Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Brawl: Wooky Trouble

Max

Taking leave of Starshine the vobling, Buck & Zarko can't help but to notice a few sidelong glances and shaking heads among the crew. But there's no time to ponder. Leeplo croaks out an alarm! At the same time there's a cackle from Shifty and a yelp of wookish rage. After a brief scuffle in the dark Shifty's laughter stops.

Four shaggy wookies stride fiercely through your ranks, parting your fighters with a Commanding roar. Sugar Ray blanches and ducks behind Creature, and only Mad Muruzabal and One Eye Malone stand their ground unflinchingly.

One of the wookies drags Shifty's limp body with one hand and clutches a wound in his belly with the other. The wooky's fur is dark with blood. He drops the elf roughly to the ground and tosses a bloody shiv onto his body, growling with rage.

Another of the wookies steps forward. His hair is dull grey, patchy save for a wild and tangled mane atop his head, and his flesh is withered. He points a decayed finger at Creature, then at himself, then throws his arms out. Mouth gaping, he rears back and squeaks, "GGGnnnnrrrgaaaagh!"

"GGGnnnnrrrgaaaagh!" one of the other wooks repeats.

[One of you guys got a convincing reason why you understand wooky let me hear it.]

Rondo

"Uh oh..." says Buck in a low disparaging voice. "Trouble, boys...now what...?" Buck turns to Zarko, "Get Creature and let's start moving the hell away from this place!"

Rondo

(Looks like we've hung around too long!)

(Ha, ha! This thing has gotten nuts!! Har!! Fun though...Buck bears the burden of some of the chaos...but it takes all of us to 'tango,' as it were, and besides: gotta see how bad we can jack-up the JM's planning! Isn't that always the classic RPG situation? ha!)

Max

[Keep in mind the party is split up in time as well as space. Hobson & Quaz's antics are happening within minutes of the crane fiasco! The rest of you are hours ahead.

[Much fun as it'd be to fly Fable in from Australia and converge in some central location (or better yet fly ourselves down there!) here's one instance that I'm glad we're playing PbP and not tabletop.]

Rondo

(Ow, wow, i hadn't thought of that, in all this chaos!...yikes...that changes things to some degree)

Max

[You just worry about kicking asses in the Brawl. Or running away from ass-kickers, as the case may be. I'll figure out the rest.]

Coffee

"Well, Creature," Zarko says. "Do you wanna stand and fight, or should we clear out and live to fight later?

"Whichever you decide, we're with you."

Zarko eyes the bloody shiv and remembers that he 'forgot' to leave his pistol in the locker room. But then, guns make noise...

Max

In the manner of their race the wookies are clad only in their own pelts, and unless their weapons are concealed in compromising places they appear unarmed. Glancing at the shiv Zarko notes that it's crafted in the shape of an elfin ear -- in a shade of blue perfectly matching Shifty Mcjumper's blue skin. Glancing between the blade and the indignant and bleeding wooky he realizes just who shanked who.

[WRT your forgotten gun: you also forgot to tell your JM that you forgot to stow your weapon. It might be wise to remember that you left it in your locker after all. Just sayin.']

Coffee

Okay, ya got me.

I thought about it earlier, but didn't say one way or the other. Mostly, I've been assuming that I did leave it behind in the locker. So I'll go with that assumption and not try anything funny.

(And it's not because Zarko's afraid of breaking Bigby Smalls's rules; it's that Zarko is afraid of Darryl's Mom breaking Zarko. You don't cross the boss!)

I'd still like to hear a response from Creature before I decide what to do. Although this puts a decidedly different spin on it.

Max

[Wulfgar mentioned upthread he's mid-move, so how 'bout we give him this evening to respond? If he doesn't get a chance to chime in we'll move things along tomorrow.]

Coffee

Fine by me.

Max

The zombie wookie is lean but hard-muscled despite his withered flesh. He has a wild red mane like the corona of a dying star. His eyes are black marbles, his cheekbones hollow, his nose cracked and dry. He fixes Creature with a wild-eyed stare, then rears back his head and roars threateningly. "RRRrrnnnggrrr!"

Well, his roar would be threatening anyway, if not for the tiny balloon squeak of his voice. His number two wooky steps up and repeats, "RRRrrnnnggrrr!" The half-zombie nods, and begins to walk a wide circle, dragging one foot behind him to mark it off in the dust. He stares at creature the whole time, grinning.

Two other wookies begin making similar circles, snarling and hooting contemptuously at you and your fighters.

Rondo

"You flea bags need to find something else to do...hate to see you buncha walking carpets trying to walk with an arm shoved up your ass..." Buck has had enough. He not so sure how he'll do against these giant bigfoots, but his patience is to the point where he doesn't really care.

Max

"Kashykk?" snorts one of the wookies. He takes a long sneering look at you. Chuffing with mirth, he finishes drawing his circle and steps to the center. He motions you over then, turns away dismissively.

Rondo

"Fine, goddamn it.." Buck grits his teeth and grips the pipe he was carrying from earlier. "I'm gonna go see exactly what the stinking problem is here..." Buck takes off walking towards the motioning Wook.....I'm watching for ANY sign that will indicate I can strike or if he intends to....I can't speak Wookie so how do I know he wants to fight? I'm not taking ANY chances.

Max

Buck wonders briefly if the wookies might be enacting some sort of wookish diplomatic ritual, but their body language says fight, no question about it. They ain't drawin' circles in the dirt for a game of duck duck goose.

The other wooky struts about his circle, arms out and palms up, daring anyone to step in. The half-zombie stares at Creature, still angrily squeaking in wookish. It seems safe to assume Creature's parentage, grooming habits and manhood are called into question.

[Rondo: Pipe? What pipe? Citation?]

Rondo

(Remember? I've been carrying around that piece that I found earlier? I used it in the last fight didn't I? Honestly: I might be imagining it, but I could of swore I had a piece of club or a pipe or somethin!!! Ha)

I'm clubbing the flea bag in the forkin' head right NOW....(and if i don't have that I'm gonna have to just slug him)

Attack: 17 (made it in the clear)
Damage: 6 total (rolled a good ol' four, and +2)
Save: 60 (missed)

Max

[Oh yeaaahh, now I remember. Your mop handle club! Ok-doke.]

[I'll need an initiative roll, too. d10 + your missile damage bonus]

Rondo

With the bonus, I got a 4, and I'm so glad you remembered my mop handle! I'm probably gonna end up wagging that thing like a tail, anyway. :O

Coffee

Zarko watches the wooks carefully. Are there just two of them making their half-assed crop circles?

He's also gonna keep an eye on our guys. If the shiv-meister looks like he's gonna get us all in trouble, then he's somebody who needs to be ended right quick. (Or if I missed it and the wooks already ended him then that's fine by me.)

Max

The lowdown as Zarko sees it: Two wookies and a wook-zombie stand in their circles, taunting your crew. Three at full fighting strength, check. The fourth wookie squats besides Shifty and begins tearing the elf's jerkin, making rags to staunch his stab wound. Done for? Not sure. Shifty is smurfed though: out like a little blue lightbulb.

All of your fighters have crowded round to watch, including your sentries. Malone, Bob and Philimon watch the wookies impassively but the rest of your fighters seem a little spooked. Even the boastful Rocketblaster is silent, watching Creature expectantly.

Cursing under his breath, Buck squares his shoulders and steps into the circle with one of the wookies...

Coffee

"Hey, youse guys!" Zarko barks at the wayward sentries. "Back on watch! And thanks for letting us know a bunch of wookies were sneaking up on us!"

He stalks off, fuming, to see what happens to Buck.

Max

[In defense of your sentries, one of them did his best. The other decided to get all stabby:]

Max
Leeplo croaks out an alarm! At the same time there's a cackle from Shifty and a yelp of wookish rage. After a brief scuffle in the dark Shifty's laughter stops.

[When you have an evil magical birthmark stuff like that happens.]

Leeplo and one of the klengons trot off to guard your flanks.

Zarko watches Buck and the wooky circle each other, taking each others measure in the ring. He's so focused he doesn't have a chance to duck when something dark and squishy bounces off his cheek. Zarko looks down to find a large hairball at his feet, fresh and spitty. The wooky two rings over slaps his knee and wheezes. If wookies had eyebrows, his'd be raised as if to say, "Gonna do something about it?"

[Arrangement of fighting rings: L: hairball tosser, C: zombie-wook, R: Buck & wooky toe-to-toe]

Max
After a moment of pacing around the ring warily, Buck and his foe lunge at each other! The spaceman swings high with his club but the wook is faster, catching him with a sharp jab. Buck rolls with the punch and swings again, cracking the wooky across the cheek. The two reel back from each other, both rocked.

[Buck takes 8 HP damage. If you're going to keep fighting re-roll initiative along with ATT, DAM and save]

Rondo

Buck shakes his head and spits out some blood. "Wow..ugh..." His vision is a bit blurred and his breathing is bugging him. "Damn...what was the number of that truck?!" he shouts to his comrades. He takes off charging forward attempting to butt his head as solid into the wookie's gut as is possible to wind him.

Initiative: 10 (that's with bonus...d10 right?)
Attack: 62% (made it)
Damage: 6 total
Save: 11% (FINALLY SCORED ONE! ha)

Max

Buck is first to clear his head, and he lunges at the wooky like a blitzing linebacker. The wook takes a wild swing but it passes over Buck's head. The spaceman's helmet and shoulder plow into his opponent's shaggy belly and the speared wooky goes down gasping.

[Feel free to elaborate on your knock out if you want, Rondo! The wooky's not dead or anything, but he's out of the Brawl for sure]

[Hopefully Wulfgar's about done with his move. I'll probably post again tomorrow noonish. Want to give Coffee a chance to respond to the wet hairball barrage.]

Monday, October 27, 2008

Hobson & Quazarn: Exit, Pursued by a Bard

Max
[Which way now? To your right are the turnstiles and the tunnel leading to the front, to your left is the gate and ramp to the arena, with lounges branching off to either side before the ramp]

Having hobbled Chief Tallbard, Quazarn and Hobson are ready to get...

Dr Rotwang!

[OUT. Right. Tunnel. Out. Away. Gone. Tunnel. OUT.]

Age of Fable

Me too.

Max

[JM cues Benny Hill theme, plans for chase scene involving bikini-clad doxies and orcs in bobbies' helmets...]

Age of Fable

"Gosh", thinks Hobson,"As per the movement rules on p22, no one can catch me."

Max

Like a bowling ball chasing a runaway pin hobling scampers after conehead down the tunnel. The Chief calls after for a moment then retreats into the locker room.

At the end of the tunnel you find yourselves back on the front lawn. Food and drink stalls and gambling counters crowd right up against the walls of the Vulkin manse, and tents crowded with spectators overrun the front gardens. Beyond the tents the lawn is a parking lot.

Pausing near the tunnel you both feel a bit conspicuous -- you are, after all, a crossbow-wielding hobling in a police uniform and The Warlock Who Almost Tore Bigby's Playhouse Down.

Age of Fable
"Gosh", thinks Hobson, "As per the movement rules on p22, no one can catch me."

Even as he smiles at this thought Hobson hears a voice in his head reply, "Ah, but life is not merely something you read in a book, little hobling. The stronger a fellow is the longer he can run...and on a scale of one to twenty you rate only about a six."

Age of Fable

"And yet, fie on this pessimism" I think.

"With a nature as robotic as mine (and corresponding ability to give myself unpleasant orders) surely I can keep going through the pain like it ain't no thang."

Max

"Hrmmph," grumbles the voice in Hobson's head, "I suppose there's no arguing with that, if you want to run yourself to exhaustion."

[That's good thinking, Fable! If it's necessary to figure out a house rule for forced marches/extended running I'll definitely work that in!]

Age of Fable

[Thanks...I'd treat Robot Nature as including willpower/self-discipline.]

Max

As you linger near the tunnel there's no doubt you're beginning to draw a few stares from the crowd. No sign of any Brawl security. At the moment, anyway.

Age of Fable

Who's lingering? I'm heading away from all this, and encouraging Quazarn to do likewise.

Max

Just a pause to await your choices.

So, away away? As in hoofing it through the parking lot and trucking on down the road?

Dr Rotwang!

Max
[Y]ou are, after all, a crossbow-wielding hobling in a police uniform and The Warlock Who Almost Tore Bigby's Playhouse Down.

[Dude, we're gettin' a rep!]

"Well, my hobling cohort," says Quazarn to Hobson, "we'd best make ourselves hard-to-find -- say, get lost among the crowd? And what of the others? How will we find them?" He twists his lips in searing, incandescent thought. "Splitting up," he reflects, "may well have been a bad idea." Then, "To the stalls! Let us lose ourselves among the throng, visually if not in terms of merit."

Age of Fable

I change my clothes to something which will fit in with the crowd.

"An excellent plan. And yet, it's possible that they may search the crowd - believing as they do that you're a major criminal, and responsible for the head of security (and former senior police officer) getting a crossbow bolt in the leg."

"Also, you have a great big pointy head, presenting some difficulties vis a vis passing unnoticed."

Max

Quazarn is momentarily confused when he notices the hobling in a Hawaiian shirt and deck shoes talking to him, but his keen intellect swiftly pierces Hobson's disguise. The pair do their best to disappear into the crowd.

The food stalls are the usual mix of fast cheap and out of control: rat-on-a-stick, roof lizard eggs fried in savory dough, burgers and brats, toasted chickenoid blood (a favorite despite the raging ontological debate over the question of the chickenoids' sentience). There are also souvenir vendors, betting counters, and tents set up for spectators to watch the fight via holoscreen, scrying pool and quadrophenic sens-surround. Touts race back and forth between the viewing parlors and a beer garden in the shade of a huge baobabbler tree.

Hobson seems to pass unnoticed as long as he keeps out from underfoot, but Quazarn's still drawing a few sidelong looks.

Rondo

(major points for the JG "Rat-On-A-Stick" reference!)

Dr Rotwang!

Quazarn looks around the stalls. "Surely," he mutters, "a crowd such as this is a good market for Ontobian sombreroids. Surely..."

Max

A sharp-eared ratling twitches her head in your direction. She is clean for her species, though her pelt is shaved in strange teknomagical patterns. She points a clawed finger at the beer garden and ducks out of view.

Age of Fable

"Well, she was clean for her species. That...that wasn't true of my last girlfriend."

Age of Fable

Noticing that Quazarn seems to have had another attack of Psychometric Morbidity, Hobson will try to follow the ratling, observing her while being unobserved if possible.

[rolled a 55]

Dr Rotwang!

Surreptitiously, Quazarn follows the ratling.

Monday, October 20, 2008

The Brawl: Guru, U Rug?

Max

"The Tenmen are Go!" shouts Wiggy, slapping Leeplo on the back. "Rock ab Rooglgll!" croaks the man-frog. They start jogging toward the stage, but Wiggy stops abruptly and does an exaggerated about face. "Whaddya say, bosses three?"

"Bessh. Sheeet mezzic. Let's go mek some mether-fekkers bleed," wheedles Shifty, tugging at his collar and scratching his neck irritably.

wulfgar

Max
A psi-witch known as Starshine Moonchilde, practitioner of something called Recumbent Kung Fu, has so far defeated all challengers and refused all alliances; many suspect him of secretly using his psychic powers.

Let's go find this psychic wizard dude who is a loner and possibly cheating and see what his deal is. If we can get him to join up it's a bonus for us. If we beat him down, lots of other people will join up (or quit in the face of our awesomeness).

Rondo

I have no ideas of my own as to what our next move shall be, Wulfgar....I'm up for that. Count Buck in.

wulfgar

With our army in tow, (a few scouts out a little bit along the perimeter) we go looking for Starshine Moodchilde.

Rondo

I second that.

Coffee

I'll go with the rest.

Max

[Go ahead and assign NPCs as your scouts as you like. Here's the roster.]

wulfgar

on point- Shifty McJumper
starboard flank- Mad Maruzabal
port flank- 'Leeplo
In the rear with the gear (well in the rear, without the gear I guess)- Abdul Nomascus.

Rest of us in the middle, scouts let us know if trouble is coming and pull back to the rest of the group.

Max

Your posse draws raised eyebrows and nods as you cross the arena. The Tenmen kick into a blistering raver, loud enough to stir up dust devils in front of their Marshall stack. No one hassles you.

Off in a far corner of the arena you find Starshine Moonchilde, an emaciated hobling-vulkin with bulging temples and faintly luminescent skin. His head is shaved save for a long braid knotted with loops of yarn, and he wears tie-dyed sackcloth and ashes. His eyes are covered with gargoyle sunglasses, dead black.

The vobling chants quietly as you approach, "...shamma lamma ding dong tingsha na nama shiva om golly padme humdinger kip winger banana fana fo finger chocko chakra sunsinger..."

wulfgar

Creature nudges Buck and Zarko forward to do the talking, aware of limits of his own articulateness...or lack there of. He's half a step right behind them though.

Coffee

Zarko bows respectfully (another boss, doncha know...) and waits for the vobling to notice him and come out of his chant.

(If he doesn't do so soon, Zarko will look questioningly at Buck and leave the matter up to him.)

Max

"...voulez-vous coucher avec mwa ha ha hamdullilah cucaracha cha cha ch-changes..." The vobling continues in this manner for a solid minute, ignoring all of you. It's sort of embarrassing.

Zarko shifts from foot to foot, glancing at the uncharacteristically silent Buck. The chanting rises in volume and pitch.

"Merry Christmas Merry Christmas Christmas Christmas Merry Merry Dies Irae Cooking Sherry Tom And Jerry Harum Scarum Hotsy Totsy Koyanisquaatsi Jaya Lakshmi Shave And A Haircut YAHTZEE"

The vobling springs straight up in the air, does three jumping jacks, tumbles face first to the ground, and ends up lying on his side with one knee up and his head cradled in one hand. "Shalom, Brother Zarko. What's the haps?"

Coffee

"Well, y'see, it's like this. We have a real contender here," Zarko says, pointing at Creature.

"And the word we get is that you're a contender, too."

Any reaction to this, so far? If not, I'll plunge right on...

Max

"I am the stars shining and the child of the moon. I contend chiefly for a cosmic prize, Ape-evolved-from-man. I seek contentment amidst this brutal contest of flesh and blood. What is it you seek?"

[Wish Blogger had 'rainbow' as a text color option. I'm not going to individually format each letter so you'll just have to picture his speaking voice in a froot loopy array of colors.

[By all means run with it, Coffee. Rondo's been incommunicado since Tuesday.]

Coffee

"Plain and simple?" Zarko says, staring right into the vobling's disturbing, half-engaged eyes. "We seek to survive. That's really the deal. We survive, we win our bets, everybody's happy."

He pauses, as if debating with himself.

"We had another goal, coming in here, but things have...changed."

Max

"Mere survival, Zarko? Keep your feet on the ground...and keep them there?" The vobling pushes his sunglases back up on his nose, the enormous lenses covering half his face. Zarko can't even make out his reflection. "It has been said that if we are to survive we must become a little....crazy. But who is crazy enough to thrive?"

Starshine lets out a low whistle. "But I think you have not come here to ponder the sages?"

Coffee

"Sages can do their thing," Zarko says with a snort. "I'll do mine.

"But the bottom line is this: Are you gonna be a threat to our survival? 'Cause if you are, we're gonna have to do something about it."

Max

"Who can say? I get low, I get high, there is no try, only do. I have the wings of heaven on my shoes -- I am a mystic man, I cannot lose.*"

[*Gibb, Gibb, & Gibb, freely adapted]

Age of Fable

[The way he uses his walk appears to be misleading, in that he clearly has a great deal of time to talk.]

Coffee

"Sure, right," Zarko says. He holds up a finger, then pulls Buck back for a whispered conference with Creature.

"Izzat all this skeezik does? Confuse people? Izzat how he wins?" Zarko shakes his head. "I don't think he's a real threat. But I sure wish we had some other dudes to send his way -- I'd like to see how he fights for real."

Max

[Since Rondo hasn't posted since Tuesday or contacted me otherwise I'm bumping him to NPC status for the moment. Rondo is free to chime in at any time, of course, but otherwise Buck will go along with your decision. So take it away, Zarko & Creech...]

wulfgar

Creature is torn between two ideas that have crept into his mind:

A. Sit down Indian style and listen to the melodious musings of recumbant kung-fu master like a child at storytime.

B. Bash him over the head while he's talking to Zarko.

As of right now he's conflicted and so stands there like a dummy.

Coffee

Either one of those sounds good to me.

I was hoping Buck would pipe up. I could really use his advice right about now. (It's Friday and my brain has already checked out for the day...)

Rondo

(HEy! Sorry guys....I'm back...I'm trying to get caught up here....major idjitnet disaster where I work AND at home, I swear...two different servers, two diff. problems. I can only post from the house, which means checking in on things after 5 until they get this computer thing worked out in my shop at work)

Buck eyes this show-off and raises an eyebrow..."I think we better consult, guys whaddya think?"

"I'm all for Creech bashing this chucklehead on the beezer, frankly, but....what do we have in mind to do with this joker?" Buck is leaning over to Zarko whispering with his hand on the side of his mouth.

Coffee

"What I'd really like," Zarko whispers back behind his own hand, "is to find some other guys to throw at this one. Then we'd see what he's made of. Either they'd take him out, problem solved, or he'd take them out and reduce the competition.

"Plus we'd get to see what we're up against."

Rondo

"Hmm...not a bad idea there, Zarko," says Buck as he glances back to the Creature to see how he's handling all this. "HEY!" Buck raises his voice to the king of the flashdance... "We were wondering..." he gestures over to some of the remaining rabble that still look like they'd kick up some dust, "how 'bout a little wager....think you could knock the socks off those idiots over there?" he's rubbing his fingers together in a gesture of money. "Not sure what I can pay you with, but we'd sure like to see you in action....what you've shown us so far has been pretty darned impressive! Why dont'cha go over there and finish some of these losers off?" Buck is grinning from ear to ear.

Command Roll:
Argue: 31% (made it)
Crowd Manipulate: 20% (made it)
Lesser Feat: 27% (made it)
Restore Courage: 82% (failed...jeez, I was on a roll!)
(hell, I'm trying 'em all...don't know what you want me to roll, and this EC stuff is a open-ended pain in the ass sometimes)

Max

"I did not catch your name, oh pilot without a ship?" smiles Starshine, turning to regard Buck through his black sunglasses. "It doesn't matter. It's a foolish gambler who bets money he does not have on a horse with no name. Why would I wish to ramble when it is you who wants to see me rumble?"

Max

[WRT the skills you rolled above, my thoughts: I'd say Argue is for logical, reason-based persuasion, as opposed to Command or Seduce for more emotional appeals. Crowd Manipulate is to influence a group or perform for an audience. Restore Courage could be used to rally henchmen with broken morale or save vs a fear spell. The Feats are generally for tests of physical strength only -- but if you wanted to intimidate someone you could try using Lesser Feat to do a Hulkamania type pose down.]

Rondo

"Ha! Fair enough....good call....truly I am a horseless rider" Buck misconstrues what Mr. Flippant throws at him... "I do have a buddy here though, that can tear the arms off of a goon and beat him with it!" he pats Creech on his box-like frame. "How'd you come to get mixed up in this whole rinky-dink fight? You seem like you can do greater things than scrap with a buncha goofs for prize dough."

Max

Starshine's mouth twists into a faraway smile, "On the first part of my journey I beheld life all around me: plants and birds and rocks, sand and hills and rings. I met a buzzing fly under a cloudless sky. The heat was hot and the ground was dry. But the air was full of sound. I meditated for--" he counts on his fingers, "nine days, and woke up here. It felt good to get out of the rain."

The vobling tilts his sunglasses up on his head but his eyes remain closed. He rolls onto his back, arms behind his head.

"I'm just a tiger's eye rocking in a hurricane, Buck Pulsar. Flippant is as flippant does. Do you wish to talk, or fight, or stare at the stars?"

Coffee

"I, personally," Zarko says, raising his hand "would lean toward the whole staring at the stars kinda thing.

"But we've got this whole brawl thing to get through, first."

Rondo

"Yea, same here....about this Brawl....you wanna help us out here? How 'bout teaming up with us or somethin'....we could sure use a fella like you." Buck extends a salute.

Max

"The stars will wait, Zarko," chuckles the vobling.

Returning Buck's salute with a hang ten gesture, Starshine continues, "There are many things about me you do not know anything about. Things you would not understand. Things you could not understand. Things you should not understand. I am a man who refuses to take things standing up."

Starshine rolls gracefully up into a mystical posture known as the Drooping Lotus, dropping his sunglasses down over his eyes. "This is this end, my friends, of our talk. I cannot ride your bus; you must either challenge me or leave. Ride the storm or walk on by?"

Rondo

"Hmm...I dunno 'bout this 'challenging you' affair," Buck looks over to Zarko and his eyebrows go up in confusion as he shrugs his shoulders with a 'now what?' expression.

He leans over and whispers to Zarko, "I say we hoof it...I don't see any point in messing with this guy..."

Coffee

"Yeah," Zarko replies. "I'm with you."

He straightens out and bows with respect toward Starshine.

"It was a pleasure to have met you, and I wish you well in the Brawl."

Rondo

(Good call, Zarko...well played)

Coffee

[Thank you!]

Max

"Take it easy, brothers," nods Starshine, "and remember: When in doubt, get horizontal."

Sunday, October 19, 2008

The Brawl: A Brief Respite, and Much Handwringing

Max

The afternoon is quiet. Despite the violence of the morning there's an oddly collegial mood, with fighters strolling the arena in small groups, and gathering around the drinking trough to compare scar tissue and fighting techniques and trade tall tales, shaggy dog stories and outright lies.

Zarko sees to the watches, which turn out to be fairly informal since the recruits are just hanging out anyway. The silent amazon Muruzabal tinkers with her spinning body cage. One Eye Malone smokes cigars pensively and swears like a dockworker -- which is, after all, his trade. The klengons glower and grumble at Wiggy Plop's clowning. Schleppy the Tote-Golem organizes a few of his numberless pockets, withdrawing objects a few at a time -- a plaster model of the Dog Moon; a ten gallon hat; a pink t-shirt; a checkered flag; a packet of Instant Sea Monster mix ("Turns out they're just brine shrimp," he shrugs.)1 -- and then stowing them again according to some private system.

As they come back from trips to the water trough the recruits pass along the fight news. The largest camps seem to be those of the mutant Pegasus Lad and Richard the Bold, both well-known heels on the Vanthian wrestling circuit. A psi-witch known as Starshine Moonchilde, practitioner of something called Recumbent Kung Fu, has so far defeated all challengers and refused all alliances; many suspect him of secretly using his psychic powers. And Creature too has earned a bit of a reputation -- his brutal beatdown of the goons has not gone unnoticed in the arena.

There are also a lot of rumors about the crane incident. It's speculated that the warlock responsible was either a cannibal sorcerer from Citadel Carcosa or a saboteur bankrolled by one of God City's crime families. The biggest buzz, however, is that Bigby himself is fighting in the brawl incognito, in hopes of finding a successor to run his company. Most greet this notion with derision but it's nonetheless the talk of the day.

wulfgar

Just curious, how big is this arena? I've been picturing something the size of a basketball court in my head, or are we talking football field or larger?

Max

[The latter is, uh, in the ballpark . It's very big: roughly 360x360 (about 3 acres) surrounded by a wooden palisade 3-4 stories high. No bleachers; any on-site spectators watch camera/scrying feed in tents out front. There were hundreds of fighters at the start of the Brawl.]

wulfgar

Yeah, I know. Things were very crowded in my basketball sized imagination :)

Max

[Heh. Bigby Small's Drivetime Brawl: Watch as hundreds of commuters crammed into tiny subway cars erupt in brutal mayhem! See the Green Line Gouger in action! Hear the wails of those left at the station!]

wulfgar

Any new guys join up with our posse?

Max

Not so far.

Rondo

Buck's thoughts turn to Darryl's condition...."Well, gentlemen....We need to find out about Darryl...." Buck starts looking around the arena for a paramedic in order to ask some questions.

Max

During the afternoon Buck flags down one of the goblin apothecaries.

"Darryl who now? Lizard, hunh?" the goblin shrugs. "Look, there's more'n a hunnert fighters down below, in ever' state of re-pair. You wanna send'm flowers an' a bou-quet you gonna have to do it your own self, chum. Retreat chutes there, there, an' there," he points.

Rondo

Buck returns to the party, "Guys, I'm heading to the 'retreat chutes' to check on Daryl...Zarko, Creature...one of you wanna go with me?"

Coffee

"Will we be able to get back in?" Zarko asks. "'Cause I don't wanna leave our boy here if it means we can't come back."

wulfgar

Does Buck have a phone or communicator or some such device? If he does, can't he just call Darryl's mom? Or if he doesn't maybe one of our guys 'on the outside' (the hobling pimp or Quarzan) could get to a phone.

Rondo

"Hmm...good point, Zarko" (problem with the phone thing: what are we gonna tell her? I want to go physically talk to the kid)...."I'll go alone and risk not getting back in....ain't much left to do here anyhow...." He waits to see Zarko's and Creature's response...

Max

[Zarko is right, Buck, if you leave the arena there's no getting back in. And sadly I don't think you have a phone on your equipment list.]

Rondo

(Alright....screw it....enough about Darryl...it's obvious there's a separatin' technique at work here ;) ...I won't push it any farther)

"Well, okeedokee...I give up...you guys are right I suppose, we'll have to take our chances that Darryl ends up on the okay side of things."

wulfgar

[Hmmm, well if we win the brawl and Darryl ends up dead, I don't think we'll be able to enjoy our winnings much. So perhaps bailing out and tracking down Darryl does make the most sense. Creature is willing to follow Buck's lead.]

Rondo

(Well, you guys might be right too...I mean, it depends on if you trust what's going on with the scene behind the scene. I tend to err on the side of distrust and caution, but you guys are probably right...he's probably being taken care of...the problem as I see it is what happens if mom finds out we let him die or any other fill in the blank situation....is the idea here to be the last fighter standing? If so, let's get it on, and then get out of here...that's my vote anyhow)

Max

[Truly your mewlings are piteous ;). Here's a pair of flashbacks to make of what you will:]

Max
The [chief apothecary] goblin stares at Buck like he was looking at puppy that just peed on the rug. "Maglubiyet!...We ain't runnin' a research hospital here, pal. But we know a thing or two about patching up fighters...."

A commotion from the center of the arena interrupts the apothecary. "Of all the...this is fan-yarking-tastic....If you want to help your friend, help me guard the rest. Chief Ball-tard sent in the Goon Squad."

Max
The apothecary squad sets about their business, spraying groggy fighters with smelling salts and scooting them toward the ramp. The unconscious and lame are rolled onto stretchers.

Annoyed at the stink eye from Buck and Creature the chief apothecary....glares a moment, daring a cross word from anyone. After a moment he sighs, "Look, fellas, your lizard buddy will be fine in a day or two. We're carting him off now. Nothin' fancy, but three hots and a cot'll do him wonders. Now get your heads back in the Brawl and let us do our job. You're trouble, all of ya. Bad luck. Run off, before you bring the damn sky crashing in. Eh?"

Rondo

:) (smart ass medic types don't impress me)

My 'mewlings' are based on the fact that it was rather evident that lizard mom can pretty much wax our entire party in a single breath....call me paranoid, but if we screw things up in any way with this kid, then we can all kiss our butts goodbye!..

Max

copyright Chris OnstadCreature's feeling quite a bit better when the sun sinks below the western wall. A crowd begins to gather at the far end of the arena, where a trapdoor opens and a stage ringed with barbed wire rises from the floor. A trio of pantheroids tune up their instruments, and the Tenmen begin to play.

As the Tenmen fire up a snarling surf-raga medley several of your crew ask to check it out. The afternoon's informal truce seems to hold among the crowd watching the band. As if in response, a pair of harnessed goons rolls out a half-dozen barrels of dwarven grog and cheap wine.

[Creature heals 9 hp, back up to 10 overall.]
-------------------------------
1 Random Item Generator made for Schleppy, sourced by Googling random object list.

Hobson & Quazarn: I Shot the Sheriff

There's a time for talk, and a time for assaulting a former police officer...

Dr Rotwang!
Quazarn, The Warlock Who Sucked At being A Warlock, grits his teeth and kicks Tallbard in the groin.

Age of Fable
"Oh no! He has magically escaped his bonds, which I definitely had him in!"

Max
Chief Tallbard is surprised by the conehead's sudden attack, but evades the kick with a the hip swivel of a champion hula-hooper. He raises his hands, palms out.

"Easy tiger. No need to make things any harder for yourself, son. Just take a deep breath and relax. We just need to ask you a few questions."

Age of Fable

"Oh no! He's taken control of my arms!" I say, and shoot the Chief in the leg.

To Hit: 11!

Max

[That's probably going to hurt. Roll your damage.]

Age of Fable

7

"Damn you, Bazorm the Enchanter!" I cry.

"I shall remember your name! Which is Bazorm the Enchanter!"

Max

"Get a hold of yourself, officer. Fight it!" cries out the Chief as Hobson raises his weapon. His golden voice would rally a company of fleeing soldiers. Unfortunately for the Chief, Hobson's fighting for the other side, and his aim is good. The crossbow bolt thunks into the meat of Tallbard's thigh.

"Sluts of the Netherworld!" gasps the Chief, backing toward the door. "Radio for help, Chester! Chester?" But the orcish orderly is splitsville. Tallbard begins fumbling with his own radio, still backing away.

[Reloading a crossbow takes a round.]

Dr Rotwang!

[Is Quazarn jacked up for reals? And is it mere coincidence that you noticed my Psi Resist wasn't correctly totalled up?]

Max

[Quazarn is free to act; Hobson's attack interrupted the Chief. One man's coincidence is another man's foreshadowing. 'Stance Happens, dude.]

Dr Rotwang!

Max
Tallbard begins fumbling with his own radio, still backing away.

Women want him! Men want to be him! Wookies shave and wear hats to honor him! He is QUAZARN!

He nails his penetrating gaze to Tallbard's and builds around him a scaffolding of fear! "Oh, cool," he says icily, "a radio." The Remulaki snatches the device away from Tallbard, and puts it to his ear. He pretends to listen, and then throws it over his shoulder. "I hate that station.

"Let's talk a little about your future, Chief..."

Max

[Ahem.]

Building his confidence with an incredibly convincing visualization exercise Quazarn prepares to grab the radio.

[Hey, I'm a rootin'-for-the-PCs kinda JM, but c'mon man. Give me an initiative roll on d10-1 (missile damage determines bonus/penalty to initiative), and a Lesser Feat]

Dr Rotwang!

[Heh! I was just bein' pro-active. My rolls: INIT = 4, LESSER FEAT = 43]

Max

[Hey, Fable, we're into a new round. What's up with Hobson? Reloading his crossbow? Can I get an initiative roll, and other attack or ability based roll you want to take?]

[I'll need an extra percentile roll for Hobson and Quaz both. Just tell me the number.]

Age of Fable

Initiative 7

Percentage 12 here.

Hobson will replace his crossbow, draw his cutlass and, if he has time this round, try and shoulder-barge his way out of the door, shouting "damn you, sorcerer!"

Max

Brandishing his cutlass Hobson boldly charges from the locker room! Hurling his small body into the door with a yell, he nearly falls prone when he meets no resistance whatsoever. The freshly oiled and completely unblocked swinging door bangs against the tunnel wall and flaps noisily shut behind him.

The Chief is distracted by the fleeing hobling, and Quazarn seizes the the day, the moment, the hour and the radio. "Oh, cool," he says icily as he puts it to his ear. He pretends to listen, and then throws it over his shoulder. "I hate that station."

"Let's talk a little about your future, Chief..."

Tallbard's face is pale, but his voice is firm and steady, the rough edge of command polished smooth like a rock in a stream. "Talk? That'd be great, son. Why don't we have a seat and talk things out, chew the fat, settle the hash. Man to man."

His words are forceful, yet calm, and once again Quazarn can't help but to relax. The Chief ain't such a bad guy, is he?

[Need a percentile roll from you, Doc...]

Age of Fable

Hobson notices that Quazarn isn't running behind him.

"Damn you sorcerer!"

Dr Rotwang!

Quazarn isn't interested in having a beer with him. Quazarn wants to be left the hell alone by him.

Max
[Need a percentile roll from you, Doc...]

[51. Bad?]

Max

Quazarn feels all his anger toward the Chief ebb away. He's just a guy just trying to do his job after all. A beer might be a little too friendly, but maybe it would be good to talk things out.

[You are Stunned -- you are still in control of your own actions, but can't act to harm the Chief.

[We're moving into a new round, keeping the same initiative sequence. Hobson & Quazarn have a chance to act before the Chief.]

Age of Fable

I try and sneak back so that I can see what's happening, without myself being seen.

If I need a roll for that: 30

Dr Rotwang!

"Your future, Chief," Quazarn declares, "involves you leaving me the hell alone. If that bulldozer's such a big deal, wait another hour, you'll have it back. I'm stepping away now; I suggest you do same." Quazarn backs away from the chief, at a comfortable clip.

Time to get the hell outta here.

Max

Just as Hobson approaches the door to peer through it bangs open, once again crashing into the tunnel wall. Hobson jumps back out of the way, and Quazarn backs through the door into the hall.

Before the door swings shut Hobson sees the Chief limping toward the door. "C'mon now buddy, don't go off in a rush, it's better for everyone if we just talk this out..."

[You two stooges want a ladder for a prop :D ? I was pretty tempted to make Hobson save vs getting smacked by the door.

[Which way now? To your right are the turnstiles and the tunnel leading to the front, to your left is the gate and ramp to the arena, with lounges branching off to either side before the ramp.]

Thursday, October 16, 2008

The Brawl: Cool, Cool Water / Klengons Battered

Creature guzzles a canteen full of weal or woe or just plain old water, and a ruckus ensues between the klengons and the new recruits...

Max
Rokem zooms past Buck and Creature, bounces over Tumek and crashes into the line of AWOL klengons, furiously spinning his begloved fists....The clown Wiggy Plop blows a warlike blast on a bicycle horn. Sugar Ray Rocketblaster shouts insults and struts for a non-existent crowd. Shifty McJumper and 3M "Triple Muscles" Ragnar charge forward, and the man-frog Leeplo leaps overhead.

Max

Creature grabs the canteen from Buck and guzzles the cool water, stopping only to gargle and spit, rinsing the blood from his mouth. He does not spin like a top and blow smoke from ears like Popeye hopped up on spinach, but neither does he keel over dead with X's over his eyes.

Smiling sweetly despite a split lip, Bob the Fighter trots up. "Sure hate to bother you fellas, but things are just about to go FUBAR. We got a few guys gone buck wild on those klengons, and that Sugar Ray fella puttin' on some kinda wild fandango, and then that Amazon gal is puttin' together some jim-jerry contraption. And well the rest of us ain't any to sure if up is up and down isn't."

He shrugs apologetically, "I guess we could use a little advice before this turns into a situation."

wulfgar

Is the refreshing water helping Creature recover at all?

[OOC: My thought is that we offer leniency to any Klengons who will join up with us, and beat the others mercilessly. Can Buck or Zarko head that up, while Creature gets his wind back?]

Max

[The water has marvelous powers...of thirst quenching!

[Your raggle-taggle band will answer to any of the PCs in the arena, yeah, with varying levels of tractability.

Rondo

(I'm up for that, Wulfgar. We can sure go that way...what do the rest of you think? I doubt if Klengons will 'join up,' it'll probably just end up being a brawl, but I have no problem with staying in the fight. At some point we gotta get to Darryl too.)

Max

Bob the Fighter awaits his orders.

[when y'all figure it out, feel free to direct your forces as you like. Note that four dudes (Rokem Sokem, Leeplo, Shifty & 3M Ragnar) are engaged with the klengons -- I'll catch up with them tonight. The others are more or less at your disposal.

[You haven't really asked about your crew, but I'll fill in a few details: Bob, One-Eye, & Philimon are Warriors. Sugar Ray Rocketblaster is a Wrestler. Muruzabal & Prince Abdul are Pioneers. Shifty is a Criminal. Wiggy is a Doxy (I use the class for bards, rock stars, jesters, clowns, etc. as well as purveyors of "personal services"). The others are unleveled.

[I've not decided how a full on brawl would go. Not real keen on rolling 20 attacks and saves, right? So I'd probably fudge things by assigning random damage to allies and foes not in direct collaboration or confrontation with PCs. Any suggestions?]

wulfgar

That's how I've always done it for any rpg I've run. The PCs and NPCs they are fighting get rolls. The rest of battle royal plays out according to some combination of random rolling (mass battle rules may or may not be useful here) and DM/GM/JM/etc fiat.

Max

As Buck and Creature stumble to the wall, Leeplo launches himself at the klengons, followed by Shifty and Ragnar afoot. The man-frog's hop takes him clean over the klengon line, and he lands hard on his skinny green tailbone.

The dwarf and the elf acquit themselves better. Shifty tumbles toward a startled klengon, grabbing his beard and swinging onto his shoulders. With a wicked smirk the gremlin-sized elf jabs his thumbs into the klengon's eyes. The klengon throws him off but the scrappy elf rebounds like a spring.

The barrel-chested yet bony-kneed dwarf Triple Muscles Ragnar crashes fist first into another klengon, who crumples like a candy wrapper. Unfortunately two others gang up on the dwarf, one landing a solid leg kick and the other slugging him in the gut. Ragnar falls back but he keeps his feet.

Bob, still waiting for his orders, looks worried.

wulfgar

"GET..EM..BOB!" Creature yells at the bewildered Bob.

Rondo

"Well, we in this or not boys? I'm not calling the shots around here anymore...all I do is get us into a jam!"

????????

Max

With a small frown of concern Bob turns smartly and jogs back to the other fighters, shouting for them to charge the klengons.

He and One-Eye Malone lead the way, with Philimon and the Ape Sultan close behind. Mad Muruzabal finishes assembling an odd contraption, a cylindrical cage of bamboo strung with lodestones which attaches to her belt and covers her upper body. Tugging a whipcord she sets the cage to spinning and stalks into battle, shouting Amazon curses as she goes.1

Coffee

If Creature looks like he's going to be okay, Zarko will join the others in their assault on the Klengons. The more the merrier, he guesses. (If Creature needs defending, of course, he'll stay...)

Initiative: 14 (woo-hoo!)
Attack: 90 (whoops...) out of 55 -- miss
Saving Throw: 13 (probably need it...) out of 37 -- made under half!

Rondo

Buck looks at Creature trying to determine his state of health. He's not going to leave his side until he's in condition to defend himself. He looks up to his comrade Zarko heading the direction of the melee. "How you feeling, buddy?" he asks Creech.

(assuming that Zarko has started that direction of course, otherwise Zarko and I are looking Creature over and see how he's doing...see if we can get responses from him, etc.)

Max

The battle with the klengons is brief. Rokem and Shifty each down their foes, and Ragnar punches out his second klengon before being dropped by an uppercut. Rokem has his sensor array twisted off and powers down to indefinite stand-by, but Leeplo knocks the 'droid's opponent over with a high-hopping frog kick.

By the time Zarko and the rest arrive the four remaining klengons have had enough. Showing the same un-klengish lust for compromise that made them go AWOL in the first place, three of them throw up their hands in surrender. The fourth stands his ground for a moment, toe to toe with One-Eye Malone. But he can't out-glare the unblinking cyclopean, and when Malone twitches the klengon kicks up his heels. Malone flicks his cigar butt after the deserter.

The rumble with the klengons appears to have been the main action in the arena. As before, runners still move about the arena offering individual challenges but for the most part things seem to have returned a tense detente.

Goblins arrive shortly to cart off the wounded, and a properly hobbled and harnessed pair of goons trundles out a long trough full of water. Fighters from various camps slowly approach to drink and wash off the dust and blood of the Brawl.

wulfgar

Creature keeps his back against the arena wall and takes a few deep breaths. "Creature...ok..but.friends..no..go..too far." He's hoping to stay out of the way and get some strength back, but here's his rolls in case someone comes looking for trouble, hopefully he doesn't have to use these:

Initiative: -3
Attack: 5% HIT
Damage: 8
Saving Throw: 30% SAVE!

Max

[Creature is coherent but shaken. He can stand, and could fight with his full melee ATT and Damage ratings -- but at 1 hp he won't likely fight for long. Let's say he'll regain 2-8 hp every 4 hours of rest (much faster than the usual rate of 1-4 hp per level/day, but again this is subdual damage).

[We can gloss over resting time as needed. Let me know how you'll generally occupy yourselves and your fighters and I'll narrate away. Watch out for Wandering Brawlers, though. Gotta roll those every so often!]

Rondo

Buck dusts Creature off, "You kiddin' you big lug? We ain't going nowhere..." (here's a throw or two for Buck in case any wandering wise-guys come along):

Attack: 59% (made it)
Damage: 6 (4 rolled +2)
Save: 51% (missed)

Coffee

"That's right!" Zarko says with a grin. "We came in here as a team and we stay a team!"

While Buck stands by and tends to Creature, Zarko moves among the recruits and organizes a watch -- at least two men on at all times, keeping an eye out for trouble. As a leadership exercise, Zarko himself will take the first watch (along with one of the recruits). Everybody else gets to rest.
----------------------------
1 An example of the Pioneering Provide skill, Muruzabal's gyrospoke shield is equivalent to a gravitron shield except that it has a 7% lemon chance of failure every round of use.

Hobson & Quazarn & Tallbard & Chester

Hobson's locker-room larceny is interrupted by the return of Chief Tallbard...

Max
There's a sound of singing from the corridor. "Forsooth," sighs a world-weary Quazarn. "Chief Tallbard!"

Age of Fable


I answer the door, taking the symbiote repellent if that's what he's come for.

Max

"Here now, let's take care of that symbiote problem. We'll have it licked in no time!" chimes the Chief, brandishing what looks like a caulking gun.


He looks askance at Quazarn, sulking near the door. "Haven't you got manacles for the prisoner? Pin his arms, man, before his unleashes his hoodoo!"

Age of Fable

"Oh, he won't be any trouble. He knows I'm the fastest crossbow in Hoblingdom."

Max

"Hrmm. It's a little out of tune," mulls the Chief, "Not the way I'd handle him. But he doesn't look very dangerous." Tallbard waves a hand in front of Quazarn's glazed over eyes, and snaps his fingers near the warlock's ear. "He's gone flat as a bent sackbutt. You won't fool us, cheater! Now, officer...what was your name again? Let's get to it, see what he knows."

The Chief undoes the top two buttons of his uniform and begins rolling up his sleeves.

Age of Fable

[wait - I thought this guy was an EX policeman?]

Max

[That's right. And?

[You're on his turf. And he's Chief pain in the neck around here.]

Age of Fable

"Uh...no can do Chief. He got off on a technicality last time, can't let that happen again."

Max

"Well, fol-dee-rol, officer," hums Tallbard innocently. "I'll just stay on as an observer then. Representing Mr. Smalls' interests. This spell-flinger here caused a whole heap of damage to Mr. Smalls' property today. And Mr. Smalls is a Big Man in God City. Primo Uomo, understand?"

Age of Fable

"You of all people should know that you can't be an observer."

Max

"You're not from around here, are you, Officer?" smiles Tallbard, an edge creeping into his voice, "So let me rehearse this for you. If you want to keep right in this town, you gotta keep right with Mr. Smalls. Is that catchy enough for you? Can you follow the tune? 'Cause I'd sure like to interrogate this freak here and get on with my business."

Dr Rotwang!

[OOC: Vacation's over. Back to my normal schedule!]

Regaining his wits from the haze of psychometric morbidity, Quazarn turns his mighty brain to the present! He shakes his head gently, touching his temples and blinking.

"Officer!" he remarks to Tallbard. "You're repellent." He tries to make it sound like 'Your repellent?' but he doesn't try very hard. "You're here, still, without it?"

As he does this, he sizes up the Chief, his distance from arm's length -- and his fighting ability. Though he often ignores it, Quazarn is stronger in his physique than he is thaumaturgically; he can probably take this guy and get himself and the Hobling out of here...

Max

"Found your voice again, son?" he grins, with suave menace. "I've got the repellent right here, now that you mention it. Stand right there and open your mouth. Officer, you'd better grab his arms and hold him steady."

Chief Tallbard hefts the applicator, waiting for Hobson to move in. He's just over 6' tall, about the same build as Quazarn, intimidatingly handsome. His voice is soft and deep, smooth as blended whiskey, and his eyes have the crinkle and gleam of a matinee idol's.

[Welcome back, Doc. Hope you had a fun time off!

[Say, just noticed something on your character sheet: looks like you've forgotten to tally your Psi-Resist. I believe it should be 44%.]

Age of Fable

[I can't think of any way out of this short of attacking the Chief, so unless Quazarn can do something I'm going to have to let him join in the 'interrogation']

Max

[Here's a data point I forgot to mention. I know it looks like a JM orc ex machina but this was a straight up dice roll, word to ya mothers.]

Just as Tallbard takes a cautious step toward Quazarn, the door to the locker room lurches open. The orcish attendant Chet cranes in his head and scans the locker room, his bloodshot eyes widening when he spots the Chief.

Age of Fable

I move behind Quazarn to 'pin his arms' as requested.

"Now then son, let's not have any trouble."

If it's safe to do so, I'll try to whisper to Quazarn - "I have no idea what to do at this point."

Dr Rotwang!

Quazarn watches Tallbard approach --

The Orc bursts in through the door --

The Chief hoists up his repellent --

"Too late, ossifer," Quazarn offers casually, and jerks his head toward the orc. "Symbiote's that way."

Max

Keeping the repellent gun trained on Quazarn, Tallbard stands sideways, trying to keep both the door and the warlock in view. He takes a quick glance and spies the attendant.

"Chester? What's going on here?" demands the Chief distractedly, then turns quickly back to Hobson. "Officer, secure the warlock!"

Dr Rotwang!

[Well, so much for my well-thought-out plan to nut the cop and run.]

Max

"How should I know, Chief Balltard?" mumbles Chester sourly. "I been on my break"

Tallbard's mustache bristles, and he turns for an instant to glare at the orc. "What did you just call me, boy?"

[The 'officer' in question is just Hobson, and Chester is just the orc locker room attendant and general dogsbody. That's clear, right?]

Dr Rotwang!

[Not really. I was calling Ballt- uh, Tallbard 'ossifer', and I have no idea who this Chet guy is. Is it safe to cock-knock the Cheef?]

Max

[Is it safe? You'll have to decide that for yourself.

[But Chet doesn't seem likely to run to his defense. If you had to guess he's been sparking magic incense on his break, and he's not exactly gazing upon the Chief with a look of reverent affection.]

Dr Rotwang!

Quazarn sighs. "Chief Balltard," he says, "The truth must out. There is no symbiote. But!", he declares with a flourish, "There is another thing you must know!"

And Quazarn, The Warlock Who Sucked At being A Warlock, grits his teeth and kicks Tallbard in the groin.

[ATTACK ROLL: 25!]

wulfgar

You made my morning Doc.

Age of Fable

"Oh no! He has magically escaped his bonds, which I definitely had him in!"

Max

[You can go ahead and roll for damage when you attack, along with a Saving Throw for defense. But in this case Chief T's Save was so good you needn't bother with the damage...]

Chief Tallbard is surprised by the conehead's sudden attack, but evades the kick with a the hip swivel of a champion hula-hooper. He raises his hands, palms out.

"Easy tiger. No need to make things any harder for yourself, son. Just take a deep breath and relax. We just need to ask you a few questions." The Chief's voice is deep and calm, laid back like a late night DJ spinning lazy soul records. Chill.

Quazarn feels all the tension in his body ebb away, and begins to wonder what there was to get worked up about.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The Brawl: Frankenstein Dreams and Stolen Canteens

wulfgar

"uuuuungh........marsh....mellows................. " mutters the unconscious Creature at a barely audible level.

Max

Rondo
Restore Courage: 3% (passed with flying colors)
(Water) Explore: 73% (failed)

wulfgar

Unpleasant Order:58% SUCCESS


Bodacious B.O.F. by Jared von Hindman. Creature's head lolls to the side, his arms limp. Buck scan the arena for signs of water, considering a dowsing attempt, then rushes to the fallen frankenstein's side. After a few slaps Creature begins to mumble incoherently, "Biggest...stacked...meaty." Buck smacks him again, a little harder, and with a mighty effort Creature rouses himself from dreams of large women and even larger sandwiches. His eyes flutter open, and he turns his head and retches.

[Creature is at 1 HP. If he rests he can recover some hit points and continue. If he gets hit right now though he'll be knocked unconscious and out of the Brawl for sure.]

Max
Rokem Sokem begins to spin side to side on it's vertical axle. A tin whistle pops out of a hatch on its shoulder, wailing like a far-off locomotive.

Before Creature can sit up there's a tinny bwoing-oing-oinging like the twanging of a giant metal rubber band. With a shriek as loud as the Iron Hills Express Rokem Sokem streaks past in a red and silver blur.

"LET ME AT THEM I CAME HERE TO KICK ASS AND CHEW BUBBLEGUM AND AM FULLY PROGRAMMED TO DO BOTH SIMULTANEOUSLY."

Rokem zooms past Buck and Creature, bounces over Tumek and crashes into the line of AWOL klengons, furiously spinning his begloved fists. One of the deserters staggers back, both eyes blackened by the robot's piston punches. The klengon keeps his feet but his counter-punch clangs off Rokem's metal noggin.

The rest of the klengons fall into bedlam, bamboozled by the bot's biomechanical blitz.* The clown Wiggy Plop blows a warlike blast on a bicycle horn. Sugar Ray Rocketblaster shouts insults and struts for a non-existent crowd. Shifty McJumper and 3M "Triple Muscles" Ragnar charge forward, and the man-frog Leeplo leaps overhead.

Coffee
...Zarko does his best to jack a canteen of water from one of the Klengons I was sidling past. What the hell; rock and roll.

Halfway to a retreat chute Zarko turns at the sound of Rokem's battle whistle and sees the 'droid rush the klengon line. Scanning the scene quickly, the ape is surprised at Creature's rally, and intrigued by the confusion among the klengons. He considers Stealing a canteen from one of the deserters.

[roll 'em if you want to, Coffee]

*Man, alliteration. Sometimes it's hard to resist.

wulfgar


Creature tries to sit up and get over to the edge of the arena with the help of Buck, thinking "Man, that sandwich looks good!" along the way.

[OOC: Man, that sandwich looks good.]

Coffee

Zarko lunges at a likely looking deserter, the point being to make him believe I'm attacking but just enough to get him to recoil. Then I can make a grab for the canteen.

(Actually, looking over my character sheet, I HAVE a canteen of my own. But it's more fun to swipe one from an enemy!)

Steal is 35%. I get...38, and just miss it. Bummer.

Then I'll make my way back to Creature, hopefully avoiding any more Klengons on the way.

Max

[In fact, I'm factoring in a bonus to Steal due to the klengons' surprised state, so...]

Distracted by an oddball onslaught of dwarves, frog-men and blue elves -- oh my -- Zarko's target doesn't notice him creep up. The klengon flinches and throws up his arms to block the apes fake punch, and Zarko knuckle-jogs off with an extra canteen!

Rondo

"Whatta punch!! Whatta heart! You're something else, Creech!" Buck is grinning using all of his might just to support Creature whose arm is tight around his neck, like a drunken Lurch Addams. He leads him over to take a breather, spotting Zarko heading this way. Buck's thoughts turn towards Daryl for a minute. "Geesh, I hope the kid is okay." He busies himself knocking the dust and blood from the battle off of Creatures clothes.

Coffee

Flush with victory (of a sort), Zarko triumphantly hands the canteen to Buck.

"Water for our fearless leader!" he cries. "Courtesy of the opponents."

Zarko pauses, grabs the canteen back, opens it, and verifies that it is, in fact, water. If it is, he hands it back to Buck.

"There's such a thing as being too suspicious, of course; but not when you're dealing with Klengons."

Max

It's water.

[On the other hand, if y'all are feeling lucky: 5% chance it's a healing potion, 5% chance it's klengon "surrender ale." Given how klengons feel about surrender, such ale is a deadly poison.

JM's roll.]

wulfgar

Is that question directed at Zarko or Creature?

If it's my call, creature will take the roll...what the hey!

Max

[I intended for it to be a group decision, though naturally you'd have veto power. Let's see what the other two think.]

Rondo

Well, I kinda just wanted to splash it on his face anyway, personally, not really have him drink it....never good for a fighter....that comes later. Anyhow, that's my vote.

Coffee

I say we take the chance: A healing potion would be particularly groovy right about now.

And we could always use the "surrender ale" to trick some other unwary fighter...

wulfgar

[Illustrious JM...do you allow the old "I take a sip, see what it tastes like, and then spit it out if it tastes bad (with tasting bad=poison of course)" method of potion effect determination??

[I didn't think so, but thought it was worth a shot. We used to pull that one in our old D&D campaigns many moons ago.]

Max

Oh sure, I'd allow it.

But I wouldn't advise it. After all, medicine often tastes awful, and antifreeze is sweet.

EDIT: Your advisers are split, Wulf. What's it going to be then, eh?

wulfgar

[That's why I specified good stuff tastes good you silly JM!]

Anyways, assuming my fellow players are cool with it, Creature will chug the canteen- better to burn out than to fade away.

Max

Low roll: Potion. High Roll: Poison...

The suspense is killing me...

Monday, October 13, 2008

Hobson & Quazarn: Police and Thieves

Hobson and Quazarn have finally given Chief Tallbard the slip, or so they think...

Age of Fable

I'll continue with my plan to rob the lockers, unless Quazarn objects:
  • pick the locks, or shoot them off.
  • have the door closed.
  • lock the door if it locks, or if not have Quazarn stand against it, so that we know when the Chief's coming back.
Age of Fable

I convinced the camera-bot to stop recording. Hopefully there aren't any other cameras around [have I noticed any?].

Max

[Shooting the locks with your crossbow just ain't gonna work, you quickly deduce. Maybe if you had some Oliver Queen Model Torsion Bolts.

Just to keep things rolling, go ahead and make 3 percentile rolls for me.]

Age of Fable

54, 13, 84

Dr Rotwang!

[No objections, but how are we gettin' outta here?]

Max

Once the Chief is out of sight Quazarn & Hobson duck into the locker room. There's no sign of Chet the orcish orderly, nor anyone else, and Hobson doesn't spot any cameras on the way.

A black mood seems to have come over Quazarn, who stands watch near the swinging door of the locker room, brooding silently. Striving for an air of mystery and danger, the effect is spoiled by the conehead's quivering lower lip.*

Hobson sets to the lockers with a bobby pin and a laminated library card, and thanks to shoddy craftsmanship opens the first two lickety split. His findings, alas, are meager: in the first is only a Beggar's Guild sun-visor, a tin cup and 2 GC; in the second a monks cowl, a string of plain wooden prayer beads, and an iron-shod staff. The third lock just won't tumble.

*[My thought here Doc, is that since you're on vacation Quazarn is under a morbid psychometric cloud. Feel free to chime in if/when you can but if you don't get a chance he'll just follow Hobson around. Cool?]

Dr Rotwang!

Aces. Thanks!

Age of Fable

I'll try all the lockers unless something interrupts me.

Max

[Great. Go ahead and give me three new percentile rolls -- you're rolling steal, by the way, with some bonuses behind the JM screen. Every three lockers takes you about 5 minutes -- I'll post your findings and any other events of interest after each set of rolls.

[Do let me know what, if anything, you're *removing* from the lockers.]

Age of Fable

I've done a few 'sets' of rolls:

[67] [1] [21]
[10] [47] [22]
[6] [92] [100]
[47] [32] [93]
[69] [25] [35]

Max

Hobson makes his way methodically down the row of lockers. The first lock he tries comes apart in his hands, but the door itself is stuck tight. In frustration he bangs the door with his fist...and the next locker down swings open!* After that Hobson has much better luck, and has four more lockers open in a wink and two shakes.

Sadly he doesn't find much of interest: street clothes, smelly shorts, a few protein bars and a single dented gold credit. There's a spiked morning star in one locker, and a hobling-sized suit of quilted armor in another.** The only other item of note is a mottled purple melon -- a boomango [i.e. primitive grenade].

There's a sound of singing from the corridor. "Forsooth," sighs a world-weary Quazarn. "Chief Tallbard!"

*[This Fonzie moment brought to you by a critical success -- Australians know who the Fonz is, yeah?]
**[would add 33% to your Save, but reduce your movement to 3" and lower your melee ATT by 18%]

Thursday, October 9, 2008

The Brawl: Tumek the Heartless

Max

Perhaps half of the fighters who entered the Brawl are out of it by mid-day. The goblin medics work steadily at hauling off the wounded, pausing only to scowl up at the twisted boom of the medevac crane.

Aside from a few misfits and wilders still going it alone, the remaining fighters have split into a few camps. Runners jog from group to group, bringing challenges and insults from one boss fighter to another. Late in the morning a group made up of klengon deserters launches a sudden raid on one of the other gangs, scattering the lesser fighters and routing their dwarfish chief. The klengon leader wears a coward's brand but looks plenty fierce as he holds up the fallen dwarf's braids.

Neither runners nor raiders approach your group. For now...

wulfgar

Creature motions one of the runners to come over.

"Tell...him...Momma...Fat..Ugly" Creature grunts to the runner as he points at the Klengon chieftain.

(A momentary flash of what is hopefully intelligence has struck Creature's brain, as he figures it makes sense to fight the klengons while they're still tired from beating up on the dwarf's group. That and Creatures is getting a bit bored standing around)

Coffee

"Yeah!" Zarko adds. "I coulda stood around at home. I came here to fight!"

(Fortunately, I made my Unpleasant Order roll -- needed 70, got 67. Klengons are kinda scary...)

Rondo

Buck wants to keep in there too. Might as well; beats standing around. "Hey, gang...wanna walk over and knock some dust off their hats?"...points at a group of motley knuckleheads that stand gawking at our group, disorganized as we are about what to do.

Max

Originally Posted by wulfgar
Creature motions one of the runners to come over.

"Tell...him...Momma...Fat..Ugly" Creature grunts to the runner as he points at the Klengon chieftain.

Bob the Fighter, as modest and cheerful a fellow as you'd ever want to know, is quick to volunteer. "Sure thing, boss, I'll tell him."

"Tell em ezz mom'z so steppid she blenked and get lost," suggests Shifty. "Yebs, so flabby she hoppled ib the pool and mabe a tibal wave," burbles the man-frog Leeplo.

Bob doesn't look like the sort to pull off yo mama jokes, but he jogs off dutifully to issue Creature's challenge.

Originally Posted by Rondo
Buck wants to keep in there too. Might as well; beats standing around. "Hey, gang...wanna walk over and knock some dust off their hats?"...points at a group of motley knuckleheads that stand gawking at our group, disorganized as we are about what to do.

[As noted most fighters have joined one of the various ad hoc groups. Does Buck want to go looking for trouble with one of the unattached fighters wandering the arena (bunch of whackjobs and nutcases from what you can tell)? Or will he stick around and back Creech against the klengons?]

Rondo

(Creech and the Klengons....hey, that's a good band name!)

Max

Bob the Fighter catches the klengons' attention with a jovial wave. They fan around him a tense half circle as he approaches the leader, hand outstretched. The klengon spits in his face, but unflappable Bob merely pulls a handkerchief from a vest pocket and wipes off the spittle.

Bob speaks a few words, turning to point out Creature. The klengon shoves him roughly aside, and one of the other klengons pins Bob's arms behind his back. The klengon leader stalks back and forth amid his men, shouting unintelligibly. While he paces he flexes his neck side to side and shakes his thin, puny arms. He shakes his arms so hard, in fact, that they detach from his shoulders.

Without hesitation one of his men kneels before him, arms outstretched. A klengon grabs hold of each arm, pulling mightily till they too are detached, then traded to the leader. Rearmed the leader flexes his brawny borrowed biceps, grabs a wicker shield and strides toward Creature's crew. His squad flanks him, nine AWOL klengons in all, and Bob the fighter frog-marched ahead of them.1

"I am Tumek the Heartless," barks the leader, slapping a jagged scar on his chest, the mark of a failed heck'bad. "You dare slander the mothers of the House Rannuf? I will slay you where you stand!"

wulfgar

"Yo..Momma...so...dumb..make..me..look..smart"

Intiative:1
Attack:91% HIT
Damage:13
Save:21% SAVE

Max

The klengon squad and your gang form two lines about 20' apart. In the center Creature and Tumek circle each other warily. The two fighters lunge for each other in the same instant, each catching the other's blow on his shield. Tumek rocks back, bobbing and weaving, waiting for a chance to duck in under Creature's reach.

[take 2 hp damage]

[EDIT: take NO damage. Per EC p22: Saving Throws of less than half the needed value = no damage!]

wulfgar

"Yo.momma..so..fat..go..on..all..lard.diet.....lose..5..pounds"

Creature continues his momma jokes in an effort to distract the Klengon from the deadly task at hand. Getting in close with his shield he attempts to stomp on the foe's foot.

Attack: 36% HIT
Damage: 9
Save: 97% FAIL

Do you want me to reroll initiative each round or just play on?

Rondo

"Hey! Somethin' stinks around here...smells like a Klengon Porta Potty!" with that Buck jumps any additional Klengon from the gang using his makeshift club.

Initiative: 8 (not sure if we apply bonus...if so, please do so)
Attack: 9 (way successful..finally)
Damage: 1 + 2 = 3
Save: 43% (missed)

Max

wulfgar
Do you want me to reroll initiative each round or just play on?

[First round was a tie so we'll reroll this round. Once we've got an order we'll stick with it]

Rondo
"Hey! Somethin' stinks around here...smells like a Klengon "Porta Potty"!", with that Buck jumps any additional Klengon from the gang using his makeshift club.

[Right now the klengons and your crew are separated into two lines, with Creech and Tumek slugging it out in the middle. Buck would have to charge the Klengon line to attack one of them. That your plan?]

Rondo

(nah...I'll just stand like a bump on a log)

wulfgar

Initiative for Creature: -2

Max

Feinting a leg kick the klengon springs forward with a superman punch, but mistimes it. Creature bobs to the side and stomps down hard with his square boot....

...leaving only a size 13 footprint in the dust. Tumek evades the stomp with ease and backs away again, circling Creature. The klengon bares his teeth in a wicked grin.

[Initiative is now set, advantage Tumek]

wulfgar

"Yo..Momma..so..ugly...no..need..mask..for..hallow.een"

Creature feints another stomp, and then slams forward with a head but.

Attack: 56% HIT
Damage: 13
Save: 57% FAIL

Max

As Creature lunges forward Tumek springs up and catches him with a flying knee! Creature is rocked but wraps his free arm around the klengon and flings him to the ground. Tumek rolls to his feet and raises his guard.

[take 9 HP damage, ouch. Leaves you at 5, I believe. This is non-lethal damage, but you'll need to roll Survival + your STR score to fight on below 0 HP. -16 is fatal.]

wulfgar

"Yo..Momma..so..smelly..even..you.notice"

Attack: 4% HIT
Damage: 8
Save: 13% SAVE

Creature feints high to get the Klengon's shield up and then snaps off a kick to the knee.

Rondo

(Get him Creech! Shove his elbow up his butt!)

Max

The klengon throws a few short jabs but Creature backs out of his range. Creature feints an overhand right, but Tumek isn't fooled. The klengon blocks the kick with his shield and throws his weight forward, trying to upend the 'stein. Creature hops on his back leg once, twice, finds his footing, and thrusts back on the shield with his kicking leg, knocking Tumek to the ground. Once again the klengon rolls to his feet, but more slowly this time.

While Tumek and Creature battle, Buck notices that Rokem Sokem is acting a little odd. The boxing droid rolls in tight circles on its single tire, and its optical sensors blink rapidly. The LED readouts on Rokem's chest plate begin to glow red...

"I CAN NOT TAKE IT ANYMORE LET ME AT THEM I WILL KNOCK THEIR BLOCKS OFF I WILL MURDERIZE THEM"

Coffee

Zarko notices this, also, and moves in to intervene.

I have a Machine Friend of 40, so I'm gonna try that first: 72. Okay, maybe not.

In that case, I'm gonna try to 'aim' Rockemsockem at the most dangerous looking Klengon over there, so if he goes off, we might get lucky and take out a real dangerous one.

Max

Zarko fails to find a calming toggle or vari-mood dial on the 'droid, but is able to aim it for the meanest looking klengon. Rokem Sokem begins to spin side to side on it's vertical axle. A tin whistle pops out of a hatch on its shoulder, wailing like a far-off locomotive.

wulfgar

"Yo..momma..so..hairy..when..you.was.kid...lost..in..her..armpit....FOUR..days"

Creature plows into the Klengon with his shield and tries to knock him off his feet.

Attack: 96% HIT
Damage: 10
Save: 40 SAVE

Max

Stepping back out of reach the klengon crouches low. When Creature charges in with his shield Tumek leaps to the side, flinging sand in Creature's face. As the frankenstein lumbers past Tumek elbows him in the neck.

"Yield, man-thing! Kneel before me and I may spare you."

[2 HP damage.]

wulfgar

Annoyed at the sand, Creature thinks he may have hit on a Momma joke that will strike a nerve with the Klengon..

"Yo.momma..so..honorable......broken.down..doxy..teach..her.be..ladylike!"

Not that creature is going to snitch on the guy for cheating, but he wonders if the cameras/refs saw that fling sand in the eyes move. Isn't sand an illegal weapon?

Sucking it up and taking it like a man, or morelike the composite of several dead men, Creature feigns a bit greater exhaustion then he is really feeling and stumbles to one knee. When the hopefully enraged and reckless Klengon comes in to finish him off, Creature will punch him in the junk.

Attack: 27% HIT
Damage: 8
Saving Throw: 88% FAIL

Rondo

Buck folds his arms laughing at this entire spectacle gone awry. If Buck notices anyone starting to engage any of the party in combat, he'll act...otherwise, I suppose I'll sit tight and observe for a bit.

Max

wulfgar
Not that creature is going to snitch on the guy for cheating, but he wonders if the the cameras/refs saw that fling sand in the eyes move. Isn't sand an illegal weapon?

[Apparently not. And besides, since when do the refs ever see any dirty tricks the heel pulls?]

wulfgar
Annoyed at the sand, Creature thinks he may have hit on a Momma joke that will strike a nerve with the Klengon. "Yo.momma..so..honorable......brokendown..doxy..teach..her.be..ladylike!*"

"My mother was a stone-faced killer, you vile cadaver! Haaaiii!" rages Tumek. The klengon charges as Creature lowers his head, landing another knee full in the face. Blood pours from the frankenstein's nose even as he wallops the klengon in the crotch, crushing all hopes for the future of the House Rannuf like eggshells filled with jelly**.

Tumek gasps and passes out...but Creature wobbles too...

[take 9 HP, Creature, putting you at -6. To stay conscious you'll need to roll Survival + your STR score; this is optional.]

*[My, such big words. I'm tempted to charge you a hit point for the mental strain...]

**[Yeah, I sort of grossed myself out with this too.]

wulfgar

Creature struggles to his feet, snarls at his fallen foe, flashes Buck a big thumbs up, and then falls right over backwards....out cold.

Surival+Strenght= 57 Roll=69% FAIL

Coffee

Zarko looks over at Buck.

"Well," he says, "I'm broke. No sense getting killed, too. You coming?"

And with that, Zarko starts to sidle off toward the exit. He's keeping an eye on the Klengons, though.

Max

[quick clarification for Buck & Zarko: Creature is unconscious but not dead. Brawl damage is subdual unless you run up against a fighter with an illegal weapon]

Rondo

"Wow!"....Buck runs over to Creature slapping him lightly on the face, "C'mon kid...snap out of it," Buck turns to Zarko, "Hey, we need some water here...see any anyplace?"

Buck watches Zarko heading away..."Hmm...too far away"...Buck starts looking for some water around him...a bucket, a bottle, a soft drink...anything....he continues to slap Creech...."That was amazing kid! Wake up...! C'mon!"

Max

No one offers you any water. What's a Pioneer to do?

[Give me a Restore Courage roll though, and an Unpleasant Order from Wulfgar.]

wulfgar

Restore Courage: 37% FAIL
Unpleasant Order: 58% SUCCESS

Rondo

Ha! Touche....I'm an idiot....
Restore Courage: 3% (passed with flying colors)
(Water) Explore: 73% (failed)

Max

[I was looking for Provide, Rondo, but that roll doesn't cut it either way.]

Coffee

[Okay, so, knocked out isn't out? What about Darryl? Will he be coming back?

[Because I'm like totally confused now.]

Under this new understanding of the basic laws of reality, Zarko does his best to jack a canteen of water from one of the Klengons I was sidling past. What the hell; rock and roll.

Max

[Quoting Adam Savage of Mythbusters, "I reject your reality and substitute my own!" The thing is, Creech is a trained Warrior and was knocked out but only just. Darryl is a klutzy wimp with daddy issues who's watched Rocky LXII* one too many times, and was darn near choked to death to boot.

[I guess what I'm going for, simulation-wise (>>snerk, ha!<<) is the way a fighter gets his bell rung, or even gets knocked out for a bit, and can stagger back to his feet.] * Rocky LXII is notable for bringing back the cybernetic ghost of Sylvester Stallion for his final reprisal of the part.

Max

Is there hope yet to bring Creature back around? Will Buck find water? Will Zarko steal some? Is Rokem Sokem about to blow his stack? All will be revealed....

------------------------
1 Boy that's a lot of awkwardly written business just to work in Tumek's detachable limbs mutation.