The Brawl: Mini-Magog and the Elven Mauler Scholars

After a quiet night trouble finds our fearless few once again. On one side is a runty tricephaloid giant, on the other side are three elf wrestlers working a PhD angle. Coffee break's over.

Rondo

Buck, at first, starts grinning at the 3 headed micro-giant heading towards him, that should grow in perspective, but instead shrinks as he moves towards the party. Then he hears the elves in mortar boards, spins and takes in their proclamation of 'ass kicking being in session,' and bursts out laughing. Buck is gonna attempt to grab and lift one of the PhD. elves over his head in order to chuck him at the giant when the giant is on top of us.

(I rolled a 4 on my hit point restore a second ago)
Attack: 46%
Damage: not sure what to roll, if any
Save: 22% (missed by a point, I think)

Max

[Sounds awe-some, dude. This is a grapple, so we'll count that 46% as a Feat roll. The elf gets to oppose with his own Feat roll.

[In order to pick him and throw him you'll need to succeed with a Great Feat. In order to pick him and throw him *at the giant* you'll need to succeed at, hmmm, two Great Feats. The giant and the elves are a ways away from each other, so you'll have to carry the elf for awhile to get within elf-chucking range.

Rondo

Buck picks the Elf up like a ragdoll, I think...I rolled an 8% for the first Great Feat! As I walk to chuck him, I roll a 71 % for the second Great Feat, which I'm hoping means he gets chucked elbows over ass, but I think I missed the 'giant.'

Coffee

Zarko takes a coffee and pops the lid off of the to-go cup. He sips it idly as he walks over and studies the elves.

He smirks, as if these guys won't be too tough to beat at all.

Then he throws the coffee in the face of one of them (I'm leaning toward the Head Masher here, but I don't know which one Buck grabbed), upon whom he then launches a Sneak Attack.

Initiative (+4): 14
Sneak Attack (62): 08 (!)
Damage (+0): 1
Saving Throw (37): 95 (I'm so screwed...)

wulfgar

Creature chugs a couple coffees and waits to see if the elves and the giant come to hurt us or help us.

Never mind, they seem hostile.

Attack: 34% Hit
damage: 10
Save: 21% make

Creature throat punches the giant.

Max

Zarko's got a cunning plan, but Head Masher knows a thing or two about dirty tricks. He blocks the coffee cup with one hand, yelling as the scalding coffee burns his arm, and brushes aside the ape's sucker punch. The elf clinches with Zarko, and grinds his knuckles brutally against the ape's temple. He's able to squirm loose of the elf wrestler, but he can barely see straight.

[10 HP damage. When you get a noogie from The Head Masher, you feel it.

[As before, when you Sneak Attack a wary opponent they get a chance to Guard, and H.M. made his roll. But I gave you a Happenstance roll that the coffee was hot enough to be a missile weapon, so you still ended up hurting him.]

Buck isn't quite as quick as Zarko. Before he can grab his man the elves set up for some fancy maneuvers of their own. Doctor Dropkick drops to all fours, and Professor Pain vaults onto his back. Leaping off in a move known to students of Elf Championship Wrasslin' as the Deconstructor, he plunges toward Buck in a pre-emergent paradox of postmodern punching power. Lucky for Buck, the professor's calculations are off and he sails right overhead, belly-flopping in the dust.

Buck grabs the fallen elf and tries to hoist him over his back in a fireman's carry. At first the elf rolls free, but Buck gets hold of him again and heaves him onto his shoulders. The elf thrashes wildly as Buck staggers toward the giant, peppering Buck with rabbit punches. Buck struggles and hurls the elf -- he's well short of the giant, but he slams down the elf with a satisfying thud.

[Take 5 HP from punches -- you can make a Saving Throw as normal. Roll your attack damage for tossing the elf on his head d3 and, what the heck, add +2 for missile damage].

Max

wulfgar
Creature throat punches the giant.

Each of the giant's heads roars as it approaches:
"Fee Fi..."
"...Fo Fine..."
"...I smell...I smell..."
"It's 'the blood of a frankenstein,' you numskull."
"BLOOD!! I smell BLOOD!!"

'Stein and giant charge each other and the two heavyweights trade mighty blows. Flexing his Adam's apple in a fearsome display of manliness, Creature punches the giant in the stomach with his own throat. The giant grunts, his pot belly rippling with the blow, and counters with fists and feet. Creature catches a fist on his shield, and spins away from a kick. The giant swings down a second fist...

[Need an extra Saving Throw from you here, and then you can fill in what happens to Creature based on whether he takes full, half or no damage (saving against 2 hp damage, so it's not a crushing blow).

[Mini-Magog attacks 3/round, so go ahead and give me 3 Saves when you fight him.

[Did you ever roll for HP healed overnight, Wulf? You get back d4. And take 2 HP from the Giant's fist gonging off your shield, plus whatever his second punch deals.

Rondo

Save: 11% (made it.)
Damage on the elf: 3

Am I within range of the giant since he's ontop of Creech? Just curious.

Max

[Sure, but the elf wrestler you tossed is between you and Mini-Magog.

[I rolled initiative for Buck & Creech for that last round. Could you each roll when you take your actions for this next round? (Zarko's roll of 14 stays as it is)]

wulfgar

Healed 3 Hit points.

Missed my saving throw with a 63%.

Creature takes a blow to the head that sprains one of his cranial feelers and makes him bite his own tounge.

"OW"

Rondo

3 total on initiative on this end....

Max

[I'll be able to update at lunch, so if you dudes get a chance let me know your next move, attack rolls, damage, etc.

[General Note: I've been letting you guys take center stage, with your posse mostly standing around, but in case it's not clear you can think of them as henchmen. Feel free to interact with 'em and give orders, etc.]

Coffee

"Don't just stand there!" Zarko roars, backing away from the elf and pointing at him. "This is the audience participation part of the show, guys! Get him!"

(Zarko is badly hurt, but not out yet. I'm hoping my boys will take care of the creep. I'm going on full defensive this round, though.)

Save (37%): 48

Or, y'know, not.

wulfgar

Creature spews hot coffee in the face of the giant.

Attack: 32% HIT
Damage: ???? What does hot coffee in the face do? Hopefully scald his eyeballs!
Saving throws: 82,3,83 Made 1, missed the other 2.

Max

[By spew d'you mean spitting coffee in his face? Cos if it's hot enough to scald his eyes it's hot enough to burn yo tongue...]

wulfgar

Yes, I mean summon the coffee within me that I just drank, up my esophogus and out my mouth. My thinking is that while it may be scalding to a giant's eyeballs, it might just be a nice warm drink to the digestive system of a Frankenstein.

Unpleasant Order: 34% Made
Feat: 79% Made lesser, missed Greater

Do those help?

Rondo

ha!!!

Max

[How can I argue with that?]

"I've killed five--" "No, it's seven, you jackass." "How many times do we have to tell you? It's seven men with a single blow." Mini-Magog seems surprised that Creature hasn't fallen before his giantly might. He throws three more distracted punches, and looks very peevish when not a one of them connects.

Peevish doesn't even begin to describe the look on his face when Creature barfs on him. He dodges away from the worst of it, but when the acidic brew spew begins sizzling away at the gold medallions on his chest all three heads scream in rage!

[Lessee, can't really give you a strength bonus here, so here ya go: roll d6 twice and take the higher for damage. Don't think you can make Bulimic Brawling a habit though, lest you suffer Deluxe Acid Reflux Deliquescence]

wulfgar

6 damage for the Java Vomit attack. (rolled a 2 and a 6)

Rondo

(Take that you 3-stooges-headed-mofo!!)

I'll try to grab the nearest elf by the collar and nail him in the face as hard as I can.

Attack: 5% (ouch for him!)
Damage: 3 rolled
Save: 18% (made it again! I can't believe it)

Max

When Buck reaches down to drag the elf to his feet, the crafty wrestler grabs his arms and boots Buck in the stomach. The elf tries to launch him with an airplane kick but Buck manages to pull his arms free. When Professor Pain scrambles to his feet Buck taps him with a jab.

[Buck takes 3 HP damage]

Coffee
"Don't just stand there!" Zarko roars, backing away from the elf and pointing at him. "This is the audience participation part of the show, guys! Get him!"

Despite the burning pain of his head-mashing Zarko keeps his battle advantage. Stalwart Bob the Fighter moves to stand between Zarko and the Masher, and the ape retreats to safety.

The Head-Masher throws himself at Bob, eager to punish his insolence. They crash into each other, but neither fighter lands a telling blow. Meanwhile, Malone roars up to Doctor Dropkick like a freight train fueled by cuss words...and gets his potty mouth shut by a boot to the face. Malone goes out like a f*&#ing light.

The grizzled orangutan Philimon steps over the cyclopean, moving in warily. He bobs and weaves from side to side, darts in with a low kick, but misses.

Rondo

I'm gonna try stompin' his face in...
Attack: 20% (made it)
Damage: 4
Save: 64% (missed)

Coffee

Zarko is pretty much knocked around, so he'll be avoiding any specific fighting unless he absolutely has to get involved. So he'll hang around the fringes of the fights and make suggestions to those who are still hale and hearty.

Max

Buck and the Professor slug it out toe-to-toe. The elf lands a stinging palm strike to Buck's chest, but the spacer steps back and delivers a solid head kick. The Professor's mortarboard goes flying off, but the elf shakes his head and raises his fists.

Meanwhile Bob and Philimon continue battling the other two-thirds of the School of Pain. Bob catches a backhand, but Doctor Dropkick misses a fancy double kick and ends up sprawling. Taking full advantage of a brachiator's reach, Philimon wallops him in the gut, knocking the wind out of him.

Zarko doesn't have much time for kibbitzing. Leeplo the Man-Frog bounces up to him, croaking in panic. "Hell's br-r-r-reaking loobse, Zar-r-r-ko!"

Sure enough, fighters are moving in on all sides. One of the knucklehead teens who joined your crew overnight is already down....

Rondo

Buck goes for an elbow to the back of the neck...
Attack: 5% (smokin' made it)
Damage: 2 (not sure if i get a bonus for anything...probably not)
Save: 90% (failed)

Max

Professor Pain tries to clothesline Buck, but he ducks. As the elf runs past Buck swings his elbow sharply and thwacks him in the back of the head! The elf grunts and tumbles forward, down...but not out. The elf surges back to his feet, teeth clenched. His breath is ragged and his eyes are wild as he lunges for Buck's throat...

[Let's have a new initiative roll here. He went down but Survived, so you might get a chance to better your init count]

Elsewhere, big dudes clash. Creature and Mini-Magog are locked in a clinch, each straining every muscle for an advantage. With a twist M-M throws Creature to one side, lashing out with punches and a brutal knee. One punch mashes the frankenstein's ear, but Creature's swings his iron shield around to block the knee strike. With a sound like the Lost Bell of Anahat Nada* the giant's knee bwongs off the shield, bending it nearly in half.

[3 HP damage from the punch. To keep things moving I used your saving throws from this post; all of the giants attacks that round missed you anyway. The good news is the shield prevented you from taking damage from a critical hit. The bad news is it now only gives a 14% Save bonus]

*Anahat Nada, a Sulduku Hierophant known chiefly for a 27 year vow of silence broken one groggy morning when he kicked his morning alarm bell so hard as to break three toes. In despair he cast the bell into the Sea of Great Peril, from whence it has never yet been recovered.

Coffee

Zarko moves as close to Creature as he can; the big guy is still my meal ticket. Any fighting I do will be in self defense or to aid Creature (or Buck, but he seems to be doing okay).

I'll call on the rest of the gang to form a tight perimeter, so we can contain the attacks against us and only present out best faces to the attackers.

Hobson & Quazarn Disappear...(One of them literally)

Not getting anywhere with the ratling Ika Norvegova, Hobson and Quazarn vamoose.

Age of Fable

Max
The Remulaki grunts through a morbid psychometric fog, "Where oh where will my little donkey go?" With a shudder he...stands, ready to follow Hobson.

We leave.

I'll change back into police officer clothes, and hold Quazarn's arm in an 'arresting you' style, in case the robot is still out the front.

Max

[The camera-droid, you mean? She's back at the ramp leading into the arena]

Hobson marches Quazarn out of the beer garden. The nattering of the baobabbler fades into the noise of the crowd. The hobling doesn't spot any Brawl uniforms yet, and no sign of Chief Tallbard either.

[Where to? The scene is something like a carnival midway, with concessions and souvenir stands as well as betting and viewing tents. The vendors' tents abut a low, sprawling manse; behind the house rise up the walls of the arena. The front lawn of the manse is an impromptu parking lot.]

Age of Fable

Away! I look for an exit where we can leave without attracting attention.

Max

Pausing at a statue of a Vulkin scholar of old, Hobson hops onto the pedestal and susses his options. There's a fair amount of foot traffic to and from the parking lot. Beyond the beer garden stretches an overgrown hedge marking the boundary of the estate, continuing on beyond the manse and forming a sort of alley with the palisade like wall of the arena. Other than a few stoners swinging a censer amongst themselves there are hardly any people that way.

The guards in the towers on the arena are mostly faced inwards, watching the Brawl.

Age of Fable

Are there any taxis or public transport?

Max

[Nope, but how Green of you to ask ;).

[You were asleep during the trip here, so you're not certain exactly where you are, but if you had to guess you'd say it was the Elvesbeard Heights, a formerly well-heeled neighborhood mostly abandoned and run-down since the galactic nav-beam failed and Vanth got cut off from the spaceways. Northern suburb of God City.]

Age of Fable

"Quazarn, can you cast some kind of don't-look-at-us spell?"

Max

[Since the good Doc has been doing an impressive invisibility act of his own , I'll field this. As a warlock Quaz can make himself invisible using his Invisibility percentile chances. Since he's not currently the center of attention he can do this at no ability cost. He would need to use a spell to make others invisible.

[Hobson can use Invisible to blend in with the crowd and be generally inconspicuous. Sneak might also be useful, depending on what you hope to do.]

Age of Fable

OK - I ask him to render himself invisible.

If it works, I'll just walk out of here, being as inconspicuous as possible.

Max

The warlock disappears! Erm, completely. Not only is he invisible, but completely silent, odorless and possibly incorporeal as well: Hobson touches nothing when he reaches a hand into the space where Quazarn stood an instant ago.

With a shrug, the hobling sets off, trusting the moody warlock to keep up with him.

[I made the Invisibility roll myself rather than make you wait, Fable. You out there Doc?

[Now, where exactly are you headed?]

Age of Fable

I'll have a feel around to see if I can find Quazarn.

To allay suspicion from onlookers, I'll make it look like I'm doing interpretative dance.

Max

You draw a few curious stares. It isn't every day one sees a cop suddenly start dancing. Still no sign of the warlock though.

Age of Fable

I guess I'll just change into civilian clothes (once no one's looking at me), and walk out.

Max

[Out could mean many things from here. The main choices obvious to Hobson are out toward the road, through the hedge to the property next door. You could also try sneaking around back.]

Age of Fable

Out towards the road.

Max

Hobson strolls through the parking lot with hasty nonchalance. He avoids a pack of trelves, nasty customers with lightning rod javelins and silvery dead eyes, astride bat-winged jet-bikes.

The street is a tree-lined boulevard grown unkempt. The statues and fountains in the median are broken, looted or overgrown with vines. There are other mansions along the boulevard, set well back from the street. Their lawns are unmowed, grass shoulder high and gone to seed.

Age of Fable

I'm going to try and find an abandoned mansion where I can hide in the grass until Quazarn finds me, or until the Rumble ends and I can find the others.

Max

Hobson crosses the street and ducks into the dry ditch on the other side. Still no sign of Quazarn -- no crunch on the gravel shoulder of the road, no bent stalks of grass.

Confident he's unseen the hobling does a little recon. The neighborhood was pretty ritzy, not so long ago. The nearest mansion is a rather hideous pile of pseudo-timber and brick-o-foam, sprayed and quick-set to resemble a hybrid of geodesic dome and mushroom village. Its doors and windows are boarded up. Beyond that the street curves, and a driveway leads off the street in the outer bend. The drive disappears over a low hill, but close to the road there's a squat brick carriage house just beyond a rusty gate.
--------------------------------
What happens next to Hobson & Quazarn is so far unrevealed...both reappeared amongst their brawling broethren the next morning, but so far their tales are untold. The sudden forcible return of Quazarn to his home planet makes it unlikely that we'll ever learn how he spent his incorporeal hours.

In the case of Hobson one can speculate: perhaps he whiled away the hours playing whist with a wooky hobo, or avoiding the attentions of a robo-butler gone haywire. Perhaps while scouting the carriage house mentioned above, Hobson was set upon by two killer mockingbirds and an atticus finch, and dove into a yellow patch of flowers to hide. Safe from the birds, the flowers caused an allergic reaction and Hobson began to feel feverish and drowsy. In short, he reacted to the rue badly.

But this only the idle speculation of a pun-addled brain (Don't blame me. Blame the table of Adventure Ideas from Puns to be found here.)

The Brawl: Keg Stands & Coffee Breaks

The wookies defeated, the lads get a few hours of rest...

Max

You and your fighters relax again after the wookies are defeated. Someone rolls in a keg, and Schleppy rummages up a stack of plastic cups from one of his pockets. The Tenmen play till midnight, ending with a 20 minute version of something called "Surfin Bird." Pinching his mouth disapprovingly, Philimon laments the damaging influence of Terran religious music on Vanthian popular culture. He seems poised to launch into a lengthy diatribe when Abdul Nomascus silences him with a raised eyebrow.

As the show wears on the crowd begin to get frisky. Moods darken and fights break out in the crush of bodies near the stage. No doubt the kegs of dwarf grog and ale contribute to the delinquency of the brawlers. Thanks to your watches no one bugs you.

However, a few of your crew find trouble on their own. Wiggy Plop and a few others sneak off to watch the Tenmen up close, and not all of them make it back. One of the klengon deserters loses a headbutting contest with a rock gnome. The motor-mouthed Sugar Ray Rocketblaster yaps to the wrong chap and ends up eating his words, with a fistful of knuckles for an appetizer.

Muruzabal and the hobling Harmon Brewster polish off the keg in an all-night drinking contest. The mad amazon passes out during an ill-advised keg stand and is rolled off in the tarp by fast-moving goblin medics.

Happily, you draw new fighters to your ranks, and by morning your crew is 16 strong, not counting Creature, Buck and Zarko.

[Anyone who took damage heals 1-4 HP]

[Sorry to blow off last night guys. Hella busy day at work yesterday; needed to chill last night. Probably won't post much till evening -- feel free to chat amongst yourselves, talk to your crew, etc.]

Rondo

Buck and Zarko are keeping their eyes peeled for any action that might be heading their way. "Wonder if I should just start something," Buck says looking for another fight to get him towards the end of this thing. "How's Creature holding up?" he asks Zarko...he also surveys some of our new crowd, taking stock of what sort of gang is on hand in case things heat up soon.

wulfgar

"Creature...ok...been..better..though."

(I haven't read every post, did we ever hear anything about Darryl? I should be back on track for checking in at least once a day on weekdays.)

Rondo

(we've discovered literally NIL on the Daryl situation...I'm pretty concerned about that as well).

Coffee

On the other hand, we really don't have any reason to believe Daryl is in any trouble.

He wanted to fight, he fought. Then he got knocked out. Then they hauled him away, like they do with everyone.

My guess is, he's sitting up there with Mama, watching us and cringing every time we do something he disagrees with.

Rondo

You may be right, Coffee, at least by all logical 'game appearances.'

Max

Around dawn the goons are back. Under the whips of a team of drovers, they haul out a cart filled with tarnished robo-perc units, and roll empty kegs down the ramp. Bleary, bruised and grumpy fighter line up for coffee. No rolls are served.

[Dudes, sorry. Totally fell asleep on the couch after watching Wild Zero on the dvd last night.]

wulfgar

About how many contestants are left in the brawl?

Max

[Maybe a hundred? Most of them look to be tough hombres. Yours is probably the largest crew -- but judging by appearances not necessarily the baddest.]

Max

Buck checks out the new recruits, and finds them mostly a sorry lot. There's a pair of human twin brothers barely old enough to shave, a planetary ape with the mange and a red-faced, overweight vulkin. Buck can't figure how any of 'em made it through yesterday.

A bit more promising is a sneering ratling and a strapping lizard man shaman, both of whom are a bit banged up but eager for action. Rounding out the new meat are a lanky wooky in a coonskin cap and dusky-skinned human with a sly grin.

[You can give these guys names if you want to. More later, as time allows.]

Max
[Anyone who took damage heals 1-4 HP]

[No need to make a separate post for it, but let me know how many HP you've healed next time you post.]

Coffee

I think I only took one point, so I'll say that I rolled a 1. (If my ability to scan back through messages is impaired, and I actually took more than one point, please let me know...)

Max

Unbidden, Bob the Fighter and One Eye Malone make a coffee run for the crew. The 'run' part turns out to be literal, as the two of them jog back to camp as quickly as they can laden down with 10 coffees each.

"Trouble coming!" calls out Bob, motioning over his head with a jerk of his head. "Three-motherf*c%ing-headed $h#t-damned giant," adds Malone.

Well, technically a giant. At first you don't see him at all. Then you realize that this particular giant is only seven feet tall. It's three-headed for sure, though, and it definitely looks P-Oed. It stomps deliberately across the arena, sweeping aside anyone foolish enough not to clear aside.

At the same time there's an alarm from the rear! A trio of elves in graduation gowns and mortar boards struts up to your perimeter. "Doctor Dropkick! Professor Pain! The Head-Masher!" Each in turn strips down to a speedo and wrestling boots. "Ass-kicking class is now in session!"

Hobson & Quazarn in A Clockwork Sombrero

Quazarn & Hobson attempt to rendezvous with a ratling fixer...

[despite adding a link to a groovy Nadsat glossary to my forum signature I now suspect the ratling's Clockwork Orange derived slang got old quick. For convenience I've added mouse-over translations here.]

Max

Age of Fable
Noticing that Quazarn seems to have had another attack, Hobson will try to follow the ratling, observing her while being unobserved if possible.

[rolled a 55]

Dr Rotwang!
Surreptitiously, Quazarn follows the ratling.

The ratling is nowhere to be seen. However, it seems Logical to Hobson that she probably intended to meet them in the beer garden, so the two of you make your way there as inconspicuously as you can.

As you sidle into the deep shade of the baobabbler tree it takes a moment for your eyes to adjust to the gloom, and for your ears to tune out the constant chattering of the tree.*

"Hisst," says a low voice, just two tables over. It's the ratling. "You are like sore thumbs, sticking out. Sit!"

[*This, naturally, is a domestic baobabbler, and thus merely annoying. The voice of the wild baobabbler is rumored to cause agonizing headaches, tympanal edema and contagious glossolalia.]

Dr Rotwang!

Quazarn sits.

Max

The ratling regards Quazarn through rosy pink eyes. Her thick Slavic accent tells you her forebears must have migrated to Vanth via a Roosky colony ship.

"That thing you mentioned. Buying or selling?"

Dr Rotwang!

"Buying."

[Max -- you're kind of running two games now and it's all my fault. How do we get the band back together?]

Max

[It's really not a thing, Doc! PbP works very well for divided parties -- I can attend to each group based on the speed of your posts without forcing anyone to sit around. Remember, Fable/Hobson never really wanted to fight in the Brawl anyway, so don't feel bad.

[That said, if either side feels things are sputtering or stalled, let me know. I'm having a blast with this -- and I want all of you to be having a blast (having blasts?) too!]

rondo

(I got no problems with the split game...it's a blast anyway you slice it, thanks to some great players and an visionary JM. I would like us to float back together at some point too, but I'm sure we'll work it out).

Max

Max

"That thing you mentioned. Buying or selling?"

Dr Rotwang!
"Buying."

"I maybe have what you are looking for. Expensive goods, no?"

Glancing at Hobson she chitters impatiently, "Sit down, malenky. Pony?"

Dr Rotwang!

"Well," replies Quazarn flatly, but not impolitely, "I'm simply interested in a regular Ontobian sombreroid -- no fancy haberdashery, merely the traditional transfelt and blam-wicker...show us what you have, for I am in the market." He flashes a big, friendly smile. Everybody likes Quazarn!


Max

[phew, sure am glad to find out what the heck an Ontobian sombreroid is!]

Max

[What's up with Hobson?]

Age of Fable

I'm keeping a regular eye on things, but I have no strong opinions on the sombrero industry.

Max

"Vat can I say, droog? Ever since Ontobian Sanz Chapeau Rebellion prices go up and up. And there is price on your gulliver too. Adds up, da?" Her eyes twinkle with sinister mirth.

Age of Fable

"Oh I get it...this is a shakedown. Well it won't work, see? Because...well, because we don't have any money. But, we do happen to know the location of an enormous pile of cheese."

Max

Twitching her whiskers the ratling smirks. With deliberate movements she reaches into her leather jacket, unsheathes a wicked stiletto, and sets it gently on the table.

"I am vegetarian, malenky."

Age of Fable

"An enormous pile...of soy cheese."

"Also, you probably mean vegan."

Max

"Sha, child! Shut your chumble, em and pee are talking," she says dismissively, turning to Quazarn. Her hand rests lightly now on the handle of the knife. The sharp nails on her fingers are painted the pink to match her eyes.

Some time passes without a post from the Good Dr Rotwang...

Age of Fable

"No you're not, you're just sitting there."

Max

After an awkward pause the rat-girl sighs and rolls her eyes. Leaning across the table she snaps her fingers in front of Quazarn's face. "Bog-damn bezoomy shoot," she mutters to herself.

She pockets her knife and turns to the hobling. "This pointy head eggiweg is terrible warlock? Who would fear this sneetnik, always day dreaming? How can I bargain with a stone?"

Age of Fable

"Don't ask me - last time I tried to talk to you I didn't even get a roll."

Max

"Roll? Now you vant bread. Always you are talking about food, malenky."

[If you want to roll against a skill, go for it -- let me know what you want to do and throw the dice. Can't promise you it'll get you anywhere, but don't let that stop you trying.]

Dr Rotwang!

[Sorry, I got distracted.]

"Ratling friend, do you have the sombreroid to sell? And what price is there upon our heads, pray tell?"

Max

"Ah, horrowshow! Govoreet golly, now ve talk business," smiles the ratling, showing two or three gold teeth and a pierced tongue. Eying Quazarn's silken cravvy and fine clothes, she continues, "Traders and lovers both: I like them rich and desperate....

"So. I can get sombreroid. And price on your head is not yet set -- but for you is cheaper to pay not to see Bigby, I think. Da? You pony?"

Dr Rotwang!

Quazarn grins. He reaches into his bag and extracts this magically-shrunken beast of burden.

"It's a burro, actually," he says. "Hardier than a pony for sure."

Rondo

(The mini-burro kicks ass! pardon the pun)

Max

[Mule have to excuse me for not braying with laughter.]

Her nose twitching, the ratling squeals with unabashed delight. "It's a real live little ossyel!"

Checking her glee she says more sternly, "What else for the hat and your safety?"

After another awkward silence sternness turns to peevish boredom. The rat girl drums her fingers on the table, nails clicking on the wood. Eventually she stands up.

"If you vecks get tired of sodding around ask for Ika Norvegova. Maybe we still do business," she sneers, "Maybe you gloops snuff it first."

Age of Fable

"Maybe we should, as I believe the young people say, split the scene?" I ask Quazarn.

Dr Rotwang!

"Totally."

Max

The Remulaki grunts through a morbid psychometric fog, "Where oh where will my little donkey go?" With a shudder he carefully stows the mini-mule and stands, ready to follow Hobson.

The Brawl: Wombie Zombie

Two wookies down, zombie to go...

wulfgar

Not really sure what's going on (sorry guys, work has picked up quite a bit, and I've foolishly been spending my time on the site arguing over in the off topic forum)

Initiative: 2
Attack: 59% hit
Damage: 10

Max

[Politics is the last thing I want to talk about with my fellow gamers, man ]

[Just need a saving throw roll for Creature. I'll be back in 20-30 minutes to update.]

wulfgar

Saving throw 55% fail

Max

Not one to be shown up by his mates, Creature finally snaps out of his reverie and charges the wook-zombie! The half-dead thing is ready, and smacks him upside the head with a flailing claw. The furious frankenstein keeps charging though, battering through the wombie's guard and smashing his nose with a vicious head butt. Grave dirt and black blood smear Creature's forehead...

...but the wombie is still fighting. He grabs at Creature's neck, trying to drag him into a clinch, but a spark of necrolectricity from the frankenstein's neck bolts zaps him and he backs away.

[Take 5 HP damage, Creech. Lucky you though: the wombie tried to catch you in a grapple and Fumbled his feat roll. Free attack for you!

[The sparking neck bolt is just color commentary. Don't get any fresh ideas ]

Max

Buck and Zarko watch Creature struggle with the wombie (whose name, Frochanbo, is spelled out in beads on his bandolier). The rest of your crew, and a few spectators, crowd around to watch. Goblin medics shove through with stretchers to cart away the two cold-cocked wookies. The third wooky shrugs off a medic trying to coax him into a wheelchair, waiting to see how Fro' fairs against the Creech.

Coffee

Is anybody else looking on, say from other mobs? Zarko keeps an eye out for looky-lous from other gangs. In particular, I want to know if they're impressed we took out the wooks, or how scared they might seem of us. That sort of thing.

Rondo

Buck stands with Zarko, arms crossed checking out the Creature. Same protocol: Should Creech get in trouble, Zarko and I are gonna jump in there and stomp the wooky's ass in the dirt if we can, otherwise we're just checking it out.

Rondo

(This is like a Texas Saturday night 'front yard' fight! Stinky, growling wookies and all!)

Max

From a distance, in the poorly lit arena, it's hard too tell. The clumps of people gathered seem to cheer for Creature and Fronchanbo alike, though Creature's headbutt was definitely a crowd pleaser.

[Wulf, here's the situation: you're still fighting that wook-zombie, and it's your move. Need your hit and damage roll if you want to take a shot.

[If Wulfgar can't chime in before, say, 5 PM EST could Coffee or Rondo roll for Creech? Only home for an hour or so after work and I'd like to update then.]

Rondo

I'm here, and can fill in if everyone wants me to.

Coffee

Go ahead, if Wulf can't make it. I know I'd trust my character with your rolls.

Rondo

Cool.

Initiative: 5 (not sure if he has some bonuses)
Attack: 65 (ditto as above)
Damage: ? Let me know what you need me to roll for our Frankenstein

Max

[Just roll d6, I'll add the STR bonus.]

Rondo

(btw: not sure if you can check the dice record on the roller I'm using, but be sure and let me know if you want me to try to link you to that...I HAVE been rolling lucky, but honest, I swear! ha)

Max

[Seeing as I don't post my rolls for NPCs at all, I'm not too worried about it. I am satisfied with the honor system. If anybody ever wants to make things more 'official,' let me know. ]

Rondo

"1"....what was the braggin I was doing about rolling earlier...groan...

Coffee

It was tempting fate, that's what it was! A gamer of your experience should really know better...

Rondo

(yea, ha...no kiddin', rookie mistake! Dice always getcha in the end...)....

Max

[Ahh, gamers, and their strange ideas about probability ;) ]

Max

Sparks still arcing from his neck bolts Creature backhands the wombie. With a groan Frochanbo sinks to his knees and slumps to the ground.

The last of the wookies growls angrily and climbs into the waiting wheelchair. Your crew and the other fighters crowd in, cheering and yelling. Someone rolls a keg into the middle of one of the dirt circles.

Rondo

Buck wonders to himself, amongst the revelry, "Is this thing over with, finally?" and he starts to grin at Zarko, wiping some dried blood off his nose and lip.

Max

[If Buck thinks about for a minute he'll realize there's a whole day left -- you can leave any time you like though.]

Coffee

"For today, maybe," Zarko says with a smirk. "Meanwhile, do you know any kind of first aid that would help our Fearless Leader over here?" He points a thumb toward Creature, who quite frankly has looked better. I mean like this morning he looked better.

"I'll set up watches for the night."

Rondo

"Hmm...see what I can do..." Buck approaches Creech..."Easy buddy...let me see here" trying to administer what he can with water and cloth.

"I'll get the next watch," he nods to Zarko.

The Brawl: Ape Fu

Rondo

"Whew! What a big galoot...guys, I ain't feelin' so hot..." Buck staggers over to Zarko and goes down on one knee..."Wow, that guy had a southpaw"....he leans next to Creature and sets down gazing around for some water.

wulfgar

(I'm back...sort of...pretty busy..but I'll try catching up and chiming in sometime today)

Max

[Condensed: While Buck and Zarko chatted with the mystic vobling Starshine, some wookies busted into your area and have been taunting your crew. Buck took up a challenge and knocked one out. The half-zombie leader wants to fight Creature.]

Coffee

Yeah, and the other one wants to fight me! I don't want to fight something that big. I'm just a scrawny little guy.

But hey, I will go ahead and taunt him. I'm totally cool with that; it's what us little guys do. (I can run faster scared than he can mad...)

"Oooga Booga!" Zarko bellows at the Wookie. He walks up next to the circle and starts to go around it, but doesn't step inside. All the while, he makes any rude gestures he can think of (flipping him off, etc.), trying to get the wook's goat and make him lose his cool.

What I learned from Starshine is this: There is fighting, and then there is fighting. You have to play to your strengths.

(I was hoping there was some kind of skill or power I could use in this, but don't see anything that seems applicable. Oh, well. If the ref wants me to roll something, he has but to say so.)

Max

[Roleplaying this out is fine. If you're hoping for some mechanical effect (a la kender taunting foes into attacking at a penalty) I'd say you could try rolling Psychic Implant -- but you might want to sling some nastier insults than "Ooga Booga."]

Coffee

Sorry, too subtle? I was implying that he didn't speak, just made noises. I.e., he's not a "real person" and therefore not worth fighting.

Yeah, that probably was too subtle, for a wookie.

Zarko runs his fingers through his lush pompadour. "Get a comb, ya shaggy loser."

"No wonder ya got hairballs."

Max

[Sir, wookies everywhere take grave offense at your assumptions. Why this very wooky is a renowned slam poet, and won an honorable mention from the New Anthology of Kashyyk Poetry for his chapbook RRRRRRRRRrrggghhhrrra'k. ]


wulfgar

Sure- Creature will throw down with the wooky zombie

Max

[Rock on, blood. Roll dem bones, show 'em what you got.]

Max

Coffee
Zarko runs his fingers through his lush pompadour. "Get a comb, ya shaggy loser."

"No wonder ya got hairballs."

Zarko is joined by the young wrestler 'Sugar' Ray Rocketblaster, who has a few choice words of his own for the wooky. "Come on outta ya circle tall dark an' hairy! I'll make a wig outta ya! Ya sideways poodle..."

The wook bares his teeth and growls derisively. He mimics each of your gestures in as mincing a way as is possible for a 6'6" wooky. Suddenly his eyes go blank. As if possessed by a Warlock Mime he silently acts out a breathtakingly filthy scene involving Zarko, Rocketblaster, their parents and a pack of stray dogs. The crowd of fighters watching gasps.

Rocketblaster clenches his fists, his neck muscles, his teeth, heck even his eyes clench. Just barely, he manages to control himself. Zarko feels his hackles rise, and struggles against a rush of pure gorilla rage.

[You got served, dogg. Wooky got reeeal lucky with his Psychic Implant roll.]

[You need to roll Psi-Resist. If you fail you'll take a 10% penalty to *all* percentile rolls for the duration of the Brawl, unless you take a swing at the wooky who just humiliated you in front of your crew.]

Coffee

Okay, that's no problem. My Psi-Resist is a healthy 58 and I rolled...99.

Okay, so I'm on him like -- well, like stink on a wooky.

Initiative: 5
Melee Attack: Need 55, rolled 19 -- hit!
Damage: 1
Saving Throw: Need 37, rolled -- Another bloody 99! My dice hate me today!

But hey, why should today be any different.

Ball's in your court, hairbag.

Rondo

Buck is feeling a little bit better (I only have 4 HPS left, so I'm not how sure how 'in the fight' Buck still is). He motions to the zombie critter, "Take it easy on the poor slob Creech...just tear off ONE of his arms."....Buck is keeping a close eye on Zarko too, in case anyone else tries to jump in there and outnumber him and our NPC. If that happens Buck is in there like lightning. Well, as close to lightning as a beat-up space pilot can muster!

Max

[I may not have time to post any full updates till this evening -- it's likely to be a busy day for this particular widget salesman. Few things:

* Wulf: need Creature's initiative, melee & save when possible.
* Coffee: in the cold light of morning I feel the choice I gave you last night was too harsh -- if you want to forgo clobbering the wooky your skill penalty will only be 5%. Feel free to edit your post above if you wish.
* Rondo: carry on.]

Coffee

Nah, my post stands. I needed motivation, and pride is always a big motivator.

My post stands, although I'm hoping I can get some help going on, because I'm better at sneak attack then I am at melee attack. If someone could distract the oversized drain-clog, I'd be happier.

Assuming, that is, that I survive what's about to happen!

I ain't taking no penalty, because I AM clobbering the mook! (well, as best I can...)

Rondo

(Buck can do some distractin'!....give me a wink, goriller-man when your ready, and I'll do some serious distracting!)

Max

[Buck is well enough to act -- and a distraction is a possibility. Just roll initiative per normal and tell me what you're planning.]

Rondo

Rolled: 5 +2=7 total

"Hey! You!!" Buck yells towards the opposing Wook, "Could you do us a favor?" He pinches off his nose and points, "MOVE DOWN WIND! YOU SMELL LIKE A DINO ISLAND PORTA-POTTY!!" With this Buck literally throws his stick towards the Wooky's head as hard as he can chunk it..

Att: 5! (Sweeeet)
Dam: 1 rolled, +2=3
Save: 90% (back to the shitty save rolls! Oh well, maybe I don't need it...I'm just trying to get this chump's attention anyway)

Max

Coffee
My dice hate me today!

[That's ok, mine seem to like you...]

Zarko charges! The arena walls have twisted into a tunnel of rage with Zarko on one end and the wooky crouching at the other in a blood-red spotlight. He hardly hears Buck hollering over the sound of his judding heartbeat.

The wooky is ready for Zarko's charge and leaps high, smashing downward with doubled fists...and misses the ape completely. At that instant Buck hurls his club. His aim is deadly, but luck is with the wooky. The club rockets straight at his temple, but the wooky stumbles when he attack misses Zarko, and the club merely grazes his shaggy dome.

Even in a primal rage, Zarko still has his cunning. In the split second that his foe is distracted the ape jabs a finger in his eye. It doesn't do much damage, but it must hurt like hell, 'cause the wooky yowls and clutches its eye.

[Wacky round! Buck's Critical Hit got canceled by a Critical Save, but then the wooky Fumbled his Save against Zarko's attack.

[Zarko's head is clear again, so he can fight on or not as he sees fit. If you keep fighting don't worry about re-rolling initiative.]

Coffee

Okay, press the attack -- maybe I'm on a roll!

Attack: Need 55, got 60, (so no damage)
Saving Throw: Need 37, got 16, so less than half!

Max

Zarko throws a quick jab but the wooky steps out of reach. Still holding his eye he throws a wild right cross, but Zarko ducks and it whooshes over his head.

[If Wulf doesn't chime in in the morning can someone run Creature tomorrow? He said he wants to tangle with the wook-zombie, but I need melee, damage and save rolls from him.]

Coffee

Zarko still has his rage, but is in the fight now, so he's going to try to maneuver into a better position. (Not easy in a circle, I know...)

Where is the mop handle (or whatever) that Buck threw? It could be around here somewhere. If I can see it, and grab it and use it as a weapon, groovy. If not, fine.

Attack roll (55): 96
Damage (d3+0): --
Saving Throw (37): 10

Max

Zarko keeps moving, jabbing and stepping to the side. He takes a chance with a looping overhand, aiming for the wooky's injured eye, but as he throws the punch he slips on Buck's club. He twists an ankle and stumbles to one knee but is nimble enough to roll out of the way of a head kick from the wooky. The club is almost close enough to grab...

[You can grab the club and either attack or make a saving throw in the next round, but not both. Note that a club does only 1d4 damage.

[The twisted ankle is from the Critical Fumble on your attack roll. Take 1 hp damage, reduce your move by 1]

Rondo

Buck is wide eyed taking in his comrades situation...if Zarko takes a solid punch Buck is ready to go in....(I can run Creature today too, if need be....I'm qualified: I have a Frankenstein image tattooed on my forearm!)

Rondo

Buck makes an attempt to distract the wooky, "Hey you fat sack of crap!"...it dawns on him: "I can't speak wooky!...geeesh," so then he attempts to make the weirdest, loudest, bellowing growl he can, "GRrroooowrreeeeeeeeeee!!!!" just to see if the furball will turn his head and think, "wha!?"

(should I roll to see if by some weird chance maybe Buck uttered some butchered Engrish (Wookrish)? )

Max

[Heh, Wookrish. Let's call that a Happenstance roll.]

Rondo

WEEEEE! (I SWEAR...i can't believe it...I have a lousy "18"...i rolled a "15"!..)

Max

Sure enough, Buck's growl* catches the wooky off Guard. He does a double take, furrowing his brow in confusion, and growls back angrily, "NNNgrrN?!"

*"Sister bubblegum mating dance two-for-one"

[Coffee: 10% bonus to your actions this round. If you choose to grab the club you'll still need to choose between attack and defense (i.e. saving throw)]

Coffee

Sneak attack on him when he's distracted!

Need (62 + 10) = 72, rolled 15!

Damage is 3!

I'm on a roll -- now, my question is this: Since I succeeded on a sneak attack, can I try a Murder roll to kill him? (I know it's not a fight to the death, but c'mon -- I'm a criminal! I'm just over-enthusiastic, that's all!)

If so, I roll my 15% (or would that get the +10% also?) and I get .. 32. Yeah, never mind.

Max

[Sneak Attack & Murder Notes:

[A foe you've already engaged in melee gets to roll Guard vs a Sneak Attack -- in this case Rondo took care of that with his distraction.

[Don't forget about a Criminal's bonus damage for Sneak Attacks (+5 at 1st level). So the total damage for your current attack is 8!

[We'll handle Murder just as you suggest: an optional separate roll any time you succeed at a Sneak Attack. Truly lethal attacks require a weapon, but in the context of the Brawl a Murder success equals a knockout. A moot point, as you'll see...]

Max

When the wooky turns away Zarko judo chops him in the throat. The furball sinks to his knees, gasping, and it's lights out for another wook.

Rondo

How's my hit points, JM? Am I still sitting at 4? I'm assuming so, since Buck's fight went down a mere few minutes ago eh?

Max

[Seconds ago, actually. It's just time dilation makes it seem longer.

[PbP, the natural high. Did you ever look at yr dice man? I mean really looook at them?]

Rondo

Yea, what i figured...I'm pretty sore still...

"Nice job workin' over the offending Wook, there Zarko...!...CHOP TO THE THROAT!

Coffee

"Well, he shouldn't have said that. Gestured that. Oh, you know what I mean!"

Zarko stands up, collecting Buck's club and handing it to him.

"Thanks for the distraction. Here's your stick."

Rondo

"Thanks bud...nice moves!" Buck flips the stick over in his hand. Now how's things looking around us?