Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The Brawl: Frankenstein Dreams and Stolen Canteens

wulfgar

"uuuuungh........marsh....mellows................. " mutters the unconscious Creature at a barely audible level.

Max

Rondo
Restore Courage: 3% (passed with flying colors)
(Water) Explore: 73% (failed)

wulfgar

Unpleasant Order:58% SUCCESS


Bodacious B.O.F. by Jared von Hindman. Creature's head lolls to the side, his arms limp. Buck scan the arena for signs of water, considering a dowsing attempt, then rushes to the fallen frankenstein's side. After a few slaps Creature begins to mumble incoherently, "Biggest...stacked...meaty." Buck smacks him again, a little harder, and with a mighty effort Creature rouses himself from dreams of large women and even larger sandwiches. His eyes flutter open, and he turns his head and retches.

[Creature is at 1 HP. If he rests he can recover some hit points and continue. If he gets hit right now though he'll be knocked unconscious and out of the Brawl for sure.]

Max
Rokem Sokem begins to spin side to side on it's vertical axle. A tin whistle pops out of a hatch on its shoulder, wailing like a far-off locomotive.

Before Creature can sit up there's a tinny bwoing-oing-oinging like the twanging of a giant metal rubber band. With a shriek as loud as the Iron Hills Express Rokem Sokem streaks past in a red and silver blur.

"LET ME AT THEM I CAME HERE TO KICK ASS AND CHEW BUBBLEGUM AND AM FULLY PROGRAMMED TO DO BOTH SIMULTANEOUSLY."

Rokem zooms past Buck and Creature, bounces over Tumek and crashes into the line of AWOL klengons, furiously spinning his begloved fists. One of the deserters staggers back, both eyes blackened by the robot's piston punches. The klengon keeps his feet but his counter-punch clangs off Rokem's metal noggin.

The rest of the klengons fall into bedlam, bamboozled by the bot's biomechanical blitz.* The clown Wiggy Plop blows a warlike blast on a bicycle horn. Sugar Ray Rocketblaster shouts insults and struts for a non-existent crowd. Shifty McJumper and 3M "Triple Muscles" Ragnar charge forward, and the man-frog Leeplo leaps overhead.

Coffee
...Zarko does his best to jack a canteen of water from one of the Klengons I was sidling past. What the hell; rock and roll.

Halfway to a retreat chute Zarko turns at the sound of Rokem's battle whistle and sees the 'droid rush the klengon line. Scanning the scene quickly, the ape is surprised at Creature's rally, and intrigued by the confusion among the klengons. He considers Stealing a canteen from one of the deserters.

[roll 'em if you want to, Coffee]

*Man, alliteration. Sometimes it's hard to resist.

wulfgar


Creature tries to sit up and get over to the edge of the arena with the help of Buck, thinking "Man, that sandwich looks good!" along the way.

[OOC: Man, that sandwich looks good.]

Coffee

Zarko lunges at a likely looking deserter, the point being to make him believe I'm attacking but just enough to get him to recoil. Then I can make a grab for the canteen.

(Actually, looking over my character sheet, I HAVE a canteen of my own. But it's more fun to swipe one from an enemy!)

Steal is 35%. I get...38, and just miss it. Bummer.

Then I'll make my way back to Creature, hopefully avoiding any more Klengons on the way.

Max

[In fact, I'm factoring in a bonus to Steal due to the klengons' surprised state, so...]

Distracted by an oddball onslaught of dwarves, frog-men and blue elves -- oh my -- Zarko's target doesn't notice him creep up. The klengon flinches and throws up his arms to block the apes fake punch, and Zarko knuckle-jogs off with an extra canteen!

Rondo

"Whatta punch!! Whatta heart! You're something else, Creech!" Buck is grinning using all of his might just to support Creature whose arm is tight around his neck, like a drunken Lurch Addams. He leads him over to take a breather, spotting Zarko heading this way. Buck's thoughts turn towards Daryl for a minute. "Geesh, I hope the kid is okay." He busies himself knocking the dust and blood from the battle off of Creatures clothes.

Coffee

Flush with victory (of a sort), Zarko triumphantly hands the canteen to Buck.

"Water for our fearless leader!" he cries. "Courtesy of the opponents."

Zarko pauses, grabs the canteen back, opens it, and verifies that it is, in fact, water. If it is, he hands it back to Buck.

"There's such a thing as being too suspicious, of course; but not when you're dealing with Klengons."

Max

It's water.

[On the other hand, if y'all are feeling lucky: 5% chance it's a healing potion, 5% chance it's klengon "surrender ale." Given how klengons feel about surrender, such ale is a deadly poison.

JM's roll.]

wulfgar

Is that question directed at Zarko or Creature?

If it's my call, creature will take the roll...what the hey!

Max

[I intended for it to be a group decision, though naturally you'd have veto power. Let's see what the other two think.]

Rondo

Well, I kinda just wanted to splash it on his face anyway, personally, not really have him drink it....never good for a fighter....that comes later. Anyhow, that's my vote.

Coffee

I say we take the chance: A healing potion would be particularly groovy right about now.

And we could always use the "surrender ale" to trick some other unwary fighter...

wulfgar

[Illustrious JM...do you allow the old "I take a sip, see what it tastes like, and then spit it out if it tastes bad (with tasting bad=poison of course)" method of potion effect determination??

[I didn't think so, but thought it was worth a shot. We used to pull that one in our old D&D campaigns many moons ago.]

Max

Oh sure, I'd allow it.

But I wouldn't advise it. After all, medicine often tastes awful, and antifreeze is sweet.

EDIT: Your advisers are split, Wulf. What's it going to be then, eh?

wulfgar

[That's why I specified good stuff tastes good you silly JM!]

Anyways, assuming my fellow players are cool with it, Creature will chug the canteen- better to burn out than to fade away.

Max

Low roll: Potion. High Roll: Poison...

The suspense is killing me...

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