Sgt. T.J. Hobson

Meanwhile, back in the locker room...

Age of Fable

I try to change my hologram clothes to look like anyone working here that I've seen.

Max

You look like a tool in the uniform, but the disguise takes effect. There is an orderly about, you've noticed.

Age of Fable

When the orderly's not there, I'll try to pick the lock of one of the lockers (a big one if they're different sizes).

Max

[Give me three percentile rolls and let's see how it goes.]

Age of Fable
88 , 73 , 83 :(

Max

Hobson struggles with the first locker he tries. The lock is shoddy and pathetic, really, ought to be easy peasy. But he just can't get it to tumble. The second locker opens with a bit of fiddling, but contains only a straw hat, threadbare overalls and a pitch fork. He's a hair away from nicking a third locker open when he hears the orderly nearby.

Rondo

[Hey, Hobson! Smoke the dude! :) ]

Age of Fable

If I can't see the orderly, I'll try to turn my clothes into a police uniform.

Max

The orderly looks startled when he rounds the corner and finds Johnny Law in the locker room. He's a grungy looking orc with a patchy beard and tired eyes. If you had to guess you'd say he'd scavenged his uniform from the locker of a co-worker two sizes smaller. His shirt tails hang out sullenly.

"Oh hey, it's God City's Swinest, ungg, Finest," he says, eyes rolling. "What is it, a bust? A crackdown? Don't let me get in your way, man. But, heengg, I ain't done shit."¹

Age of Fable

"Detective-Inspector Hobson. I need these lockers opened."

Max

"Psssh. I need a smoke-bottle fulla magic incense, dude man, but I don't see one. Do you?" The orc looks slowly left and right, pretends to look beneath a bench, then leans against a locker and folds his arms. "Nope. Don't see one. Life is a string of disappointments, man."

Age of Fable

"Right you smart bastard. Get these lockers open NOW, or I will arrest you for impeding a murder investigation."

Max

"Guunng, it's name calling now? I guess you start breaking heads next. Whatever you say, Detective-Defective. I'm just a damn orc, and the damn orc always done it." The orderly sighs heavily, closing his eyes. "I ain't got keys, little big man, but I'm eager to cooperate with this investigation. Gimme just one minute, I'll go get Chief Ball-tard. He'll be thrilled to help out. He lives to serve and protect."

Age of Fable

"Yes, let's see this 'chief'. What's he chief of?"

Max

The orderly straightens up suddenly, assuming a slouchy parade rest. He barks in a pompous voice, "CHIEF Buford Tallbard, HEAD of Installation SEEcurity for Enterprising Hand INcorporated, former DEtective-GeneRAL, Gorgon Sector Alpha, FORmer Precinct CAPtain, God City POlice, LEAD tenor in the God City POliceman's Choir, amateur CHAMPEEN of the EXtreme Karaoke Fighting LEAGUE."

The orc sighs again, blowing his lank forelock out of his eyes, "And a ten-ton pain in my ass. Chief Ball-tard. Bigwig in the the pig gig, man. Surprised you ain't heard of him."

Age of Fable

"Of course I haven't heard of him you fool. I'm on secondment from B Division. Now go and get him at once."

Max

"Oooh, B Division. How impressive," the orc deadpans. He stares dully at Hobson for a few seconds, clears his throat with a nasal wheeze, and reaches for the walkie talkie on his belt.

"Hnnnggh. Yeah, gimme the chief..." A longish wait.

"Chief, it's Chet. Chet White. There's a detective needs, ungk, to see you." The orc winces and holds the walkie talkie away from his ear a good six inches.

"Chester....situation here....damn pointy-headed....blasted....my office."

The walkie-talkie tweets off. Stuffing his hands in his pockets Chet turns and walks toward the locker room door. "Off we go, piglet. I'm sure I'll end up fired over this, or emptying out the hair traps in the shower.* After my ass is cooked and chewed by the Chief of course. Another bee-yoo-ti-ful day for Chester White."

* Wookies and dwarves, man. You don't even wanna know.

Rondo

(Dig it! Someone was FINALLY hip enough to reference wookie pubeage! Now that's the stuff this game is made of! :O ) ²

Age of Fable

[Can I hear the commotion in the arena?]³

Max

[From the locker room, not in any king of identifiable way. If you leave the locker room you could probably check out a replay in one of the lounges off the tunnel. Are you following Chet?]

Age of Fable

Yep.

[I thought I might hear the commotion, and be able to say 'oh my God a riot!' as an excuse to escape]

---------------------------------
¹ Chester the orcish orderly's entire demeanor was determined by a few rolls on the 'NPC Facts & Traits' charts on pages 100-101 of the D&D 1e DMG. He is "sloppy, pessimistic, antagonistic, irreverent, but easy-going," which seemed like a fair description of one or two stoners I have known.

² Disputable.

³ Hobson's conversation with Chester takes place concurrently with certain slapstick antics of Quazarn & Rondo and the chaos that ensued.