Friday, January 16, 2009

The Brawl: Bullfinkle & Queen Rocky

Groping for the platypoid, Oolak finds himself clutching his own head. The duckbill is barely corporeal, and despite his attempt to redefine the word, Ensorcel is of no use. "Enough with the mumbo-jumbo, kid, just grab the thing," suggests a voice emanating from the vicinity of his armpit.

Minitron by BrotronWhile Oolak pats his head and talks to himself his companions charge! Zarko leads the way, bounding ahead of the ponderous frankenstein. The bull-headed 'droid lowers its horns and kicks at the dirt, but the lizardess stands calmly. Smiling, she draws back her hood, revealing a crest of scales and serpentine hair. Her face is proud and fierce and ugly and majestic: it turns your blood to stone and your will to jelly. Zarko, Creature and Oolak all freeze in place, struggling to resist the gorgon's stare...

drawing by Autumn Beckman[All three need to roll Psi-Resist. Zarko and Creature can press their attack if successful...]

Meanwhile Hobson gags on his hat, his mouth stuffed with felt and his cheeks puffed out like a greedy chipmunk. He finds the taste not at all to his liking, and he nearly chokes before spitting it out.

Olley laughs, a deep barrel-chested guffaw. "You knuckleheads couldn't knock down a dandelion. Buncha cheap shot hacks," he rumbles. "I'll show you a cheap shot."

He whips Hobson around like a shield, trying to block a low swing from Buck's club. He isn't quick enough, and Buck thumps him in the kidneys. It's a solid blow, and Olley winces, just a little. But the Cousin of Aarn counters with a furious blow, wielding Hobson as a club, and Buck is knocked helmet over hinder. For an instant the spaceman appears to float, weightless, drifting, falling, then he crashes home to earth. "How you like them apples?" shouts Olley. There's no reply.

Hanging on with all his might, Joey the wooky still rides on Olley's back. Jolted and jounced, he counts it a victory just to hang on. But when Olley stops to gloat he seems to forget all about his piggyback rider. Joey digs his thumbs into the bearded brawler's eyes, and Olley thrashes in pain!

[Hobson: take 6 damage from hat-choking and being used as a blunt weapon, Saving Throw for half.

[Joey: I treated this as a grapple, with eye gouge as your special Great Feat move. Your Feat roll didn't make it, but Olley rolled a 00 on his opposed Feat check, so you lucked out. Roll your damage!]


Tavis said...

[Awesome! Joey only has a 4% chance to pull off a Great Feat, so a fluke is what he needs. Scientific realism rocks!]

Hoping that he has blinded his enemy, Joey releases his grip on Ollie's neck, rolls clear of the big bruiser, and then shuts his own eyes and runs in the direction he thinks will take him past the gorgoness. "Hey, Ollie, how'd you like my homespun brand of aqueous humor?" he then shouts, hoping to entice O, CoA, SoA into a tussle with the lizardwoman.

[Rolled a 64 for whatever skill governs that, probably failing.
Save 77 also fails. Rolled a 66 to cover whatever else might happen this round, like Psi Resist or Survival, and probably fail at that too. Joey's stats really make me appreciate having beaten the bell curve with Thorax's 3d6, but it's fun to play him nevertheless.]

Will Douglas said...

Creature Psi Resist (-4%): Uh-oh!

Zarko Psi Resist (58%): 30

(Which is still an "Uh-Oh" because I have two hit points left and don't realize that Creature isn't behind me!

Ah, well; press the attack.

Max said...

[Re: Creature's Psi-Resist. Just to be clear, did you roll for him anyway? A roll of 01 will always succeed.]

Hobson said...

Made my saving roll! (rolled here:

Hobson said...

(my hat tastes hologrammy!)

Hobson tries to change his clothes to a pattern which will camouflage him. He then looks for an opportunity to trip someone up.

Max said...

[Re: hologram hat -- Should have rolled for disbelief!]

Hobson's efforts at disguise are hampered the fact he's still being wielded by a big hairy dude in spandex. Olley blinks and squints in pain, but he still clutches his hobling club (unarmored) -- i.e. you.

How to get loose of the big lug?

Dave said...

A diminuitive half lizard half man-boy in greasy coveralls waddles over toward the meleee. The allies he had made are now all in various states of lights out and he is seeking a new alliance.

"Youse guys got any butch wax or fuzzy dice? Nitris? I'm not so good in a fight, but I can play Rumble on my guitar. Oh, and I got a pocket rocket of Cybersovodskt if any of you want a snort," he says offering a bottle of clear liquid, looking for approval.

"They call me Awesome Dude."

Will Douglas said...

[Re: Creature's Psi-Resist. Just to be clear, did you roll for him anyway? A roll of 01 will always succeed.]

Yeah; he got a 64, so I just didn't bother mentioning it.

Max said...

Fighting off the gorgon's stare, Zarko springs at the lizardess. Sweeping her cloak like a matador she steps to one side, avoiding Zarko's attack. A serpentine coil of her hair snaps at him as he passes by.

Zarko spins around, hoping to see Creature pummel the imperious lizardess. But Creature isn't moving at all. He's frozen in place, his skin even greyer than normal, and the big 'stein can't budge an inch to defend against the charge of the mini-taur-borg. Though barely half as tall, the borg lowers his head and upends Creature with a toss of his horns. Still frozen, the frankenstein crashes to the ground like a toppled statue.

The bull-borg wheels around to face Zarko, lining up for another charge. It stands for a moment, steam curling from its snout-vents, then lowers its head...

A little way behind the bull-borg, Joey comes running. The wooky growls something over his shoulder at Olley, and the wrestler growls back. Half-blind and teary-eyed Olley tosses Hobson aside and runs after the wooky. The clown Wiggy Plop somersaults in front of Olley, but Olley kicks him away like a beach ball and keeps coming.

From its perch atop Oolak's shoulders the platypoid watches with horrid staring eyes. Irritated with Oolak's pawing, it nips the ape's thumb, then continues prodding at his skull with its bill.

[Unless your Saving Throw avoids damage entirely please make a second Save immediately (and I still need your Psi-Resist roll as well).]

Into all this commotion wanders the half-lizard somewhat misleadingly known as Awesome Dude. Before anyone friendly has a chance to reply, a 'roided out elf in spandex tights and a mortarboard swipes the vodka out of the lizard boy's hand. "Shouldn't you be in school, newt?" he sneers, taking a swig from the bottle.

Dave said...

RE: Shouldn't you be in school, newt?" he sneers, taking a swig from the bottle.

"As soon as 3'o'clock rolled around, I finally laid my burden down."

"Besides, everyone know school's for squares. There a jukebox around here? Maybe The Del Vikings can tame that mechano-bull-man."

Will attempt to position himself so that others are between him and the mini-taur-borg, and thus become invisible.

Tavis said...

With his eyes shut, is Joey aware of anything nearby that he could try to tackle? If not, he's going to try to keep taunting Ollie.

Max said...

Joey is having a hard time making sense of the noise of the brawl. Mostly he can hear Olley's voice behind him, bawling an impressive assortment of words Joey's be ashamed to have his sainted ma overhear. Logically speaking he's fairly sure he's still headed in the direction of the lizard queen.

Tavis said...

OK, Joey is going to continue trucking in that direction until bumps into the lizard queen, or hears Ollie do so. [Let me know if I should make saves etc.]

Will Douglas said...

Since the bull-droid is occupied with Creature, Zarko makes a bold, daring attack on the lizard-woman.

Melee Attack..........55% 19
Melee Damage..........+0 01
Saving Throw..........37% 50

So I hit, but I'm probably screwed anyway...what else is new? Rock and roll!

Max said...

[Zarko: "Since the bull-droid is occupied with Creature, Zarko makes a bold, daring attack on the lizard-woman."

Allow me to repeat, with added emphasis: "[T]he frankenstein crashes to the ground like a toppled statue.

The bull-borg wheels around to face *Zarko,* lining up for another charge. It stands for a moment, steam curling from its snout-vents, then lowers its head..."

Still want to punch Mam'zell Medusa?

Will Douglas said...

Sorry, I missed that.

No, I'll go ahead and take on the robot. Somebody has to.

Max said...

Awesome D: ""Besides, everyone know school's for squares."

The elf takes another swig, then tips the bottle, pouring the rest onto the ground. Straightening his mortarboard he declares, "You need to learn the value of a proper education, reptile. And class is in session."

The elf bends low in a wrestler's stance, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

[Roll Initiative along with whatever else you're gonna do]

Dave said...

The elf bends low in a wrestler's stance, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

Awesome Dude says,

"Sitting in the classroom
Thinking it's a drag
Listening to the teacher rap
Just ain't my bag"

Initative is a 7-2 = 5

Crowd Manipulation 6%

"Hey, this Melvin is trying to impose his values on me...with violence! Let's rumble him!"

Roll = Fail 72%

Melee Attack 45%

"This is for dumping our my booze, nerd."

Roll = Fail 66%

Max said...

Zarko sighs heavily and stands his ground against the bull-droid. He's fast enough to throw a short jab just before it runs him over. His fist bounces off the droid's armored head, which turns out to be a small mercy: When the bull hooks him with a horn and flips him into the air, the pain in his hand is all he can think of. This distracts him from the goring, the vertigo, the crunching and the trampling.

[Phew, that was close. You're at -9 HP. If you choose you can roll Survival to fight on. But remember that at -12 you'll be dead.]

Joey plows forward with his eyes shut against the lizard queen's stoning glance, and the sound of Zarko's thrashing doesn't tempt him to take a peek, that's for sure. He veers past where he hopes the lizardess still is. Any minute now...there! He hears her hiss quietly to his right.


Her voice is as old as hollow-eyed monoliths in ancient ruins, as cold as a rainy afternoon in a rock gnome's garden, and as cruel as an earth gjenie's final wish. She sounds like a stone bitch, metaphorically speaking.

Joey feels his knees buckle, but the feeling passes and he stumbles on past the lizardess. Unfortunately, so does Olley. The wooky hears the wrestler hard on his heels, and when he steals a glance, Olley's bloodshot eyes stare back.

Oolak, meanwhile, has Resisted the lizardess, and pulls away his finger before the platypoid sinks in its teeth [Psi-Resist=20, Save=22]. Unfortunately he seems befuddled by the chaos of the Brawl, and does nothing further. "Jeez, c'mon kid, get yer head in the game," urges the voice from his underarm. The platypoid taps at his sagittal crest with its bill.

Awesome Dude tries to rally the fighters nearby, but his voice comes out all squeaky and no one hears. Undaunted, he aims a kick at the elf's knees. The elf slaps a palm on top of the lizard lad's head, squashing his frill* and holding him back at arm's length. Awesome D pumps his legs but can't reach the elf.

[*Guess you'll have to bust out the Fryl Cream and tighten that up, ayyy?

[The elf got initiative and started a grapple, so I interpreted your Save as a Feat roll per the rules here.]

Max said...

[If you don't want to risk Zarko's life, feel free to pick an NPC to run, Will. List is here. Nix the Wiggy Plop and the ratling. I can email or message you the stats.

[Alternately we can cut away to tie up loose ends with Darryl's Mom]

Dave said...

Awesome D pumps his legs but can't reach the elf.

[*Guess you'll have to bust out the Fryl Cream and tighten that up, ayyy?

"Ok...unkle. I never had what it took to be a fighter, and the books was always no good neither."

Appease 56%

"But if you help me, I'll help you, and then, when I get my wheels, you and I will race for it, like, you know, the guys who made the football team. Skin it?"

Awesome Dude offers his hand palm up to the brawling baccalaurean elf.

Roll = WIN! 36%

Will Douglas said...

Zarko collapses to the ground, unconscious, knowing that the nice young beings with the stretchers will be along shortly to carry him someplace pleasant.

OOC: I gave it my best shot!

Anyway, now I'll be flat broke, so that's a spur to further adventuring!

Tavis said...

Seeing that Ollie is still pursuing him, Joey will put on another burst of speed, then drop to the ground and try to trip the big oaf.

[Sneak Attack? 90, fail in any case.
Save 19, success, and 70 extra roll just in case.]

Max said...

The elf raises an eyebrow haughtily at Awesome Dude. "You? Help me? You want to trade favors with The Head Masher? I should bend you over my knee for, you little brat," he sneers.

"But as everyone knows, I am a true humanitarian. First thing, not another word of that idiotic slang. Second, make yourself useful: go distract that ape while I set up for my finisher." The Head Masher points at Oolak.

"And watch closely. You might learn something about the power of the scholar."

Oolak seems plenty distracted as it is. Perhaps it's the skeletal beastie clambering about his head. Or perhaps he's cheering on the inside for Joey the wooky. For a moment things look pretty bad. The skinny wooky drops and rolls, trying to trip up Olley. The big tough isn't fooled.

Olley leaps over Joey and throws himself backward with a spinning fist drop. But the deadly attack misses! Joey's still rolling away when Olley slams down hard on the dirt. The wrestler rolls onto his back, clutching his wrist.

Dave said...

Awesome Dude steps out from behind the rubble and approaches the Ape monster with his hands out, palm down.

"Hey, sugar butt. I saw you from over there, and I was wondering if you wanted to hop over to the lunch counter and split a milkshake? I don't have any wheels yet, but I could tell you about how Buick Posi-Track works???"

Monster Friend 32%

Roll = WIN!!! 13!!!

"Hey, don't worry. My name's Larky er,...I'm Awesome Dude, and I'll...take you roller skating and I'll push dudes let 'em know where I stand..."

Tavis said...

Joey is happy to leave Ollie in the dust - that dude is scary. Who else is threatening him?

Max said...

At the sound of A.D.'s voice Oolak looks up in bewilderment, trying to make sense of the lizard boy's patois. He opens his mouth to speak, but a yell from the elf wrestler cuts him off. The Head Masher takes a running leap at the ape, trying for a flying scissor kick. "Duck," suggests a small voice from the vicinity of Oolak's armpit, and duck he does. The Head Masher smashes down ass-first and lays on his back groaning.

Oolak shrugs and once again grabs for the platypoid. This time he seizes hold of the thing and flips it tail over beak at the lizardess! She takes a single step to the side and the platypoid sails past. The she-lizard fixes her faceted eyes on Oolak and Awesome Dude. Behind her the thought-eater wheels around with a snap of its tail, its beak still gaping with hunger.

At the lizard queen's side is her little iron bull, standing over Zarko's battered body, puffing steam. Stomping one last time on the ape's ribs, the 'droid turns its long-horned head toward Olley. The blond grappler stands up, still shaking his sore wrist. He smacks his chest with his other hand and motions the bull 'droid forward.

Joey, rolling to a crouch in the middle, feels threatened by both of them.

[Hobson: last we heard from you, you were "look[ing] for an opportunity to trip someone up." You can chime in anytime if you want to mix it up with any of the foes just described, or you can seek trouble elsewhere. The ranks have thinned, but there are still plenty of ruffians prowling the arena...]

Dave said...

Saving throw vs. the gaze of Dizzy Miss Lizzy.

71 = FAIL!!!

"you better watch that thing you better watch out, I ain't lyin...I put a spell on you..."

Tavis said...

Man, that Ollie is hard to shake! Joey will take the bull droid by the horns and use it like a club to beat the wrestler.

[Rolled an 09 to start that action, sounds good! If a second roll's needed, it's an 89. Damage, should there be any, is 3.

Saving throw 78, fail. An extra one if needed is a 21, succeed.]

Max said...

A.D. strains so hard trying to resist the lizard queen that his frill turns purple. He strains so hard, in fact, the he gets a nasty crick in his neck. As he hops around trying to ease the pain he realizes that he hasn't turned to stone after all.

Trapped between a bull and a hard case, Joey shows extraordinary bravery. Either that or a lack of skill at risk-assessment. The skinny wooky braces himself to meet Bullfink's charge: shoulders square, knees bent, hips low...

Too slow. The 'droid cracks Joey square in the chest, sending the wooky crashing into Olley. The big wrestler doesn't budge an inch. "Outta my way, q-tip," he curses, shoving Joey aside and rushing Bullfink. Olley lands an elbow smash that dents the 'droid's snout, but Bullfink seems far from finked out.

[Joey takes 5 HP damage, leaving him with just 1. He's last on the initiative count, so he can still take his stated action, or modify per events.]

Hobson said...

[OOC - roughly how long do you think the Rumble will last, in real time?]

Max said...

[re: Brawl? More Like the Sprawl, What?

[Awesome Dude and Hobson are the only two PCs left in the arena. Tavis's main PC got knocked out so he's been running Joey. How long the Brawl goes on depends on your luck. But neither of you is exactly a damage machine, and the opponents will just keep getting tougher.

[Keep in mind that you guys can leave anytime you like via the retreat chutes or the center ramp. Go get a soda, bother Chief Tallbard, whatever. I'll run with it.]

Dave said...

"CHEESE IT!" - I run for the exit.

Tavis said...

Joey sees a lizard boy running for the exits. His hairy wookie feet do the same.

"Hey, what's going on?" says Joey's punch-drunk brain. "Must stay and fight!"

"We can fight the lizard when we catch up to him," Joey's feet lie.

Max said...

A.D. and Joey hotfoot it to the nearest retreat chute. Behind them iron and flesh clash as Olley and the Bull trade brutal headbutts, nearly knocking each other out.

Lizard and wooky tumble down the chute, landing in a tangle of coarse but springy netting set up in the corner of a basement lounge paneled in imitation Vulkeen hardwood. The room's crowded with fellow losers -- the bruised and the bushwhacked, the choked-out and the chickenshit. The biggest crowds are clustered around a holovid watching the Brawl, and lined up at a concession window.

Dave said...

"Anyone got any vodka?"

Tavis said...

"I'm Joey," Joey says. "Let's drink to our survival!" He goes to stand in the concession line, checking his pockets for change.

Max said...

[Pockets? On a wooky?]

A dwarf maiden behind Joey in line tugs her braided beard and scowls at the sight of the wooky scratching at himself. "There's a time and a place, bub."

Joey remembers the 15 GC hidden in the lining of his coonskin cap.

Max said...

New in character thread is here.