Thursday, January 1, 2009

What's in Schleppy's Pockets?

Schleppy the Tote-Golem was one of the motley crew of brawlers who rallied to Creature, Buck and Zarko. Named by Zarko's player Will, I decided he was a warlock's homunculus fallen on hard times. Formerly the safe-keeper of a mighty array of magical gewgaws and rare spell components, he's been reduced to carrying around this junk:

d100
  1. turkey jerky
  2. socks
  3. toilet paper roll
  4. nail polish
  5. toothpaste
  6. souvenir key chain from Six Flags: GolbinWorld
  7. hairbrush
  8. cheese
  9. galoshes
  10. mascara
  11. banana peel
  12. seashells
  13. monkeys (1-4; 1% chance of enraged infernal ape)
  14. spent plutonium batteries
  15. swimsuit
  16. Mr Potato Head, a vegetable golem
  17. christmas tree (Terran religio-economic artifact)
  18. vacuum cleaner (barnacular eater of gremlins and space mites, valued by spaceship pilots)
  19. stones
  20. potted plants (1-4)
  21. one oak tree (acorn form; allow 30-40 years for growth to full height. 5% chance of baobabbler, braintree or wood-man seed)
  22. hangman's noose
  23. broom
  24. ten gallon hat
  25. umbrella
  26. sharpie or ballpoint pen
  27. computer monitor
  28. rooster eggs (1-3. 25% already fertilized, with cockatrice hatchlings due in 2-12 days. 5% chance cockatrices already hatched)
  29. beach ball
  30. fruity lip gloss
  31. travel bags
  32. radio (40% Lemon)
  33. skull (of random type)
  34. pink t-shirt
  35. newspaper
  36. black convertible
  37. box of cornflakes
  38. frog
  39. used tissue
  40. scissors
  41. cake
  42. rose
  43. lamp (1% gjenie lamp!)
  44. string cheese
  45. spam (either canned or the electronic variety, JM's choice)
  46. 8 silver credits
  47. 1991 Fnord Festiva with a busted tail light (runs, but needs hot-wiring and has 41% Lemon chance each hour of use)
  48. several thousand cinnamon Tic-Tacs
  49. scale model spacecraft
  50. condoms
  51. chocolate
  52. shoes
  53. duck
  54. towel
  55. lamp
  56. jar of peanut butter
  57. pickle
  58. mop
  59. whoopee cushion
  60. false teeth
  61. gum
  62. potato (20% chance of mashed)
  63. housefly
  64. gingerbread cookie
  65. pair of pliers
  66. laundry
  67. pretzel
  68. snowball (must be used within 1 minute unless weather conditions are favorable)
  69. soda
  70. clock
  71. chopsticks
  72. Jet Ski of the Ebon Slider (Allows true magical flight! Only one of a pair. If used alone the wearer will be levitated upside down by one foot; DEX check on d100 each round to maneuver)
  73. egg (95% edible egg of hen, serpent, spider, or roof lizard, 5% roll on Monster Table and use appropriate Edible chances)
  74. religious tract
  75. bunny slippers
  76. magic 8 ball (+10% See the Future; 1% cumulative chance of causing insanity per usage)
  77. bottle of nail polish remover
  78. sheet of graph paper
  79. Video Holograph Spectrum tape (an obsolete information storage device, contents determined by JM)
  80. hourglass
  81. tattered paperback or scroll (JM determines contents, e.g 25% romance novel, 25% Chariot of The Gods, 25% chapbook of wooky poetry, 20% joke book, 5% reroll, + contains 1-3 spells which will be discovered only if carefully examined)
  82. broken off car antenna
  83. a car alarm (Machine Friend to avoid triggering it)
  84. 5 gallon jar of change (Pieces of eight, silver shavings, god tokens, etc. Worth 10-100 + result of Enrich roll if successful)
  85. Mickey Mouse hat
  86. flag
  87. shoe
  88. orange peels
  89. trophy
  90. camera
  91. knife
  92. toilet
  93. bottle of beer
  94. cigarette
  95. instant sea monster mix
  96. flying saucer (equals Tenser's Floating Disc)
  97. pin-up mag
  98. child's blocks
  99. paper clips
  100. 100 raffle tickets

1 comment:

Will Douglas said...

That's awesome!

The "tote golem" I named Schleppy after was a creation of my old DM. I never learned much about them, because they were "way too cool" for us mere player characters to have access to.

I'm happy to see one out there, in the world!