]


[It's really not a thing, Doc! PbP works very well for divided parties -- I can attend to each group based on the speed of your posts without forcing anyone to sit around. Remember, Fable/Hobson never really wanted to fight in the Brawl anyway, so don't feel bad.

[That said, if either side feels things are sputtering or stalled, let me know. I'm having a blast with this -- and I want all of you to be having a blast (having blasts?) too!]


(I got no problems with the split's a blast anyway you slice it, thanks to some great players and an visionary JM. I would like us to float back together at some point too, but I'm sure we'll work it out).



"That thing you mentioned. Buying or selling?"

Dr Rotwang!

"I maybe have what you are looking for. Expensive goods, no?"

Glancing at Hobson she chitters impatiently, "Sit down, malenky. Pony?"

Dr Rotwang!

"Well," replies Quazarn flatly, but not impolitely, "I'm simply interested in a regular Ontobian sombreroid -- no fancy haberdashery, merely the traditional transfelt and us what you have, for I am in the market." He flashes a big, friendly smile. Everybody likes Quazarn!

Ontobia, the Sombrero Galaxy

[phew, sure am glad to find out what the heck an Ontobian sombreroid is!]


[What's up with Hobson?]

Age of Fable

I'm keeping a regular eye on things, but I have no strong opinions on the sombrero industry.


"Vat can I say, droog? Ever since Ontobian Sanz Chapeau Rebellion prices go up and up. And there is price on your gulliver too. Adds up, da?" Her eyes twinkle with sinister mirth.

Age of Fable

"Oh I get it...this is a shakedown. Well it won't work, see? Because...well, because we don't have any money. But, we do happen to know the location of an enormous pile of cheese."


Twitching her whiskers the ratling smirks. With deliberate movements she reaches into her leather jacket, unsheathes a wicked stiletto, and sets it gently on the table.

"I am vegetarian, malenky."

Age of Fable

"An enormous pile...of soy cheese."

"Also, you probably mean vegan."


"Sha, child! Shut your chumble, em and pee are talking," she says dismissively, turning to Quazarn. Her hand rests lightly now on the handle of the knife. The sharp nails on her fingers are painted the pink to match her eyes.

Some time passes without a post from the Good Dr Rotwang...

Age of Fable

"No you're not, you're just sitting there."


After an awkward pause the rat-girl sighs and rolls her eyes. Leaning across the table she snaps her fingers in front of Quazarn's face. "Bog-damn bezoomy shoot," she mutters to herself.

She pockets her knife and turns to the hobling. "This pointy head eggiweg is terrible warlock? Who would fear this sneetnik, always day dreaming? How can I bargain with a stone?"

Age of Fable

"Don't ask me - last time I tried to talk to you I didn't even get a roll."


"Roll? Now you vant bread. Always you are talking about food, malenky."

[If you want to roll against a skill, go for it -- let me know what you want to do and throw the dice. Can't promise you it'll get you anywhere, but don't let that stop you trying.]

Dr Rotwang!

[Sorry, I got distracted.]

"Ratling friend, do you have the sombreroid to sell? And what price is there upon our heads, pray tell?"


"Ah, horrowshow! Govoreet golly, now ve talk business," smiles the ratling, showing two or three gold teeth and a pierced tongue. Eying Quazarn's silken cravvy and fine clothes, she continues, "Traders and lovers both: I like them rich and desperate....

"So. I can get sombreroid. And price on your head is not yet set -- but for you is cheaper to pay not to see Bigby, I think. Da? You pony?"

Dr Rotwang!

Quazarn grins. He reaches into his bag and extracts this magically-shrunken beast of burden.

"It's a burro, actually," he says. "Hardier than a pony for sure."


(The mini-burro kicks ass! pardon the pun)


[Mule have to excuse me for not braying with laughter.]

Her nose twitching, the ratling squeals with unabashed delight. "It's a real live little ossyel!"

Checking her glee she says more sternly, "What else for the hat and your safety?"

After another awkward silence sternness turns to peevish boredom. The rat girl drums her fingers on the table, nails clicking on the wood. Eventually she stands up.

"If you vecks get tired of sodding around ask for Ika Norvegova. Maybe we still do business," she sneers, "Maybe you gloops snuff it first."

Age of Fable

"Maybe we should, as I believe the young people say, split the scene?" I ask Quazarn.

Dr Rotwang!



The Remulaki grunts through a morbid psychometric fog, "Where oh where will my little donkey go?" With a shudder he carefully stows the mini-mule and stands, ready to follow Hobson.

The Brawl: Wombie Zombie

Two wookies down, zombie to go...


Not really sure what's going on (sorry guys, work has picked up quite a bit, and I've foolishly been spending my time on the site arguing over in the off topic forum)

Initiative: 2
Attack: 59% hit
Damage: 10


[Politics is the last thing I want to talk about with my fellow gamers, man ]

[Just need a saving throw roll for Creature. I'll be back in 20-30 minutes to update.]


Saving throw 55% fail


Not one to be shown up by his mates, Creature finally snaps out of his reverie and charges the wook-zombie! The half-dead thing is ready, and smacks him upside the head with a flailing claw. The furious frankenstein keeps charging though, battering through the wombie's guard and smashing his nose with a vicious head butt. Grave dirt and black blood smear Creature's forehead...

...but the wombie is still fighting. He grabs at Creature's neck, trying to drag him into a clinch, but a spark of necrolectricity from the frankenstein's neck bolts zaps him and he backs away.

[Take 5 HP damage, Creech. Lucky you though: the wombie tried to catch you in a grapple and Fumbled his feat roll. Free attack for you!

[The sparking neck bolt is just color commentary. Don't get any fresh ideas ]


Buck and Zarko watch Creature struggle with the wombie (whose name, Frochanbo, is spelled out in beads on his bandolier). The rest of your crew, and a few spectators, crowd around to watch. Goblin medics shove through with stretchers to cart away the two cold-cocked wookies. The third wooky shrugs off a medic trying to coax him into a wheelchair, waiting to see how Fro' fairs against the Creech.


Is anybody else looking on, say from other mobs? Zarko keeps an eye out for looky-lous from other gangs. In particular, I want to know if they're impressed we took out the wooks, or how scared they might seem of us. That sort of thing.


Buck stands with Zarko, arms crossed checking out the Creature. Same protocol: Should Creech get in trouble, Zarko and I are gonna jump in there and stomp the wooky's ass in the dirt if we can, otherwise we're just checking it out.


(This is like a Texas Saturday night 'front yard' fight! Stinky, growling wookies and all!)


From a distance, in the poorly lit arena, it's hard too tell. The clumps of people gathered seem to cheer for Creature and Fronchanbo alike, though Creature's headbutt was definitely a crowd pleaser.

[Wulf, here's the situation: you're still fighting that wook-zombie, and it's your move. Need your hit and damage roll if you want to take a shot.

[If Wulfgar can't chime in before, say, 5 PM EST could Coffee or Rondo roll for Creech? Only home for an hour or so after work and I'd like to update then.]


I'm here, and can fill in if everyone wants me to.


Go ahead, if Wulf can't make it. I know I'd trust my character with your rolls.



Initiative: 5 (not sure if he has some bonuses)
Attack: 65 (ditto as above)
Damage: ? Let me know what you need me to roll for our Frankenstein


[Just roll d6, I'll add the STR bonus.]


(btw: not sure if you can check the dice record on the roller I'm using, but be sure and let me know if you want me to try to link you to that...I HAVE been rolling lucky, but honest, I swear! ha)


[Seeing as I don't post my rolls for NPCs at all, I'm not too worried about it. I am satisfied with the honor system. If anybody ever wants to make things more 'official,' let me know. ]


"1"....what was the braggin I was doing about rolling earlier...groan...


It was tempting fate, that's what it was! A gamer of your experience should really know better...


(yea, kiddin', rookie mistake! Dice always getcha in the end...)....


[Ahh, gamers, and their strange ideas about probability ;) ]


Sparks still arcing from his neck bolts Creature backhands the wombie. With a groan Frochanbo sinks to his knees and slumps to the ground.

The last of the wookies growls angrily and climbs into the waiting wheelchair. Your crew and the other fighters crowd in, cheering and yelling. Someone rolls a keg into the middle of one of the dirt circles.


Buck wonders to himself, amongst the revelry, "Is this thing over with, finally?" and he starts to grin at Zarko, wiping some dried blood off his nose and lip.


[If Buck thinks about for a minute he'll realize there's a whole day left -- you can leave any time you like though.]


"For today, maybe," Zarko says with a smirk. "Meanwhile, do you know any kind of first aid that would help our Fearless Leader over here?" He points a thumb toward Creature, who quite frankly has looked better. I mean like this morning he looked better.

"I'll set up watches for the night."


"Hmm...see what I can do..." Buck approaches Creech..."Easy buddy...let me see here" trying to administer what he can with water and cloth.

"I'll get the next watch," he nods to Zarko.

Monday, November 3, 2008

The Brawl: Ape Fu


"Whew! What a big galoot...guys, I ain't feelin' so hot..." Buck staggers over to Zarko and goes down on one knee..."Wow, that guy had a southpaw"....he leans next to Creature and sets down gazing around for some water.


(I'm back...sort of...pretty busy..but I'll try catching up and chiming in sometime today)


[Condensed: While Buck and Zarko chatted with the mystic vobling Starshine, some wookies busted into your area and have been taunting your crew. Buck took up a challenge and knocked one out. The half-zombie leader wants to fight Creature.]


Yeah, and the other one wants to fight me! I don't want to fight something that big. I'm just a scrawny little guy.

But hey, I will go ahead and taunt him. I'm totally cool with that; it's what us little guys do. (I can run faster scared than he can mad...)

"Oooga Booga!" Zarko bellows at the Wookie. He walks up next to the circle and starts to go around it, but doesn't step inside. All the while, he makes any rude gestures he can think of (flipping him off, etc.), trying to get the wook's goat and make him lose his cool.

What I learned from Starshine is this: There is fighting, and then there is fighting. You have to play to your strengths.

(I was hoping there was some kind of skill or power I could use in this, but don't see anything that seems applicable. Oh, well. If the ref wants me to roll something, he has but to say so.)


[Roleplaying this out is fine. If you're hoping for some mechanical effect (a la kender taunting foes into attacking at a penalty) I'd say you could try rolling Psychic Implant -- but you might want to sling some nastier insults than "Ooga Booga."]


Sorry, too subtle? I was implying that he didn't speak, just made noises. I.e., he's not a "real person" and therefore not worth fighting.

Yeah, that probably was too subtle, for a wookie.

Zarko runs his fingers through his lush pompadour. "Get a comb, ya shaggy loser."

"No wonder ya got hairballs."


[Sir, wookies everywhere take grave offense at your assumptions. Why this very wooky is a renowned slam poet, and won an honorable mention from the New Anthology of Kashyyk Poetry for his chapbook RRRRRRRRRrrggghhhrrra'k. ]


Sure- Creature will throw down with the wooky zombie


[Rock on, blood. Roll dem bones, show 'em what you got.]


Zarko runs his fingers through his lush pompadour. "Get a comb, ya shaggy loser."

"No wonder ya got hairballs."

Zarko is joined by the young wrestler 'Sugar' Ray Rocketblaster, who has a few choice words of his own for the wooky. "Come on outta ya circle tall dark an' hairy! I'll make a wig outta ya! Ya sideways poodle..."

The wook bares his teeth and growls derisively. He mimics each of your gestures in as mincing a way as is possible for a 6'6" wooky. Suddenly his eyes go blank. As if possessed by a Warlock Mime he silently acts out a breathtakingly filthy scene involving Zarko, Rocketblaster, their parents and a pack of stray dogs. The crowd of fighters watching gasps.

Rocketblaster clenches his fists, his neck muscles, his teeth, heck even his eyes clench. Just barely, he manages to control himself. Zarko feels his hackles rise, and struggles against a rush of pure gorilla rage.

[You got served, dogg. Wooky got reeeal lucky with his Psychic Implant roll.]

[You need to roll Psi-Resist. If you fail you'll take a 10% penalty to *all* percentile rolls for the duration of the Brawl, unless you take a swing at the wooky who just humiliated you in front of your crew.]


Okay, that's no problem. My Psi-Resist is a healthy 58 and I rolled...99.

Okay, so I'm on him like -- well, like stink on a wooky.

Initiative: 5
Melee Attack: Need 55, rolled 19 -- hit!
Damage: 1
Saving Throw: Need 37, rolled -- Another bloody 99! My dice hate me today!

But hey, why should today be any different.

Ball's in your court, hairbag.


Buck is feeling a little bit better (I only have 4 HPS left, so I'm not how sure how 'in the fight' Buck still is). He motions to the zombie critter, "Take it easy on the poor slob Creech...just tear off ONE of his arms."....Buck is keeping a close eye on Zarko too, in case anyone else tries to jump in there and outnumber him and our NPC. If that happens Buck is in there like lightning. Well, as close to lightning as a beat-up space pilot can muster!


[I may not have time to post any full updates till this evening -- it's likely to be a busy day for this particular widget salesman. Few things:

* Wulf: need Creature's initiative, melee & save when possible.
* Coffee: in the cold light of morning I feel the choice I gave you last night was too harsh -- if you want to forgo clobbering the wooky your skill penalty will only be 5%. Feel free to edit your post above if you wish.
* Rondo: carry on.]


Nah, my post stands. I needed motivation, and pride is always a big motivator.

My post stands, although I'm hoping I can get some help going on, because I'm better at sneak attack then I am at melee attack. If someone could distract the oversized drain-clog, I'd be happier.

Assuming, that is, that I survive what's about to happen!

I ain't taking no penalty, because I AM clobbering the mook! (well, as best I can...)


(Buck can do some distractin'!....give me a wink, goriller-man when your ready, and I'll do some serious distracting!)


[Buck is well enough to act -- and a distraction is a possibility. Just roll initiative per normal and tell me what you're planning.]


Rolled: 5 +2=7 total

"Hey! You!!" Buck yells towards the opposing Wook, "Could you do us a favor?" He pinches off his nose and points, "MOVE DOWN WIND! YOU SMELL LIKE A DINO ISLAND PORTA-POTTY!!" With this Buck literally throws his stick towards the Wooky's head as hard as he can chunk it..

Att: 5! (Sweeeet)
Dam: 1 rolled, +2=3
Save: 90% (back to the shitty save rolls! Oh well, maybe I don't need it...I'm just trying to get this chump's attention anyway)


My dice hate me today!

[That's ok, mine seem to like you...]

Zarko charges! The arena walls have twisted into a tunnel of rage with Zarko on one end and the wooky crouching at the other in a blood-red spotlight. He hardly hears Buck hollering over the sound of his judding heartbeat.

The wooky is ready for Zarko's charge and leaps high, smashing downward with doubled fists...and misses the ape completely. At that instant Buck hurls his club. His aim is deadly, but luck is with the wooky. The club rockets straight at his temple, but the wooky stumbles when he attack misses Zarko, and the club merely grazes his shaggy dome.

Even in a primal rage, Zarko still has his cunning. In the split second that his foe is distracted the ape jabs a finger in his eye. It doesn't do much damage, but it must hurt like hell, 'cause the wooky yowls and clutches its eye.

[Wacky round! Buck's Critical Hit got canceled by a Critical Save, but then the wooky Fumbled his Save against Zarko's attack.

[Zarko's head is clear again, so he can fight on or not as he sees fit. If you keep fighting don't worry about re-rolling initiative.]


Okay, press the attack -- maybe I'm on a roll!

Attack: Need 55, got 60, (so no damage)
Saving Throw: Need 37, got 16, so less than half!


Zarko throws a quick jab but the wooky steps out of reach. Still holding his eye he throws a wild right cross, but Zarko ducks and it whooshes over his head.

[If Wulf doesn't chime in in the morning can someone run Creature tomorrow? He said he wants to tangle with the wook-zombie, but I need melee, damage and save rolls from him.]


Zarko still has his rage, but is in the fight now, so he's going to try to maneuver into a better position. (Not easy in a circle, I know...)

Where is the mop handle (or whatever) that Buck threw? It could be around here somewhere. If I can see it, and grab it and use it as a weapon, groovy. If not, fine.

Attack roll (55): 96
Damage (d3+0): --
Saving Throw (37): 10


Zarko keeps moving, jabbing and stepping to the side. He takes a chance with a looping overhand, aiming for the wooky's injured eye, but as he throws the punch he slips on Buck's club. He twists an ankle and stumbles to one knee but is nimble enough to roll out of the way of a head kick from the wooky. The club is almost close enough to grab...

[You can grab the club and either attack or make a saving throw in the next round, but not both. Note that a club does only 1d4 damage.

[The twisted ankle is from the Critical Fumble on your attack roll. Take 1 hp damage, reduce your move by 1]


Buck is wide eyed taking in his comrades situation...if Zarko takes a solid punch Buck is ready to go in....(I can run Creature today too, if need be....I'm qualified: I have a Frankenstein image tattooed on my forearm!)


Buck makes an attempt to distract the wooky, "Hey you fat sack of crap!" dawns on him: "I can't speak wooky!...geeesh," so then he attempts to make the weirdest, loudest, bellowing growl he can, "GRrroooowrreeeeeeeeeee!!!!" just to see if the furball will turn his head and think, "wha!?"

(should I roll to see if by some weird chance maybe Buck uttered some butchered Engrish (Wookrish)? )


[Heh, Wookrish. Let's call that a Happenstance roll.]


WEEEEE! (I SWEAR...i can't believe it...I have a lousy "18"...i rolled a "15"!..)


Sure enough, Buck's growl* catches the wooky off Guard. He does a double take, furrowing his brow in confusion, and growls back angrily, "NNNgrrN?!"

*"Sister bubblegum mating dance two-for-one"

[Coffee: 10% bonus to your actions this round. If you choose to grab the club you'll still need to choose between attack and defense (i.e. saving throw)]


Sneak attack on him when he's distracted!

Need (62 + 10) = 72, rolled 15!

Damage is 3!

I'm on a roll -- now, my question is this: Since I succeeded on a sneak attack, can I try a Murder roll to kill him? (I know it's not a fight to the death, but c'mon -- I'm a criminal! I'm just over-enthusiastic, that's all!)

If so, I roll my 15% (or would that get the +10% also?) and I get .. 32. Yeah, never mind.


[Sneak Attack & Murder Notes:

[A foe you've already engaged in melee gets to roll Guard vs a Sneak Attack -- in this case Rondo took care of that with his distraction.

[Don't forget about a Criminal's bonus damage for Sneak Attacks (+5 at 1st level). So the total damage for your current attack is 8!

[We'll handle Murder just as you suggest: an optional separate roll any time you succeed at a Sneak Attack. Truly lethal attacks require a weapon, but in the context of the Brawl a Murder success equals a knockout. A moot point, as you'll see...]


When the wooky turns away Zarko judo chops him in the throat. The furball sinks to his knees, gasping, and it's lights out for another wook.


How's my hit points, JM? Am I still sitting at 4? I'm assuming so, since Buck's fight went down a mere few minutes ago eh?


[Seconds ago, actually. It's just time dilation makes it seem longer.

[PbP, the natural high. Did you ever look at yr dice man? I mean really looook at them?]


Yea, what i figured...I'm pretty sore still...

"Nice job workin' over the offending Wook, there Zarko...!...CHOP TO THE THROAT!


"Well, he shouldn't have said that. Gestured that. Oh, you know what I mean!"

Zarko stands up, collecting Buck's club and handing it to him.

"Thanks for the distraction. Here's your stick."


"Thanks bud...nice moves!" Buck flips the stick over in his hand. Now how's things looking around us?

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Brawl: Wooky Trouble


Taking leave of Starshine the vobling, Buck & Zarko can't help but to notice a few sidelong glances and shaking heads among the crew. But there's no time to ponder. Leeplo croaks out an alarm! At the same time there's a cackle from Shifty and a yelp of wookish rage. After a brief scuffle in the dark Shifty's laughter stops.

Four shaggy wookies stride fiercely through your ranks, parting your fighters with a Commanding roar. Sugar Ray blanches and ducks behind Creature, and only Mad Muruzabal and One Eye Malone stand their ground unflinchingly.

One of the wookies drags Shifty's limp body with one hand and clutches a wound in his belly with the other. The wooky's fur is dark with blood. He drops the elf roughly to the ground and tosses a bloody shiv onto his body, growling with rage.

Another of the wookies steps forward. His hair is dull grey, patchy save for a wild and tangled mane atop his head, and his flesh is withered. He points a decayed finger at Creature, then at himself, then throws his arms out. Mouth gaping, he rears back and squeaks, "GGGnnnnrrrgaaaagh!"

"GGGnnnnrrrgaaaagh!" one of the other wooks repeats.

[One of you guys got a convincing reason why you understand wooky let me hear it.]


"Uh oh..." says Buck in a low disparaging voice. "Trouble, what...?" Buck turns to Zarko, "Get Creature and let's start moving the hell away from this place!"


(Looks like we've hung around too long!)

(Ha, ha! This thing has gotten nuts!! Har!! Fun though...Buck bears the burden of some of the chaos...but it takes all of us to 'tango,' as it were, and besides: gotta see how bad we can jack-up the JM's planning! Isn't that always the classic RPG situation? ha!)


[Keep in mind the party is split up in time as well as space. Hobson & Quaz's antics are happening within minutes of the crane fiasco! The rest of you are hours ahead.

[Much fun as it'd be to fly Fable in from Australia and converge in some central location (or better yet fly ourselves down there!) here's one instance that I'm glad we're playing PbP and not tabletop.]


(Ow, wow, i hadn't thought of that, in all this chaos!...yikes...that changes things to some degree)


[You just worry about kicking asses in the Brawl. Or running away from ass-kickers, as the case may be. I'll figure out the rest.]


"Well, Creature," Zarko says. "Do you wanna stand and fight, or should we clear out and live to fight later?

"Whichever you decide, we're with you."

Zarko eyes the bloody shiv and remembers that he 'forgot' to leave his pistol in the locker room. But then, guns make noise...


In the manner of their race the wookies are clad only in their own pelts, and unless their weapons are concealed in compromising places they appear unarmed. Glancing at the shiv Zarko notes that it's crafted in the shape of an elfin ear -- in a shade of blue perfectly matching Shifty Mcjumper's blue skin. Glancing between the blade and the indignant and bleeding wooky he realizes just who shanked who.

[WRT your forgotten gun: you also forgot to tell your JM that you forgot to stow your weapon. It might be wise to remember that you left it in your locker after all. Just sayin.']


Okay, ya got me.

I thought about it earlier, but didn't say one way or the other. Mostly, I've been assuming that I did leave it behind in the locker. So I'll go with that assumption and not try anything funny.

(And it's not because Zarko's afraid of breaking Bigby Smalls's rules; it's that Zarko is afraid of Darryl's Mom breaking Zarko. You don't cross the boss!)

I'd still like to hear a response from Creature before I decide what to do. Although this puts a decidedly different spin on it.


[Wulfgar mentioned upthread he's mid-move, so how 'bout we give him this evening to respond? If he doesn't get a chance to chime in we'll move things along tomorrow.]


Fine by me.


The zombie wookie is lean but hard-muscled despite his withered flesh. He has a wild red mane like the corona of a dying star. His eyes are black marbles, his cheekbones hollow, his nose cracked and dry. He fixes Creature with a wild-eyed stare, then rears back his head and roars threateningly. "RRRrrnnnggrrr!"

Well, his roar would be threatening anyway, if not for the tiny balloon squeak of his voice. His number two wooky steps up and repeats, "RRRrrnnnggrrr!" The half-zombie nods, and begins to walk a wide circle, dragging one foot behind him to mark it off in the dust. He stares at creature the whole time, grinning.

Two other wookies begin making similar circles, snarling and hooting contemptuously at you and your fighters.


"You flea bags need to find something else to do...hate to see you buncha walking carpets trying to walk with an arm shoved up your ass..." Buck has had enough. He not so sure how he'll do against these giant bigfoots, but his patience is to the point where he doesn't really care.


"Kashykk?" snorts one of the wookies. He takes a long sneering look at you. Chuffing with mirth, he finishes drawing his circle and steps to the center. He motions you over then, turns away dismissively.


"Fine, goddamn it.." Buck grits his teeth and grips the pipe he was carrying from earlier. "I'm gonna go see exactly what the stinking problem is here..." Buck takes off walking towards the motioning Wook.....I'm watching for ANY sign that will indicate I can strike or if he intends to....I can't speak Wookie so how do I know he wants to fight? I'm not taking ANY chances.


Buck wonders briefly if the wookies might be enacting some sort of wookish diplomatic ritual, but their body language says fight, no question about it. They ain't drawin' circles in the dirt for a game of duck duck goose.

The other wooky struts about his circle, arms out and palms up, daring anyone to step in. The half-zombie stares at Creature, still angrily squeaking in wookish. It seems safe to assume Creature's parentage, grooming habits and manhood are called into question.

[Rondo: Pipe? What pipe? Citation?]


(Remember? I've been carrying around that piece that I found earlier? I used it in the last fight didn't I? Honestly: I might be imagining it, but I could of swore I had a piece of club or a pipe or somethin!!! Ha)

I'm clubbing the flea bag in the forkin' head right NOW....(and if i don't have that I'm gonna have to just slug him)

Attack: 17 (made it in the clear)
Damage: 6 total (rolled a good ol' four, and +2)
Save: 60 (missed)


[Oh yeaaahh, now I remember. Your mop handle club! Ok-doke.]

[I'll need an initiative roll, too. d10 + your missile damage bonus]


With the bonus, I got a 4, and I'm so glad you remembered my mop handle! I'm probably gonna end up wagging that thing like a tail, anyway. :O


Zarko watches the wooks carefully. Are there just two of them making their half-assed crop circles?

He's also gonna keep an eye on our guys. If the shiv-meister looks like he's gonna get us all in trouble, then he's somebody who needs to be ended right quick. (Or if I missed it and the wooks already ended him then that's fine by me.)


The lowdown as Zarko sees it: Two wookies and a wook-zombie stand in their circles, taunting your crew. Three at full fighting strength, check. The fourth wookie squats besides Shifty and begins tearing the elf's jerkin, making rags to staunch his stab wound. Done for? Not sure. Shifty is smurfed though: out like a little blue lightbulb.

All of your fighters have crowded round to watch, including your sentries. Malone, Bob and Philimon watch the wookies impassively but the rest of your fighters seem a little spooked. Even the boastful Rocketblaster is silent, watching Creature expectantly.

Cursing under his breath, Buck squares his shoulders and steps into the circle with one of the wookies...


"Hey, youse guys!" Zarko barks at the wayward sentries. "Back on watch! And thanks for letting us know a bunch of wookies were sneaking up on us!"

He stalks off, fuming, to see what happens to Buck.


[In defense of your sentries, one of them did his best. The other decided to get all stabby:]

Leeplo croaks out an alarm! At the same time there's a cackle from Shifty and a yelp of wookish rage. After a brief scuffle in the dark Shifty's laughter stops.

[When you have an evil magical birthmark stuff like that happens.]

Leeplo and one of the klengons trot off to guard your flanks.

Zarko watches Buck and the wooky circle each other, taking each others measure in the ring. He's so focused he doesn't have a chance to duck when something dark and squishy bounces off his cheek. Zarko looks down to find a large hairball at his feet, fresh and spitty. The wooky two rings over slaps his knee and wheezes. If wookies had eyebrows, his'd be raised as if to say, "Gonna do something about it?"

[Arrangement of fighting rings: L: hairball tosser, C: zombie-wook, R: Buck & wooky toe-to-toe]

After a moment of pacing around the ring warily, Buck and his foe lunge at each other! The spaceman swings high with his club but the wook is faster, catching him with a sharp jab. Buck rolls with the punch and swings again, cracking the wooky across the cheek. The two reel back from each other, both rocked.

[Buck takes 8 HP damage. If you're going to keep fighting re-roll initiative along with ATT, DAM and save]


Buck shakes his head and spits out some blood. "Wow..ugh..." His vision is a bit blurred and his breathing is bugging him. "Damn...what was the number of that truck?!" he shouts to his comrades. He takes off charging forward attempting to butt his head as solid into the wookie's gut as is possible to wind him.

Initiative: 10 (that's with bonus...d10 right?)
Attack: 62% (made it)
Damage: 6 total
Save: 11% (FINALLY SCORED ONE! ha)


Buck is first to clear his head, and he lunges at the wooky like a blitzing linebacker. The wook takes a wild swing but it passes over Buck's head. The spaceman's helmet and shoulder plow into his opponent's shaggy belly and the speared wooky goes down gasping.

[Feel free to elaborate on your knock out if you want, Rondo! The wooky's not dead or anything, but he's out of the Brawl for sure]

[Hopefully Wulfgar's about done with his move. I'll probably post again tomorrow noonish. Want to give Coffee a chance to respond to the wet hairball barrage.]